Abe and Esther are flying to Australia for a two-week vacation to celebrate their 40th anniversary.
Suddenly, over the public address system, the captain announces, "Ladies and Gentlemen, I am afraid I have some very bad news.
Our engines have ceased functioning and we will attempt an emergency landing. Luckily, I see an uncharted island below us and we should be able to land on the beach.
However, the odds are that we may never be rescued and will have to live on the island for the rest of our lives!"
Thanks to the skill of the flight crew, the plane lands safely on the island.
An hour later, Abe turns to his wife and asks, "Esther, did we pay our $5,000 PBS pledge check yet"?
"No, sweetheart," she responds.
Abe, still shaken from the crash landing, then asks, "Esther, did we pay our American Express card yet"?
"Oh, no! I'm sorry. I forgot to send the check," she says.
"One last thing, Esther. Did you remember to send checks for the Visa and MasterCard this month"? he asks.
"Oh, forgive me, Abie," begged Esther. "I didn't send that one, either."
Abe grabs her and gives her the biggest kiss in 40 years.
Esther pulls away and asks him, "So, why did you kiss me"?
Abe answers, "They'll find us!"
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While on traffic duty, my son Ken, an Philly cop stopped an elderly lady for an infraction. He asked her age. She answered, "Seventy-five."
Ken then asked to see her driver's license, and after a quick calculation, he said, "It says here you're closer to 85."
Innocently she looked up. "My! Where did the time go?"
I hadn't seen my family for some time and, feeling especially nostalgic, I was looking forward to this visit.
Most of all I wanted to see my grandparents, who were getting on in years.
On my second day, my sister and I took my maternal grandma out for lunch.
At one point Grandma suddenly turned to me and said: "I'm glad I got the chance to see you, dear. I'm not going to be around much longer, you know."
"Oh, Grandma!" I protested, close to tears. "Of course you are!" I grasped her hand and held it tenderly.
"No, I'm not," Grandma repeated excitedly. "I leave for Las Vegas in three days!"
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