FROM: THE DOG

Dear God:  Is it on purpose our names are the same, only reversed?

 

Dear God:  Why do humans smell the flowers, but seldom, if ever, smell one another?

 

Dear God:  When we get to heaven, can we sit on your couch? Or is it still the same old story? 

Dear God:  Why are there cars named after the jaguar, the cougar, the mustang, the  colt, the stingray, and the rabbit, but not ONE named for a Dog? How often  do you see a cougar riding around? We do love a nice ride! Would it be so hard to rename the 'Chrysler Eagle' the 'Chrysler Beagle'? 

Dear God:  If a Dog barks his head off in the forest and no human hears him, is he still a bad Dog? 

Dear God:  We Dogs can understand human verbal instructions, hand signals, whistles,  horns, clickers, beepers, scent ID's, electromagnetic energy fields, and  Frisbee flight paths. What do humans understand? 

Dear God:  More meatballs, less spaghetti, please. 

Dear God:  Are there mailmen in Heaven? If there are, will I  have to apologize?

Dear God:  

Let me give you a list of just some of the things I must remember to be a good Dog.

1 I will not eat the cats' food before they eat it or after they throw it up.  

3 The Litter Box is not a  cookie jar.

4 The sofa is not a 'face towel'.

5 The  garbage collector is not stealing our stuff..

6 I will not play  tug-of-war with Dad's underwear when he's on the toilet.

 

7  Sticking my nose into someone's crotch is an unacceptable way of saying 'hello'.

 
8. I don't need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm under the coffee table .

 
9. I must shake the rainwater out of my fur before entering the house - not after.

  
10. I will not come in from outside and immediately drag my butt.

 

11. I will not sit in the middle of the living room and lick my crotch.

 

12. The  cat is not a 'squeaky toy' so when I play with him and he makes that  noise, it's usually not a good thing.

 

P.S.  Dear God: When I get to Heaven may I have my testicles back?

   

'Until one has loved an animal, part of their soul remains unawakened!

~~~~~