*the following is a joint rp. Kthxbye
Note: NO LAYOUT! you know why? I refuse to do that since there is no need for the gheyness. I DON'T NEED THE STRETCHERS NEITHER DO YOU!, kthxbye 
The scene openes up and we cut straight to fans view. We see a video playing with cocky generic music showing Evan Pierce and Mark Riggs clips. At the end of it we hear an entrance voice singing the lyrics from Batman but in a different tune.
Voice: DUNANANANANA FACT SHEET!
A small bit of laughter can be heard from the people on set as the voice returns.
Voice: The Fact sheet is brought to you by the ones who are better than you. Those who don’t need and introduction but will take one anyways, Today’s Hero and Tomorrows Enemy, Evan Pierce and BUD’s rising Star, Mark Riggs.
Slowly we fade from a still image of Evan and Mark and onto the set of “The Fact Sheet.�?Behind a news reporter looking desk we see the crew of M&E. We turn to Pierce first and he looks down at the papers that he and Mark had planned out before throwing them all behind his head and speaking.
Evan Pierce: Fuck it. You improve it.
Pierce stares into the camera and nods with a grin speaking.
Evan Pierce: Hi, my names Evan Pierce but then again you already all know that and you already all know that I am better than you so instead of the chitter chatter we got going on here. Why don’t we cut straight to the point and I give you the top five reasons that Evan Pierce and Mark Riggs are better than Jade and the unknown jobberific commodity. HERE WE GO.
We see a graphic of the number FIVE show up and Pierce speaks.
Evan Pierce: Reason number five, we’re not failures at life.
Mark nods and mouths the words “it’s true�?as Pierce grins.
Evan Pierce: NUMBER FOUR.
The graphic of the word four appears with Evan’s face next to it. We fade to Evan who grins speaking.
Evan Pierce: Me and Mark haven’t slept with the whole BUD locker room like Jade has.
Mark looks uneasy at Pierce and whispers something in his ear and Evan nods and speaks.
Evan Pierce: No Mark, sleeping with all the non sluts doesn’t count. You’re fine.
Mark grins nodding his head as Evan shakes his head. The number three appears on the screen. We then fade back to Pierce who speaks.
Evan Pierce: Reason number three, is that unlike them we are the best thing to happen to BUD since Seifer . I mean look at us. We’re Evan Pierce and Mark fucking Riggs. We’re sexy, we’re talented, we know how to cut a proper promo where we mention our opponents and we have BUD lineage. I mean that screams epic win right there!
Pierce grins rolling his shoulders and cracking his neck. We fade to the graphic of the number two on the screen and then back to Pierce. Evan now has a sandwich in his hand and takes a bite out of it. He quickly hides it realizing the camera is back on him and grins swallowing. Mark punches Evan in the arm to talk as Evan nods quickly.
Evan Pierce: ugh, number two is. Ugh……………I’m Evan Pierce and I have a sandwich and they don’t!
Pierce pulls out his whopper from burger king and takes another large bite out of it. Mark shakes his head laughing as Pierce grins and then nods pointing. We swing to see a set of guitars set up. The man at the drums gives a long drum roll. The number one appears on the screen and slowly fades to Pierce’s face as he’s speaking in the background.
Evan Pierce: The number one reason why M&E are better than the jobberific commodity and Jade is……�?we don’t go around calling ourselves Doctor Feel good because honestly. What the fuck is that?
Mark laughs loudly remembering the promo where Johnny called himself Dr. Feel Good. We see Mark laughing and then go back to Evan whose holding a large BURGER KING plastic cup in his hand. He drinks his pop and stares at the scene and after a few moments of sipping the pop he clears his throat and speaks.
Evan Pierce: But in the end ladies and gentlemen, you all know why me and Mark are BETTER than Jade and Johnny. IT’s simply because we’re us and their not so before sending this show over to mark let me leave our opponents with a safety tip and present.
Pierce goes under the desk and comes out with two tickets. We zoom in on the tickets and their airline tickets to Hawaii but are scheduled for the day of Chaos Theory. Pierce nods and speaks.
Evan Pierce: From your friends here at the Fact Sheet we give you two tickets to Hawaii. These are for of course Johnny and Jade. The plane leaves just one hour before Chaos Theory so if you jump on it you can have a good excuse as to why you no-showed you’re a match against us. It wasn’t because you were afraid but because you had a once in a lifetime opportunity! Think about it Johnny and Jade, if you want the tickets just contact me but if you don’t I will just give them to the first random person I see and I’m Evan Pierce. I see a lot of people and on that note like here is my co-host Mark!!!
Mark grins and he tells the camera to zoom into his shirt where it reads “HTML > MSN�?with Bold writing on it. Mark smiles and Evan just chuckles.
Mark Riggs: “Thank you Evan! Yeah, and I’m glad we’re doing the switch because honestly, who the fuck cares about the stupid gay colors of MSN. Anyways�?Would you like to try some Feel Good Energy?�?/FONT>
Evan Pierce: Do I look emo? No, so go pull that shit with Andy.
Mark and Evan look at each other and laugh at the mention of Andy�?It brings back memories�?/FONT>
FLASH
We find Andy getting arrested after a crime he did not commit. Mark and Evan do the Crotch chop. Andy is still in Mexico, behind Mexican bars�?SUCKS TO BE YOU ANDY.
FLASH BACK
We return as there is a man who wears a white wife beater with shorts on. Clearly he has a Spanish nationality.
Mark: “Who the fuck is?�?/FONT>
Evan: “It’s Pedro, our assistant.�?/FONT>
By assistant�?that means�?well another Andy. The tall Spanish guy looks below Evan and shakes his head.
Rick: “My names not Pedro, It’s Rick.�?/FONT>
Evan: �?NOBODY CARES PEDRO.�?/FONT>
Mark: “YEAH JOSE!!�?/FONT>
Rick: “……�?�?/FONT>
Mark: “ANYWAYS. Did you know that people thought I was you?�?/FONT>
Evan opens his mouth like that shocked face on MSN.
Evan: “Is that so?�?/FONT>
Mark: “Yep. Apparently people thought Mark Riggs never existed and they all thought you were me. But dude, seriously how come there’s two people in person right now? Dumb fucks, so for those who heard that rumor�?you win our weekly…�?/FONT>
Mark gets up and turns around revealing his back of his t-shirt which reads “You are Lulz�?pointing to whoever is standing beside Mark.
Mark: “You are lulz.�?/FONT>
He pointed his index finger to the screen meaning “You�?
Mark: “Besides, the biggest lulz is Sara, now that’s ONE CUNT!�?/FONT>
Mark smirks as Evan cracks up laughing, knowing what that meant�?
Mark: “Oy. I should be asleep right now. I should be back in my bed, with no one but two comforters on it, hey its cold outside now, cut me some slack. Before I rant off, I’m going to mention this now, JOHNNY BRAVULI�?YOU SUCK! Well, whatever his name is. I don’t care, this story isn’t about him. But where was I going with this? Oh yes, instead of Nutter being the lulz�?ugh. You ARE! Who the hell would call themselves “Dr Feel Good�?I’d rather prefer Dr Pepper. Back to the point, this will be great. I get to beat up an Emo, and slap a slut’s ass for not giving her pimp the pleasure. Because Sexy Mark is here, and he’s bringing sexy back.�?/FONT>
All of a sudden a remix of “Sexy Back�?blasts through the speakers and Evan is all like “…�?/P>
Mark: “YEAH, I’M BRINGING SEXY MARK BACK, YEAH!�?/FONT>
Mark didn’t realize he was singing out loud before Evan taps him on the shoulder and Mark jumps out of his day dream and shrugs.
Mark: “Alright�?M&E is the best team that ever graced the ring. Yeah, we’re better than Whores and Emos. You should have the honor of entering the ring with one of the talented Wrestlers there is today. And it seems that you’re going to fall victim to Karmark. And I’ll let you know now, Karmark is a bitch.�?/FONT>
Out from his pocket, he pulls out a joint that smells Canada all over it. Probably got it from one of his buds, Beefy. He lights the bad boy up, and inhales and puffs the smoke out.
Mark: “Right now Johnny boy, I don’t care. I don’t care if you’re going to reply afterwards until the last. I don’t care if you talk longer than I did. I’m making this short and sweet. To win this, it involves natural talent. Not somebody who cuts his wrists with a razor and sits on the ground like a depressed sum bitch. I see you as an Emo because I know that you are one. And you know what? I hate emo’s. Therefore call me�?THE EMO KILLER. Because I’m going to kill off the Emo population one by one, starting with you. Oh and Jade, I know you got my number somehow, but I don’t roll like that slut bag who likes EMO.�?/FONT>
With that said, Mark flipped off the camera.
Mark: “Hahahahaahhaahahahahah. Mark who?�?/FONT>
All of a sudden Mike Jones walks in.
Mike: “WHO? MIKE JONES! WHO? MIKE JONES? WHO MIKE…�?/EM>
Mark boots him out and laughs.
Mark: “MARK RIGGS! WHO? MARK RIGGS!! That is one of the LAMEST comebacks I ever seen before. You rebuttal on simply saying “Who�? Wow Jade, at least I didn’t say that to you. Because honestly, who in the blue hell are you? I just looked at your resume and remembered you were with Zarek Lyle one time. Slut bag. I mean seriously Jade, who are you? Apparently you think I’m a jobber. OH SHIT YOU JUST SAID JOBBER?!!? You’re not supposed to say that, negative 2 for you bitch. Yeah, you remind me of somebody though�?I forgot her name since she was such a dyke it was unreal. But she looks like�?that one chick. Yeah, bad with names but I’m sure you are too Gade. Whoops! I DID IT AGAIN. Anyways, she was a crack head and was a dirty bitch. Ewww. Big mistake with her, ya know? Oh and like OMGZORZ I SHOWED UP LOL. I MEAN HOW THE HELL WOULD YOU KNOW SINCE THE EVENT HASN’T HAPPENED YET YOU STUPID BITCH. WHY AM I YELLING? I’M NOT, IT’S STUCK! Sorry, I don’t fear you Jade Jiles. You were always the notorious slut, but I don’t fear you one bit you aid infected whore.�?/FONT>
Evan nudged Mark and shook his head.
Evan: “That’s not Jade Jiles you tard! It’s Jade.�?/FONT>
Mark: “Who’s that again?�?/FONT>
Evan: “The chick that slept with Zarek, you know…�?/FONT>
Mark: “Yeah, wasn’t that Jade Jiles? She sleeps with everyone!�?/FONT>
Evan slams his palm towards his forehead.
Evan: “NO YOU IDIOT! SHE’S CHRISTINA GELLAR FFS!!�?/FONT>
Rick: “She is the one...�?/FONT>
Mark: “OH STFU ALREADY PEDRO! WHY DONT YOU JUST GO AND MOW MY LAWN LIKE A GOOD LAWN KEEPER YOU ARE.�?/FONT>
Evan: “JEA, PEDRO AND GIVE ME A BURRITO TOO!!�?/FONT>
Pedro shakes his head as he walks out of the scene.
Mark: “ANYWAYS, BEFORE I GOT RUDELY INTERRUPTED...�?/FONT>
Mark takes a moment or two to remember that name�?heh, who? (for real)
Mark: “Who the fuck? I don’t know a Jade Gellar. I do know a Jade Jiles though�?you sure she’s not it? Dang, I was wrong about you. I mean, I don’t even know this chick�?wow I feel like an ass now. At least I didn’t swoop as low as you did when you said “Mark who?�?because I’m no Mike Jones. You should recognize that name. Oh wait, you were always hiding behind locked doors. WHOOPS! ANOTHER HIT, and down goes the Titanic. Yeah, when you were hiding behind BUD, I was making a name in OCW.�?Sigh. “I don’t wanna tell my whole life story because it’s going to take years, so fuck that. But yeah, ugly crack whore and a�?Emo? Cool, you two should totally try out Feel Good Chocolate. Eat it, and see what happens.�?/FONT>
Mark smiled, knowing that they would both die and he wouldn’t care at all.
“Fuck off; I’m done. I don’t like you, and I’ll promise that you won’t live afterwards. Feel Good won’t even save you!�?/FONT>
“WE’RE M&E, AND WE’RE BETTER THAN YOU!�?/EM>
With that said, the generic rock music blares as we fade out to Mark who is standing up and is behind showing his t-shirt as Evan laughs. We fade out to the Fact Sheet logo.
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