Introduction: There are three kinds of people: those who read the owner's manual/directions carefully; those who never read the owner's manual; and, those who read the manual when forced to do so. I don't know which group you would identify with, but our lessons this quarter take us to the "owner's manual" on marriage. How is your marriage? Would paying a little more attention to the "owners manual" be helpful? Why not try it? God created us. He created marriage, and we start this week with what God has to say about the first marriage: Adam and Eve. Whether your marriage could use a little "tune up" or is a complete disaster, let's jump right in and see what the "owner's manual" has to teach us!

1. Creation of Marriage
   
   
   1. Read Genesis 1:26. Imagine you were sitting in a "box seat" during Creation watching God put together the world. First you saw Him create light, then sky, then separate land from water, then create vegetation, then the sun and moon, then the sea creatures and finally the land creatures. The result was this beautiful world. Now you hear God say the words of verse 26. What would you think about being a human? (It is great to be you! It would be a thrilling thing. Not only would I be in the image of God - who had just done all these great and powerful things, but I would be in charge of the creation!)
      
      
   2. Read Genesis 1:27. How can God say that He created humans in His image when we refer to God as "Father" and "Son," and Holy Spirit and He created both "male and female?" (There are several attributes of God's "image," that apply to humans. But, the obvious is what you just saw from your "box seat." God just created this fabulous world and now, with the combination of male and female, He gave to His creation the ability to further create. Not just create trees or cows, but create the most sophisticated part of His creation: humans!)
      
      
      1. Who was God speaking about when He said in Genesis 1:26 "Let us make...?" (It must have been the Trinity.)
         
         
   3. Read Genesis 2:18. What motivated God to create a helper for Adam? (God said it was not good for Adam to be alone.)
      
      
   4. Read Genesis 2:19-20. Where were Adam and God looking for a suitable helper? (Among the animals!)
      
      
      1. Is this a joke? Is God inserting a little humor into His account? Or, is there some substance here that we do not want to overlook? (One of the grand attributes of God is His partnership with us. Not only did He partner with Adam in naming the animals, but He let Adam make a judgment about who would be Adam's "suitable partner." Adam found none among the animals. Instead, he found a pattern of male and female in the animal kingdom.)
         
         
      2. Consider the world "helper." Is this like a "carpenter's assistant," a "plumber's helper," or even "hamburger helper?" Does it communicate a secondary role for Eve? (Read Psalms 70:5. This is one of several texts where God is referred to as our "help" or "helper.")
         
         
   5. Read Genesis 2:21-22. This is one of the most interesting passages in the Bible. Ponder a few questions:
      
      
      1. Much of the Creation was spoken into existence. God seems to have "hand made" Eve. Why?
         
         
      2. Why did God put Adam to sleep while He made Eve? Why "bring her to" Adam? Why not let him watch her being created?
         
         
      3. Adam was also "hand made" from the dirt. (Genesis 2:7) Why did God make Eve out of a part of Adam? Why make her out of a rib?
         
         
         1. Why do people even have ribs? (Your ribs protect your vital organs. God took something that gave Adam protection and used it to create Eve.)
            
            
   6. Read Genesis 2:23. What is Adam's response to the way Eve was created? (He felt this real identity with his wife.)
      
      
      1. What lesson do you draw from this regarding marriage? (That God intended husband and wife to have this close identity with each other.)
         
         
   7. Read Genesis 2:24. Who is speaking? The context of this is Adam having a rib removed and Eve being created from it. I have not seen that in a modern marriage. How do husband and wife become "one flesh?" (I don't think Adam is speaking. It is the "narrator" - God speaking through Moses. Husbands and wives literally become one flesh in their children.)
      
      
   8. Read 1 Corinthians 11:11-12. How does Paul understand the significance of Eve being made from Adam's rib?
      
      
      1. I'm often teased that men (and the rest of the animals) were made from dirt and women from Adam. From what does Paul say men were born? (Women! Paul says men and women need each other!)
         
         
   9. Read Genesis 2:25. What do you think is the purpose for this comment? Bible "real estate" is scarce. This story is very abbreviated. Why is this detail so important that it is recorded? (This is the ultimate proof of their combined identity and innocence: their ease with each other.)
      
      
2. Corruption of Life
   
   
   1. Read Genesis 3:1-6. Matthew Henry, along with other commentators, reads these verses to mean that Eve and the serpent were at first alone, and then Adam was brought into the picture later. I believe that is the implication from the way this is written. Whatever the timing, who is the "leader," the "ringleader" in this sin? (It is clear that Eve is the ringleader in this terrible sin. She is the one who gives the fruit to Adam.)

1. Read Genesis 3:7. Have you ever "had your eyes opened" to your sin? Do you remember that terrible "after sin" feeling - where you realize how awful you have been?
   
   
   1. We now get back to our Genesis 2:25 question: why would they feel naked now? They are sinners, but the are still married! (Sin exposes you to shame and humiliation and guilt. If you let sin into your marriage, you will be humiliated. It seems clear that Genesis is not talking just about being naked, it is talking about the impact of sin on humans. It strips away our dignity. It robs us of our joy.)
      
      
2. Read Genesis 3:16. Did Eve's leadership role in bringing sin to humanity alter her relationship with Adam?
   
   
   1. Did it alter the relationship between all married people? (The results of sin were passed on to all humans. It does not seem that God is speaking only to Eve. What God declared fell on all women.)
      
      
      1. Isn't this grossly unfair? Why should Eve's sin affect the marriages of those women who come along after her? (The whole thing is "unfair," in the sense that Adam and Eve plunged us all into sin. This lack of fairness is not God's fault. He was not the author of sin. God "unfairly" died in our place and paid the penalty for our sin. In our text God is declaring the results of sin - results that were more terrible for Him.)
         
         
3. Read Genesis 3:17-19. Television tells me to listen to my wife. My wife tells me to listen to her. Is that an un-Biblical principle? (No. The context is listening to your wife instead of listening to God. A penalty is imposed on Adam which is passed on to the rest of men.)
   
   
4. Was the marriage relationship altered by sin?
   
   
   1. How should that fact impact your marriage? Would it be reasonable to strive for a "pre-sin" marriage relationship? Or, is that not possible? (Before sin Adam seemed to have a leadership role. See, 1 Timothy 2:13-14. The Bible gives husbands a leadership, not tyrant, but leadership role in a God-honoring marriage. However, if God is not at the center of the marriage, then we have moved on to something else.)
      
      
   2. How should wives relate to a husband who is not godly? (Read 1 Peter 3:1-2. Having the right attitude towards an unbelieving husband helps to attract him to God.)
      
      
      1. Sometimes I am asked if "submission" means submission to improper behavior. What would you answer? (This text suggests the answer is "no," because it refers to "the purity and reverence" of the life of the godly wife.)
         
         
5. Friend, God's ideal for your marriage is an identity between husband and wife. When spouses start looking out for their own needs first, then the marriage starts to unravel. Will you commit to putting the needs of your spouse before your needs?
   
   
1. Next week: Abraham and Sarah.

Introduction: Hebrews 11:11-12 celebrates the faith of Abraham in the promise that he would have many descendants. The reality of the marriage between Abram and Sarah, and their relationship to God, seems a little different than the perfect picture of faith. It makes us scratch our head. What should we conclude about this? The writer of Hebrews had his blinders on? Or, that God is more merciful and generous to us in our marriage decisions and our relationship with Him than we might think? Let's dive into our study this week and find out!

1. The Wait
   
   
   1. Read Genesis 12:2-3. Abram was 75 years old (Genesis 12:4) when he was first promised by God to become a "great nation." Put yourself in Abram's sandals: when would you expect that promise to be fulfilled? (Soon, given his age!)
      
      
      1. How important a promise would you guess this was in Abram's culture? (Very.)
         
         
   2. Read Genesis 15:1-3. If you owe someone money, are you conscious of this when you see them? Is it the first thing that comes to your mind?
      
      
      1. Abram is now 85, ten years have passed since God promised him (at 75) to "become a great nation." Why does God, no doubt remembering His promise, tell Abram that his faithfulness to God is a "great reward?"
         
         
      2. Evaluate Abram's response: is this the response of faith? Abram immediately tells God He has not kept His promise and the arrangements have been made to have his chief servant inherit Abram's "great reward." (There are two levels of faith. The first is accepting and patiently waiting. The second is challenging God to keep His promise. Both look to God as the One who is able to perform. The "non-faith" response is simply to ignore God because you no longer think He is a factor.)
         
         
   3. Read Genesis 15:4-6. What did God say to Abram that revived His faith in the promise?
      
      
   4. Read Genesis 17:15-17. How many years have now passed without God fulfilling His promise? (25 years!)
      
      
      1. What stage of "faith" has Abraham now reached? (He is at the edge of simply ignoring God. He laughs at the promise because it seemingly had no value.)
         
         
      2. What do failed promises do to a marriage?
         
         
      3. Why would God wait so long? What purpose does a 25+ year delay serve? (This is one of those areas in which it is difficult (at least for me) to understand the mind of God. A son, Isaac, was born to them. Isaac's name means "to laugh," and thus he was a perpetual reminder to Abraham and Sarah (who also laughed in derision (Genesis 18:10-12) of the reliability (if not speed) of God's promises to them.)
         
         
         1. Read Hebrews 11:12. Does the fact that God waited until this couple was "as good as dead" to give them the promised child help explain the wait? (This is a recurring pattern in God's dealings with humans. He waits until it is impossible, and then He does the impossible - so that no one is confused about God's role in the matter.)
            
            
   5. Read Genesis 17:18-21. What does God do here to make the promise more real? (He actually names the son Abraham and Sarah will have and gives a specific time period.)
      
      
2. The Work
   
   
   1. Read Genesis 16:1-2. Abraham was 85, so this was ten years after God's promise of a son, and fifteen years before Isaac would be born. What do you think about Sarah's statement that "The Lord has kept me from having children?" (At first blush, this seems completely at odds with God's promise. But, go back and reconsider the promises that God has made to Abraham so far. God does not mention who will be the mother - He only mentions Abraham as the father!)
      
      
      1. Considering that Sarah has not been named as the mother, in what kind of light does this put her offer? (Since God has kept her (or so it seems to her) from fulfilling His promise, "perhaps" God has in mind some other woman to fulfill the promise. Sarah seems to be unselfish, impatient, and willing to help God.)
         
         
      2. Read Proverbs 3:5-6. How does Sarah's suggestion run afoul of this proverb? (The Bible commentary "Be Obedient" says "faith is living without scheming." The pattern of God is that He works with human partners to fulfill His work on earth. The line between being "God's helper" and "scheming" is not always a real bright line.)
         
         
   2. Re-read Genesis 16:2. Recall that last week Adam listened to Eve and ate the fruit. What lesson do we see repeated here? (Listening to your wife's advice may be is contrary to God's will and harmful to your spiritual health.)
      
      
      1. Let's take a small detour right here. Read Genesis 12:10-20. Whose great idea was it to lie to Pharaoh? (Abrahams!)
         
         
      2. What lesson do we learn for our marriages from the advice given by these two? (Our spouse is our helper and our closest human friend. But, that does not mean we should turn off our brain when they offer advice. We need to be sure our decisions are consistent with the advice of our closest heavenly Friend!)
         
         
   3. Read Genesis 16:3-4a. At this point are Abraham and Sarah congratulating themselves on doing God's will? (Sarah's advice worked. No doubt during the "praise and prayer" time in church they would have stood up and told how they partnered with God to have this wonderful child.)
      
      
   4. Read Genesis 16:4-5. What has happened to Sarah's unselfish attitude?
      
      
      1. Is Sarah right? Is Abraham responsible for "the wrong" Sarah was suffering?
         
         
      2. How would you anticipate that God would judge between the two of them?
         
         
   5. Read Genesis 16:6. Evaluate the actions of this couple now? (Abraham deserts his leadership position. Sarah abuses Hagar. Neither spouse is acting like a follower of God.)
      
      
   6. Read Romans 4:18-21. Is this how you would have described this sequence of events?
      
      
      1. How do you explain Paul's statement? (The New Bible Commentary says Paul's point is "not that Abraham was a perfect person or never had any doubts at all, but that his heart attitude was consistently one of faith and hope in the promise of God.")
         
         
3. The Promise Fulfilled
   
   
   1. Read Genesis 21:1-3. The text is about the birth of Isaac. But, what other fact keeps being repeated in these verses? (That God kept His promise!)
      
      
      1. What does that teach us about trusting God? (God's timetable may be much different than ours. However, God keeps his promises.)
         
         
      2. What does this teach us about marriage? (Remain faithful to your spouse and your God. It may seem difficult, but the alternatives are worse.)
         
         
   2. Read Genesis 21:6-7. What kind of attitude does Sarah have? (She feels vindicated. Against all odds, she finally has a son.)
      
      
4. Tested Again
   
   
   1. Read Genesis 21:8-10. What kind of attitude do we see in:
      
      
      1. Ishmael? (Ishmael was jealous and mocked Isaac. I'm not surprised.)
         
         
      2. Sarah? (Now that she has a son, she will let no one "steal his thunder" or get in his way.)
         
         
   2. Genesis 21:10 contains more advice from Sarah. Would you take it if you were Abraham?
      
      
   3. Read Genesis 21:11-13. How does it feel to be Abraham right now?
      
      
      1. Do you think he wishes that he never had Ishmael?
         
         
      2. God, amazingly, supports Sarah's demands. What does God say to Abraham to comfort him? (That Ishmael will live and be a great nation.)
         
         
   4. Read Genesis 22:1-2. Put yourself in Abraham's place. What impact does the fate of Ishmael have on your thinking? (This is where Abraham's name is entitled to be chiseled in stone in the "faith chapter" (Hebrews 11). I would have been very worried because God let Ishmael go. I had the heartbreak of that! Now this command!)
      
      
      1. Read Hebrews 11:17-19. How did Abraham work this out in his mind? (That God would raise Isaac to life.)
         
         
   5. Friend, sometimes our spouse gives us good advice. Sometimes not. Our heavenly Father is always with us - even when it seems He is not. Will you trust Him?
      
      
5. Next week: Isaac and Rebekah: Rearing Rivals.

Introduction: How do you find a spouse? How do you know when it is the right person? Once you are married, what basic rules should you follow? The story of finding a spouse for Isaac recounts another time and another culture. But, there are important lessons we can learn for today. Let's jump right into our lesson and see what we can learn!

1. Finding a Wife
   
   
   1. Read Genesis 24:1-4. Isaac should be about 45 years old right now. Would you guess that he had noticed potential wives among the Canaanites?
      
      
      1. Why did Abraham reject them? (They were not followers of God.)
         
         
      2. What does it say about Abraham, Isaac and Eliezer, that Abraham consults with Eliezer about finding Isaac a wife, and Isaac goes along with this? (Eliezer has been running Abraham's household for decades. He is apparently a very competent, intelligent and wise man who follows God. Isaac has a history of trusting his father's judgment. (See Genesis 22, where Isaac has been willing to be sacrificed by his father.))
         
         
         1. What lessons do we learn from this about marriage for today? (Two things. First, it is important to seek to marry someone with a compatible religious background. Second, when seeking a mate, you should pay close attention to the views of those who are mature and wise followers of God. Taking counsel is critical.)
            
            
   2. Read Genesis 24:10-14. On what does Eliezer depend to obtain the right wife? (He did the reasonable things - like bringing gifts. But, primarily he prayed that God would lead him to the right woman.)
      
      
      1. What lesson do we learn for today about how to find the right spouse? (Gifts and the normal aspects of courting are important. But, the most important thing is to seek God's guidance in finding the right spouse. I have been praying for many years that God would lead my children to the right spouse. This week, my son Blake (who is my partner in putting this lesson on the Internet), is getting married to a girl who is clearly the answer to my prayers. Are you praying for God's guidance for the marriage of your children?)
         
         
      2. What do you think about the "test" that Eliezer sets up to determine God's leading in this? (Eliezer is looking for someone who is gracious, considerate and hard-working. Seems like an intelligent approach.)
         
         
   3. Read Genesis 24:15-19. What do you think about God's response to the prayer of Eliezer? (God answers immediately! Not only that, He provides a woman who not only fits the requirements of Eliezer's test, but she is also very beautiful!)
      
      
   4. Eliezer explains to the father and brother of Rebekah his mission, the "family stock," the wealth of Abraham and Isaac, and the Lord's guidance in selecting Rebekah. Read Genesis 24:50-51. What does the reaction of the father and brother tell you about them? (That they were also followers of God and believed in His divine leading in the affairs of His followers. There is some debate about whether this is Bethuel the father of Rebekah, or whether the father has died and this is a son who bears his name. In any event, the appropriate "authorities" in the family give their consent.)
      
      
      1. Read Genesis 24:55-58. What is Rebekah's view of this arranged marriage? (She seems to agree because she is willing to go right away.)
         
         
         1. Is Rebekah loved by her family? (It seems yes - for they want a few days to say goodbye.)
            
            
         2. Why would you guess Rebekah is so willing to go right away? (I think she is excited about this new life and this new adventure and she is ready to go! Perhaps hanging around for additional time would only prolong the sadness of leaving.)
            
            
   5. Read Genesis 24:59-60. They prayed for a blessing for Rebekah. Do you see any significance in this prayer? (It suggests that Eliezer explained the promise of God to make Abraham a "great nation.")
      
      
2. The Marriage
   
   
   1. Read Genesis 24:61. Was Rebekah poor? (Her family had money because she has more than one maid.)
      
      
   2. Read Genesis 24:62-63. I think there is a lot of meaning in these two verses. Is Isaac living at home? (He is not living with his father. This suggests that he is setting up his own place to get ready for his new wife.)
      
      
      1. Why does Isaac return to his father's place? (My bet is that he has carefully calculated the time, distance and camel speed, and figures his new wife may show up about now. So, he wants to be present for the big occasion.)
         
         
      2. Isaac went out to "meditate." I thought this might mean pray, but that does not seem to be the case. It means "pensively muse." What would you guess he is musing about? (The new wife, of course!)
         
         
         1. Is his musing rewarded? (Yes. I recall when my parents were alive and they would drive to visit us. A visit was pretty rare, so I would stand outside my home, or start walking down the sidewalk to see them coming. Isaac sees the camels in the distance and his hopes start to rise.)
            
            
   3. Read Genesis 24:64-65. There is an old song I like, "Some enchanted evening, you will see a stranger, you will see a stranger, across a crowded room. And somehow you'll know, you'll know even then, you'll see that stranger again and again." These two see each other across an uncrowded field. I love the mental picture.
      
      
      1. Why does Rebekah get down from her camel to ask Eliezer to confirm Isaac's identity? (Would it be refined to start shouting, "Eliezer, is that the guy?" Since she suspects this is Isaac, it would be impolite to remain seated on the camel when he is walking. Sort of the reverse of standing up when a woman arrives.)
         
         
         1. What good news does Rebekah get when seeing Isaac? (He is interested in her coming. He is not off on a hunting trip or a sheep-shearing adventure. He is waiting.)
            
            
      2. Why did she cover herself with her veil. Was this a custom for Hebrew women? (No, it was not. Consider Genesis 12:14 and Genesis 24:16. Different commentaries have different answers. One suggested a Hebrew woman would wear a veil at the time of her wedding, thus explaining how (later) the son of Isaac and Rebekah could marry the wrong woman and not know it. Another said a betrothed woman remained veiled until the marriage. Another said the veil was a token of "reverence and subjection" to her husband. I'm sure Isaac had gotten a look at her face when she was up on the camel - since his eyesight was probably better than Eliezer's and Eliezer recognized him. So, she lets Isaac see her beauty, then covers it up to await the wedding. I love this story.)
         
         
   4. Read Genesis 24:66-67. God guided the work of Eliezer in selecting a wife for Isaac - just as Eliezer requested. How did Eliezer's faithfulness in partnering with God work out? (Good work. Isaac loved Rebekah. Notice the reversal of the order of modern marriages: "so she became his wife and he loved her.")
      
      
      1. Do you understand how Isaac's marriage could comfort him with the loss of his mother? (My son and my daughter were born before my father died. That helped to cushion the loss. No doubt, Sarah's death helped trigger Abraham's decision to get moving on getting a son for Isaac. Abraham wanted to have this taken care of before he died.)
         
         
3. Children
   
   
   1. Read Genesis 25:20-21. What kind of problem did Rebekah have that sounded a familiar family theme? (She also had no children - like Sarah.)
      
      
      1. How did Isaac handle this? Compare his actions with that of his father? (Isaac turned to God instead of turning to scheming.)
         
         
   2. Read Genesis 25:22-23. Where does Rebekah go to have her questions answered? (She goes to God!. This is a godly couple!)
      
      
      1. What does she learn that is contrary to the normal order of things? (The older will serve the younger.)

1. Read Genesis 25:27-28. The story so far of the marriage of Isaac and Rebekah sounds perfect. What problem creeps into the marriage? (They have preferences among their children.)
   
   
   1. If you are reading this you once were a child. Unless you were an only child, what does favoritism do to a family? (My parents suffered from favoritism when they were growing up. They determined never to show any favoritism when they were parents.)
      
      
   2. The Bible gives food as a basis for Isaac's preference for Esau. Do you see any other reason? (Esau is the man of adventure. He is not hanging around the tents!)
      
      
2. Read Genesis 25:29-34. What does this reveal about the characters of Esau and Jacob? (It doesn't say anything good about either of them.)
   
   
3. Our story goes down hill from here. Genesis 27 describes how Rebekah and Jacob conspire to deceive Isaac in his old age and deprive Esau of the birthright. Why would Rebekah feel justified in this deceit? (Remember, prior to their birth, God's prediction in Genesis 25:23 that Esau would serve Jacob.)
   
   
   1. Because of this deceit, Jacob is forced to flee from his home. He never sees his father or mother alive again.
      
      
4. Friend, how wonderful things were when Isaac and Rebekah depended upon God. When their lives turned to favoritism and then deceit, it tore the family apart. Will you determine to live in accord with God's rules?
   
   
1. Next week: Jacob and Rachel: Labor of Love.

Introduction: Last week, we left our story with everything going downhill. Jacob and his mother conspired to have Jacob receive the birthright through deception. This so angers the older brother, Esau, that Jacob flees from his home to avoid being murdered by Esau for defrauding him of the birthright. Jacob's cover story for his flight is that he is going to find a wife. Let's dive into our study and see what Jacob finds!

1. Jacob Arrives
   
   
   1. Genesis 29 records that Jacob runs to the area in which his mother's family lives and he finds a young beauty named Rachel. Rachel is the daughter of his uncle Laban (Jacob's mother's brother). Let's pick up the story by reading Genesis 29:10-13. Why do you think Jacob weeps when he meets Rachel? Does this make him appear to be "husband material?"(Jacob has a lot of stress over his fraud, the threat to his life, leaving home and hoping to be able to find his relatives. He has now found his relatives and their warm greeting is a huge relief.)
      
      
   2. Read Genesis 29:14-15. Based on Laban's statement, what kind of man would you judge him to be? (He sounds very fair and honest. He will not take advantage of a relative.)
      
      
      1. Look closer. Is it appropriate to treat your nephew like an ordinary servant?
         
         
   3. Read Genesis 29:16-18. How long did it take for Jacob to fall in love with Rachel? (A month!)
      
      
      1. Why did Jacob fall for Rachel? (She had a great body and a beautiful face.)
         
         
         1. Why do you think the Bible mentions this?
            
            
         2. Is this an appropriate basis on which to fall in love?
            
            
      2. What do you think of the "deal" which Jacob offered Laban?
         
         
         1. Read Genesis 31:14-15. What did Rachel and Leah think of the "deal?"
            
            
         2. Read Genesis 29:19. What did Laban think of the "deal?"
            
            
         3. What is unusual about this marriage? (Jacob arranged it, not his parents.)
            
            
2. The Marriages
   
   
   1. Read Genesis 29:20-25. What about this reminds you of Jacob's past life? (He fooled his father by substituting himself for his sibling. Laban now fools him by substituting a sibling.)
      
      
      1. Were Leah and Rachel part of this fraud?
         
         
   2. Read Genesis 29:26. What do you think of Laban's legal defense?
      
      
      1. What would you have said in response if you were Jacob? (I've been here seven years and you never disclosed your "custom" to me or mentioned that it made our contract impossible.)
         
         
   3. Read Genesis 29:27-29. What kind of wedding feast is given to Rachel? (It seems she got none.)
      
      
   4. Consider the impact of Laban's fraud:
      
      
      1. On Rachel;
         
         
      2. On Leah; and,
         
         
      3. On Jacob.
         
         
   5. What is God's view of all of this? (Read Leviticus 18:18.)
      
      
      1. What does this text suggest is the problem? (Rivalry!)
         
         
   6. What kind of a guy is Laban? (He thinks only of himself.)
      
      
      1. Can you put together a justification for Laban's actions? (Arranged marriages were probably normal. Jacob plans to marry for love, but Laban decides to "arrange" a marriage for him. He is going to give Jacob what he wants, but he will squeeze a little more work out of him (because Leah is worth it). If daughters are like possessions, you cannot be too concerned about their feelings.)
         
         
      2. What does this teach us about the relative merit of arranged marriages? (Contrary to expectations, parents can be as "bone-headed" as children in choosing a mate. The best marriages are those in which the parents and the children are praying for God's leading in finding a spouse.)
         
         
   7. What would have happened if Jacob had not chosen Rachel based on her looks and her body? What would have happened if Jacob had just accepted Laban's decision and he had not married Rachel?
      
      
3. Married Life with Rival Wives
   
   
   1. Read Genesis 29:30-35. What kind of attitude does Leah have about her situation?
      
      
      1. What has God done that Jacob should have done? (God is trying to make the situation more just. To help Leah to be loved.)
         
         
   2. Read Genesis 30:1-2. Beautiful body, beautiful face, what kind of personality does Rachel possess?
   3. Read Genesis 30:3-6. Do you think God vindicated Rachel? (Rachel vindicated Rachel.)

1. What should she have done? (Review Genesis 28:13-14; Genesis 25:21; Genesis 16:1-2. Both Jacob and Rachel are forgetting history. God made promises to Jacob about his descendants. Jacob should have followed the good example of his father and mother rather than the poor example of Abraham and Sarah.)
   
   
1. Read Genesis 30:14-18. Mandrakes, which look like little yellow apples, were considered to be a fertility drug. What does this little story reveal about the relationship between the two women?
   
   
   1. Had God rewarded Leah? (We need to be careful what we attribute to God.)
      
      
2. Read Genesis 30:22-24. Is Rachel satisfied? (She wants more sons.)
   
   
1. Work Life
   
   
   1. Read Genesis 30:25-28. Is Jacob ready to quit? (His 14 years of service are at an end.)
      
      
      1. Why does Laban want Jacob to stay? Is he concerned about losing his daughters and their children?
         
         
      2. Does Laban sound generous? (Yes: "Name your wages and I will pay them!")
         
         
   2. Read Genesis 30:29-34. Describe the "deal" for Jacob's wages and tell me what you think about it? (Several commentaries say that oriental sheep were normally white and the goats normally black or brown. Jacob was asking for the few rejects.)
      
      
   3. Read Genesis 30:35-36. What does "Mr. Honesty" do to ensure that Jacob gets the wages promised to him? (Laban removes all of the animals that should belong to Jacob and he separates them from the rest of the flock tended by Jacob so that when they reproduce, they will be owned by Laban.)
      
      
      1. In Genesis 30:27 we learned that Laban believed he had been blessed because of the presence of Jacob. How do you think he justified this most recent fraud?
         
         
   4. Read Genesis 30:37-43. Do you agree with Genesis 30:43? Did Jacob become wealthy because of his ingenious plan to show the flocks pieces of wood which looked something like the offspring they should have? (Pregnant women: be sure to look only at handsome men and beautiful women!)
      
      
      1. What is wrong with Jacob's plan? (He has a scheme instead of trusting God.)
         
         
   5. Let's skip ahead for a moment. Read Genesis 31:10-12. What does this reveal was God's part in this plan? (God revealed to Jacob his "business plan.")
      
      
      1. Is there a lesson in this for us?
         
         
   6. Jacob finally leaves Laban to return home. Let's look at the pledge that Laban asks Jacob to make. Read Genesis 31:48-50. What does this teach us about Laban - that he is a caring father? (The Bible reveals only that Laban was the abuser of his daughters. He caused the "extra" wife and that act set in motion all sorts of strife. The Bible does not reveal that Jacob abused his wives. Accusing someone else of your sins and weaknesses is nothing new.)
      
      
   7. Friend, sometimes marriage is not perfect because of factors which are out of our control - such as Laban's fraud on Jacob. Sometimes, the problems in a marriage reflect mistakes in judgment that we made in the beginning. Jacob was deceived just like he deceived his father regarding the birthright. Whatever the source of the problem in our marriage, we need to become partners with God to minimize the problem. Will you make that your goal?
      
      
2. Next week: Moses and Zipporah: Relating with Relations.

Copr. 2007, Bruce N. Cameron, J.D. All scripture references are to the New International Version (NIV), copr. 1973, 1978, 1984 International Bible Society, unless otherwise noted. Quotations from the NIV are used by permission of Zondervan Bible Publishers. Suggested answers are found within parentheses.

Introduction: You know the background story for Moses: he was born in Egypt as a Hebrew slave. Worse than that, Pharaoh decreed that he, like all Hebrew baby boys, was to be drown in the Nile river. Moses' mother put him in the Nile, but had him in a little floating basket. Pharaoh's daughter found Moses in his little basket, decided to adopt him as her own, and Moses grew to manhood as the son of Pharaoh's daughter. Let's dive right in to learn more about Moses and his marriage!

Flight

Should this be your standard for conduct - whether anyone will find out?

What are his thoughts about his own people? (They are ungrateful for what he has done.)

What are his thoughts about his adopted people? (That he has betrayed them and violated one of the fundamental rules.)

If Moses had not been a Hebrew, do you think killing the Egyptian would have mattered? (I'm not sure how strong the "rule of law" was in Egypt. My guess is that this would not normally be a problem - royalty killing a slave - considering the death decree for Hebrew baby boys. The problem here was that this showed that Moses was disloyal to Egypt and had loyalties to the slave nation. Obviously, that would be a problem for a future leader of Egypt.)

Last week we discussed Jacob's emotions when he found Rachel, the daughter of Laban. How would you compare Moses' emotional state?

What is the modern equivalent of the well for meeting women? The grocery store? The gas station? The bar? The pet park? The Laundromat? (Now we know why it is not so easy to meet women these days - working and watering have been separated. Guess that leaves the water fountain in the office.)

Marriage

How would you evaluate Moses' chances for success in his marriage to Zipporah? What factors do you think are important to consider. (She has a different religious background. She has a different cultural background. She has a different racial background. She has a different economic background - although the differences might not be a significant as it seems. A Commentary, Critical and Explanatory, on the Old and New Testaments, says that "priest of Midian" could also be understood as "prince of Midian" - and the offices were generally joined. Thus, this commentary considers him the ruler of the Cushites. My belief is that the more differences in the backgrounds of a couple, the more difficult it is to "become one." These two have nothing in common.)

What reason does Moses give to his father-in-law for going to Egypt? (Sort of an inspection tour - to see if any of his old friends are still alive. Class reunion kind of thing. Very innocuous.)

What is Moses' real reason for going? (Read Exodus 3:9-11. He is going, at the command of God, to confront Pharaoh and convince him to free the Hebrew slaves.)

Is Moses just being modest? Why does he so seriously misstate to "dad" the reason for his trip?

What would logically account for Zipporah calling Moses a "bridegroom of blood?" (The Bible does not say, but I imagine Zipporah would be against circumcising her sons. Who wants to start carving on their child? She indicates here her feelings about the rite. My bet is that this has been a source of friction between the two of them. Moses has deferred to his wife. But, now that he is gravely ill, he is convicted of his obligation, but is too weak to perform the rite. He tells Zipporah of his conviction about the nature of his illness - so she reluctantly performs the rite to save her husband's life. She is not happy about having to do it - and says so.)

How has Moses' faithfulness to God affected the spiritual life of Jethro Rueul?

How has Moses' relationship to God affected the spiritual life of Zipporah?(It is not clear whether Jethro and Zipporah have ended their relationship with all other gods, but they clearly are convinced about Moses' God - that He is greater than all others.)

Friend, if you are married to someone who is not a believer, your faithfulness to God may well convert the heart of your spouse and your in-laws. It is better not to marry outside your faith, but do not let that be an excuse for losing your faith. Use it as an opportunity to convert your family.

Next week: Sampson and His Women: The Folly of Passion.

Introduction: Have you or your children made some bad decisions in marriage? Have you wondered if the way you raised your children contributed to problems in their marriages? Is "anger management" a problem in your marriage? This week we look at early life of Sampson and his "marriage" to discover how God can work through our bad decisions. Let's dive right into our story!

1. The Promise
   
   
   1. Read Judges 13:2-5. Imagine the excitement of Manoah's wife! What does God ask her to do and why? (He tells her that she must raise her coming son as a Nazirite because he "will begin the deliverance of Israel from the hands of the Philistines.")
      
      
      1. How proud would you be if an angel said this about your son?
         
         
      2. If the son is to be raised as a Nazirite, why does this involve Mom not drinking alcohol or eating anything unclean? She is not the one taking the vow! (This is a strong argument against abortion. God considers this son a Nazirite from the moment of conception. He tells the mother not to drink or eat anything inconsistent with the Nazirite vow so she will not be passing it along to her newly conceived child.)
         
         
   2. Read Judges 13:6. Why didn't the wife ask the angel for his credentials? (I'll bet you understand. She was overwhelmed by the moment. She is wishing she had asked to bolster the credibility of her story.)
      
      
   3. Read Judges 13:7-8. What did these parents want to know?
      
      
      1. What instructions had the wife been given about how to bring up their son? (Judges 13:5 - don't cut his hair - as part of the Nazirite vow. For more information about taking the Nazirite vow read Numbers 6:1-21. The instructions were a little thin.)
         
         
   4. Read Judges 13:9-14. What grade would you give the angel's answer?
      
      
      1. Is there more here than meets the eye? Can we conclude from this apparently non-responsive answer that the righteousness of the mother is incredibly important in the raising of righteous children? (Consider in this regard the angel's conversation with Mary: Luke 1:28-33.)
         
         
      2. How qualified do these parents feel to raise a special child?
         
         
         1. How qualified do you think they are? (They have the right attitude: they want to do it right!)
            
            
2. The Son and His Wife
   
   
   1. Read Judges 13:24-14:2. How would you react if you were Sampson's parents? (He is supposed to be "set apart to God," he is supposed to deliver "Israel from the hands of the Philistines." He is not supposed to be taking the hand of a Philistine in marriage!)
      
      
      1. Is this how arranged marriages are supposed to work? (Marriages were supposed to be negotiated by the parents. But, I feel confident that it was the parents who generally made the "executive decision," not the child.)
         
         
      2. What kind of picture are we getting of Sampson? (A mixed picture. The Holy Spirit is working in him. At the same time, he improperly treats his parents and his mission in life.)
         
         
      3. What do you think about Sampson's judgment about women? (The text says he merely "saw" her - this seems totally based on her appearance.)
         
         
   2. Read Judges 14:3. Was this marriage acceptable to Sampson's parents? (Read Deuteronomy 7:1-3. One commentary suggested, based on this text, that it was not "unlawful" to marry a Philistine. On the other hand, Exodus 34:16 says not to give your son a wife who will lead him to worship other gods. How could Sampson deliver his people from a group that was about to become part of the "family?")
      
      
   3. Read Judges 14:4. How do you explain this "behind the scenes" comment? Is it really God's will to violate His rules about marriage? Would God select a spouse just to create a fight? (This is an example of God working with our bad decisions to further his cause. Sampson should have been leading the fight to throw off the yoke of the Philistines (Judges 13:5). Instead, he is hanging around them and ogling their women. God uses Sampson's poor choices because to further His cause.)
      
      
   4. Read Judges 14:5-7. What does this confirm about Sampson's basis for picking this woman to be his wife? (He had not even spoken with her before.)
      
      
      1. Who enabled Sampson to defeat the lion? ("The Spirit of the Lord." This opens my eyes. For some reason, I generally think that angels give us physical protection and the Holy Spirit gives us understanding of God's will. With this division of duties, when I pray to God for help with legal arguments, who should I ask for? This shows the Holy Spirit is not limited to being the "Comforter," and a "revealer." The third-person of the God-head is a "lion-killer" too!)
         
         
   5. Read Judges 14:8-9. This account tells us more than meets the eye. Is this as simple as eating a candy bar? (No! Remember, Sampson is supposed to be a Nazirite and they (Numbers 6:6) "must not go near a dead body." This clearly shows that Sampson is very lax obeying God.)
      
      
   6. Sampson, as the groom, fulfills his feast obligations. The wedding week begins and Sampson challenges his 30 Philistine companions. Read Judges 14:12-14. Do you know the answer?
      
      
   7. Read Judges 14:15-17. The Philistines are obviously "nice people." Do you blame Sampson's new wife for her actions? What would you have done if you were Sampson's wife?
      
      
      1. The marriage starts out terribly. What is the root cause of the problem in their marriage? (Marrying someone outside of God's people.)
         
         
   8. Read Judges 14:18-19. What does Sampson mean when he says, "If you had not plowed with my heifer?" (They used his wife unfairly to learn the answer to the riddle.)
      
      
      1. Since Sampson realizes they have acted unfairly, why does he pay them? (Perhaps he is still concerned about the threat to his wife.)
         
         
      2. With whom is Sampson angry? (Most likely his wife. If he were angry with the 30 guys, then he could have killed them, instead of killing the Philistines from Ashkelon.)
         
         
   9. Read Judges 14:20. Sampson's parents were not wild about this marriage. What attitude do the girl's parents seem to have about it? (The father gives her in marriage to one of the 30 Philistines to be his wife!)
      
      
      1. Surely the father realizes that Sampson has been treated unfairly by his daughter and the 30 Philistines. Why would he make the problem permanent by marrying his daughter to someone else?
         
         
   10. Read Judges 15:1-2. Why do you think the "father-in-law" offers another daughter to Sampson?
       
       
   11. Read Judges 15:3-5. Think about what has happened. Is it "fair" for Sampson to attack the crops of the Philistines? Who is really the source of his grievance? (His "father-in-law.")
       
       
       1. Why would he attack the crops in this fashion? (I think he has a perverted sense of "fun." PETA would not be happy. Of course, neither were the Philistines as we will see.)
          
          
   12. Read Judges 15:6. Sampson might not have been able to pinpoint the source of his problem, but the Philistines could. What does this teach us about the character of the Philistines and why God had decided to execute judgment on them?
       
       
3. Lost Opportunities
   
   
   1. Judges 15 records that Sampson retaliated, the Philistines responded, and Sampson ended up killing 1,000 Philistines. Israel made Sampson its leader, but he continued to be attracted to the wrong kind of women. In the end, Sampson's weakness for women, his failure to follow God's law, causes him to be captured by the Philistines. Let's pick up the story in Judges 16:21. How has life ended up for Sampson?
      
      
      1. Why would they blind him? (No doubt to make him less dangerous. Consider that the "lust of the eyes" has led him to where he is now. He loses his eyes.)

1. Read Judges 16:23-30. Sampson ends up being a "suicide warrior." He is more successful in death than in life. What a lost opportunity! What would you say was the central weakness in Sampson's life which brought him to this low point?
   
   
2. Friend, Sampson stands as an object lesson for being faithful to God's commands when it comes to sexual desires. Will you determine to follow God and not end up like Sampson?
   
   
1. Next week: Boaz and Ruth: Firm Foundations.

Introduction: Sometimes life treats you harshly. At those times, you wonder where God is? Why has He let such terrible things happen to me? This week we look at women whose lives are torn apart by the death of their spouse. Will remaining faithful to God pay off? Will grit and determination help? Let's dive into our lesson and find out!

1. Disaster
   
   
   1. Read Ruth 1:1-5. This was a terrible time in which to live. There was no government in Israel(Judges 17:6), people did whatever they wanted. Apparently, there was also no rain, so Elimelech decided to take his little family to another country where they had food. What do you think of Elimelech's decision? (It put the physical above the spiritual. Although Israel was not following God the way it should, the god of Moab was Chemosh.)
      
      
      1. Was it wrong for Mahlon and Kilion to marry Moabite women? (It was not specifically prohibited (Deuteronomy 7:1-3), but it was not a good idea because they worshiped other gods.)
         
         
      2. Has the move improved Naomi's situation? (It turns out that the husband's attempt to improve the welfare of his family actually makes things worse.)
         
         
   2. Naomi hears that the famine has ended in Israel, so she decides to return home. Read Ruth 1:8-13. What kind of women is Naomi? (She is bitter towards God, but she is unselfish towards her daughter-in-laws. They have been good wives to her sons and she is looking out for their future.)
      
      
   3. Read Ruth 1:14-15. Orpah is convinced by Naomi about the best course for her future, but Ruth decides to stay. What is Naomi's spiritual state right now? (She is in rebellion against God. In her opinion, God has harmed her, not helped her. Thus, she recommends that Orpah and Ruth return to their "people and [their] gods.")
      
      
      1. Has Naomi always been like this - rebellious towards God? (Read Ruth 1:16-18. Elimelech's family converted Ruth to serve the true God. Although Ruth has lost her husband, she does not have this rebellious attitude towards God. Instead, Ruth shows her strong character by disregarding the "practical advice" for her future and instead remaining faithful to Naomi and the God of Israel. Naomi must have held on to some faith because Ruth refers to "your God.")
         
         
2. God's Blessings on Ruth
   
   
   1. Read Ruth 2:1-4. What do we learn about Boaz? (He is a relative of Elimelech, he is prominent in the community, he is a land-owner and farmer, he is Godly and has a good relationship with his workers.)
      
      
      1. What additional fact do we learn about Ruth? (She is not lazy.)
         
         
      2. Notice that Ruth 2:3 says "as it turned out, she found herself working in a field belonging to Boaz." It sounds like this was mere chance. Is that how you see it? (God is leading the actions of this industrious young lady!)
         
         
   2. Read Ruth 2:5-7. Ruth catches the eye of Boaz. What recommendation does the foreman give her? (He says three important things. First, he tells Boaz that she is a relative (or at least with one of his relatives). Second, that she asked permission to "glean" (which was her right under Leviticus 23:22). Third, she is a hard worker.)
      
      
      1. What do you think Boaz may have previously heard about "the Moabitess who came back from Moab with Naomi?" (Naomi had a very sad story. The one bright spot in her situation was this young woman from Moab who not only left her own country to help Naomi, she converted to the God of Israel. I'll bet the people had a favorable opinion of Ruth.)
         
         
   3. Read Ruth 2:8-10. Ruth has the same question I have, why is Boaz being so kind to her? It is one thing to let her glean - which is her right - it is another thing to tell her to glean only on his property, promise his personal protection, and make her a part of the "household." Why? (Read Ruth 2:11-12. It turns out I was right about her reputation. Boaz had already formed a high opinion of her, so when she "happened" to show up in his fields, he was anxious to help her.)
      
      
      1. Instead of wishing her a "rich reward by the Lord," why didn't Boaz just give her that rich reward?
         
         
   4. Read Ruth 2:13. What do you think of this answer? What if she had said, "You are right, I am doing a lot for Naomi! This gleaning stuff has cramped my style. You are rich, how about helping me a bit more? I deserve the help. You can afford it."
      
      
   5. Read Ruth 2:14-16. Aside from feeding her, what do you think Boaz is trying to do for Ruth? (He wants her to feel accepted and be accepted by his employees. He does not want her to be embarrassed because she is gleaning. He views her as a special person. A person who, if circumstances were different, would not be gleaning.)
      
      
      1. What principles about helping the poor do we find in our story so far? (Boaz did not just give Ruth money or food - although he could afford it. Following God's plan of gleaning, the poor had to work for their food. On the other hand, Boaz realizes Ruth's unfortunate circumstances and takes steps to both keep her from embarrassment, keep her safe, and make her food collection a little easier.)
         
         
   6. Read Ruth 2:17-18. What traits of character do we see in Ruth? (We see again that she is hard-working. We also find she is generous.)
      
      
3. Boaz and Ruth

1. Read Ruth 2:19-20. Our story introduces a new fact. Boaz is "one of our kinsman-redeemers." What is that? (Let's read some texts: Leviticus 25:25; Leviticus 25:47-49; and, Deuteronomy 25:5-10. Family was important in Israel. This idea of one family member "redeeming" someone who had fallen on hard times was written into the law. It even extended to the "Levirate law" in which a brother of a deceased man would marry his widow in order to have a son to continue on the name of the deceased. Ruth and Naomi, had not only fallen on very hard financial times, they had both lost their husbands.)
   
   
   1. What other principles about helping the poor have we learned in these texts? (The family has a primary responsibility.)
      
      
2. Read Ruth 3:1-4. You recall that Naomi argued that Ruth should stay with her people so that she could find a husband. What is Naomi up to now? Is she trying to have Ruth seduce Boaz? (No. Naomi is doing "her job" as a parent to arrange a marriage for Ruth. Boaz has made no move to marry (redeem) Ruth, so Naomi is going to help move things along by getting the girl cleaned up and having her lay by Boaz when he is sleeping. The smell of her perfume should waft over to snoring Boaz and he may start dreaming of marriage. When his feet get cold he would wake up and there Ruth would be - looking and smelling good! Let's see how this plan works!)
   
   
3. Read Ruth 3:5-9. Let's compare notes a bit. Naomi told Ruth (Ruth 3:4) that when Boaz awoke "he will tell you what to do." Who is telling whom what to do in Ruth 3:9? (Ruth is telling Boaz that she wants him to redeem (marry) her! So much for waiting for him to have the idea.)
   
   
   1. What lessons do the single ladies learn about marriage? (Listen to you parents advice, wear nice clothes, be clean, smell good and be aggressive! Otherwise your Boaz might just snore along the rest of his life.)
      
      
   2. Are Ruth and Naomi taking this aggressive stance without any encouragement from Boaz?
      
      
4. Ruth has now put herself "on the line." She could be rejected, not simply as a wife, but as a gleaner. If Boaz does not want to marry her, he might not want her around to constantly remind him of what Naomi considers to be his duty. Read Ruth 3:10-13. It works! Has this idea already been in Boaz's mind? (Yes! He has already considered the problem of the closer relative.)
   
   
   1. What must Boaz do about this potential problem? (Boaz has to do a little "legal work" to get everything in order.)
      
      
5. Read Ruth 3:16-18. What is wise Naomi's assessment of the situation? (Boaz is going to try his best to make this work out.)
   
   
6. Read Ruth 4:1-6. How would you rate Boaz as a business negotiator? Does he mention which widow goes with the estate? Which is logical?
   
   
7. Read Ruth 4:9-10. Have the requirements of the law been met? (Yes.)

1. Read Ruth 4:13-16. How did Noami go from a woman unhappy with God to having a grandson who was the grandfather of King David? (It was a mix of things. A decision to return to God's people. The loyalty, commitment and hard work of Ruth. The law of God. God's hand in leading Ruth to the field of Boaz. Boaz's kindness. All of these good things working together created something very special for Boaz, Ruth, Naomi (and now, little Obed).)
   
   
2. Friend, when you follow God's rules, when you work hard and smart, God will remember you and bless you even when times seem very difficult.
   
   
1. Next week: Elkanah and Hannah: Fulfilling a Vow.

Introduction: How is your life right now? Is something missing that only God can supply? Are friends and family making life difficult? Is your spouse trying to be helpful, but does not really understand your needs? If you can say "yes" to any of these questions, this study is for you. If you are trying to help someone who is sad, this lesson may help. Let's jump right into our study of the Bible!

1. The Elkanah Family
   
   
   1. Read 1 Samuel 1:1-2. Knowing what you do about the Hebrew culture, tell me what feelings you would expect to find in a family like this? (The wife without children would feel inferior to the one with children. The husband would prefer the wife who bore him children (especially sons).)
      
      
   2. Let's skip ahead and read 1 Samuel 1:6-7. Would you have expected things to be this bad?
      
      
      1. We don't have the whole picture yet. What does this tell you about Peninnah, the wife who had children? (For some reason, she feels inferior so she wants to make life difficult for Hannah.)
         
         
      2. Would you say that Hannah was having an emotional breakdown?
         
         
   3. Read 1 Samuel 1:3-5. Why is Elkanah doing just the opposite of what we would expect? (This suggests Elkanah is a religious. I think that explains much of his conduct. The Bible tells us that he feels sympathy towards his wife because she does not have any children. He also loves Hannah. Thus, Elkanah wants to "make up" for Hannah's lack of children.)
      
      
   4. Now that we have the larger picture, tell me why Peninnah is feeling so hostile towards Hannah? (In her mind she deserves greater love and respect because she is the one who has all the children. Thus, she is being cheated of what is due to her. She will punish Hannah for this "unfair" situation.)
      
      
   5. Read 1 Samuel 1:8. Wives, tell me what you think about Elkanah as a husband? He asks what is wrong, does he know what is wrong? Is he doing a good job of comforting his wife, or is he a "bumbler?" (Guys like to be logical - and he thinks his love (and that double portion) should make everything right.)
      
      
      1. Why doesn't Elkanah's love and generosity make things right? (The issue is not him, it is her. He may be worth "ten sons," but she knows she is not. (She does not have even one.) Worse, she no doubt thinks that God shares Peninnah's opinion - she is unworthy.)
         
         
         1. Does Elkanah feel inadequate? (Yes. He cannot "fix" the problem. He thinks his love and logic should be enough to cure Hannah's sadness. It does not. Who enjoys a wife who is weeping and sad all the time? It must be partially his fault.)
            
            
   6. Step back a minute: what is the root problem in this family? (The root problem is having two wives. You do not want to introduce the spirit of rivalry in your marriage. Your spouse has to be number one - and know it.)
      
      
2. The Promise
   
   
   1. Read 1 Samuel 1:9-11. What do you think about Hannah's promise? Have you ever promised the Lord that if you won the lottery, you would pay off the church's debt?
      
      
      1. What is the significance of the "no razor" part of the promise? (Recall two weeks ago we discussed Samson and the Nazirite vow? Hannah is promising that if she has a son, he will be a Nazirite - one set apart for service to the Lord. See Numbers 6:1-8)
         
         
      2. Let's consider this just a moment: Hannah is promising to give God something she does not have and dedicate the life of someone else! What does Hannah give up here? How many of your promises to God are like that - you give me something and I will give you something I do not presently have? What about giving God something you do have?
         
         
      3. Who is watching Hannah pray? (Eli, the High Priest.)
         
         
   2. Read 1 Samuel 1:12-14. You have seen people who move their lips when they are reading silently, Hannah is moving her mouth when she is praying silently. What does this tell us about the nature of her prayer? (Generally, people who move their lips when they read are not good readers. Thus, they are concentrating on what they are reading and do not realize their lips are moving. Hannah is concentrating very deeply on her prayers and is paying no attention to how she looks.)
      
      
      1. What does Eli conclude? (That she is drunk.)
         
         
      2. What does this suggest about drunkenness around the temple? (It suggests that this was common enough that Eli would conclude a person was drunk instead of first considering that they were distressed!)
         
         
3. Eli
   
   
   1. Read 1 Samuel 1:15-17. What do you think about Eli's response? (He does not ask her any details about her problem, he just says: go in peace, may God grant what you have asked.)
      
      
      1. Is this the type of response you would expect from a man?
         
         
      2. Are there any reasons why this is a good response? (I do not register very high on the "considerate scale," but I would at least inquire about the nature of her problem. My reason for doing that would be to see if I could come up with some "smart idea" to "fix" the problem. The defect in that approach is that I am relying on myself to come up with a solution. Eli left the matter entirely to God.)
         
         
   2. Read 1 Samuel 1:18. How did your prediction compare with the results obtained? (Eli's remark must have been the right thing because Hannah is cheered.)
      
      
   3. Read 1 Samuel 2:12, 22-24. How would you rate Eli as a father? (He has the same "non-interventionist" approach to his sons as he did to Hannah. Long ago he should have actively intervened in the lives of his sons to require right behavior. If they did not behave, he should have banned them from serving in the temple.)
      
      
      1. Is it clearer now why Eli's first thought is that Hannah is drunk? (He was used to bad behavior around the temple because of the influence of his sons.)
         
         
   4. Read 1 Samuel 2:13-17. Are Eli's sons just immoral? Are they just "party guys?" Or, is there a deeper problem? (This text shows that they are abusing the worshipers at the temple. Thus, they are interfering with the worship service. The Bible Knowledge Commentary points out that when the sons had sex with "the women who served at the entrance" (1 Samuel 2:22), they were engaging in Canaanite worship practices. These guys were not just immoral, they were corrupting the temple worship system.)
      
      
4. Samuel
   
   
   1. Read 1 Samuel 1:19-22. Hannah's prayer to God and Eli's invocation of God's mercy result in God giving Hannah a son. Why did she not want to go to the temple and thank God for giving her this son? (It says that Samuel was not yet weaned, but I've got to believe that Hannah did not want to be reminded of her vow by revisiting the temple.)
      
      
      1. Notice that verse 21 says that Elkanah went to "fulfill his vow." What vow did he make? (A wife could not just promise to "give away a man's son." This suggests that Elkanah agreed completely with Hannah and entered into the same vow. He went back to the temple and confirmed that they were going to dedicate Samuel to God.)
         
         
   2. Read 1 Samuel 1:24-28. Hannah keeps her part of the bargain with God, reminds Eli of who she is, and drops little Samuel off to live at the temple. How do you think Eli reacted to this "drop-off?"
      
      
      1. Would you choose Eli to raise your son?
         
         
      2. These two questions that I just asked you - do you think they went through the mind of Hannah? (Hannah was faithful in keeping her vow to God. She could have said "Eli will forget or not want my son." She could have said, "Eli is unfit to 'parent' my son - look at how his sons turned out!" I think she thought those thoughts and rejected them.)
         
         
   3. Read 1 Samuel 2:18-21. How did this gift of Samuel turn out for Eli, Hannah and Elkanah? (Eli was happy, because he gave Samuel's parents a special blessing. Hannah and Elkanah had several more children. Samuel, I note, "grew up in the presence of the Lord." It seems that Eli has learned from his mistakes with his own sons.)
      
      
   4. Read 1 Samuel 2:26. What does this teach us about those who have been raised in less than a great environment? (Eli was old. His sons were a terrible influence. Yet the early training of Samuel by his mother, coupled with the presence of God in the temple, gave Samuel the opportunity to grow up in the right way. We are personally responsible for the choices that we make. Samuel had different examples set before him, he chose to follow the right example.)
      
      
   5. Friend, God came through for Hannah. He vindicated her, He answered her prayers in a favorable way, He "defeated" her enemies. In the scheme of things, Hannah was just one, relatively unimportant woman. However, her son Samuel turned out to be one of God's very best leaders. What a blessing it is when God can say "yes," to our personal prayers and at the same time use His answer to bless many others. Will trust God's answers, whatever they might be?
      
      
5. Next week: The Jobs: Living With Losses.

Introduction: Some things are hard to gauge. When I was dating I wanted to marry a girl who had religious beliefs and a religious zeal that was like mine. I remember one young lady I dated who was "on fire" for God. Her Sabbaths were a whirl of religious activities, from attending church, to attending other meetings to visiting nursing homes in the afternoon. I seemed to be her only "secular" activity! The level of fire in my religious life was not set that high - and that worried me. This week we study a couple who have the opposite temperature problem. He is cold when it comes to a relationship with God and she is ice. Let's dive in and find out more about who not to marry!

1. Ahab
   
   
   1. Read 1 Kings 16:28-30. What kind of guy was King Ahab?
      
      
   2. Read 1 Kings 16:25-26. Omri was the father of Ahab. Are you seeing a pattern here? (Each generation gets worse!)
      
      
   3. Read 1 Kings 16:31-32. Our lessons this quarter are about marriage. What does the Bible suggest about King Ahab's marriage to Jezebel? (This marriage is listed among his most memorable sins!)
      
      
      1. I always thought that you had good marriage choices and bad marriage choices. Wise and foolish marriage decisions. Is it possible that a marriage decision could also be a sinful choice?
         
         
         1. If so, how would you know in advance? What does our text suggest is the sin problem with this marriage? (With Jezebel came the practice of the worship of Baal.)
            
            
         2. Read 2 Corinthians 6:14-16. Is it sin to ignore this Biblical advice? (At a minimum, this is advice to keep us from sin. The marriage of King Ahab to Jezebel led to the worship of Baal - which clearly was sin. Marrying an unbeliever is going to take your affections from God and redirect them in another path.)
            
            
      2. Why do Christians marry unbelievers? (In Ahab's situation, I doubt it was love - although it might have been physical attraction in part. The Bible Knowledge commentary informs us that one of the great "accomplishments" of King Omri's life was his military alliance with the Phoenicians (Sidonians) which was sealed by the marriage of Ahab to Jezebel (daughter of the Sidonian King). This marriage brought with it increased earthly power and authority.)
         
         
   4. Read 1 Kings 18:4 & 1 Kings 21:25. Was Jezebel simply someone who did not believe in the true God? (No. She was an activist against God!)
      
      
2. Naboth's Vineyard
   
   
   1. Read 1 Kings 21:1-3. Is the King making a reasonable offer? (Absolutely. A king might be tempted to take it from you - especially this king.)
      
      
      1. Why does Naboth turn it down? (This land has been in the family for a long time.)
         
         
         1. Is Naboth crazy? Why turn down the deal for sentimental reasons? (His reasons are not sentimental. According to Numbers 36:7, God required them to keep the land they inherited. Thus, Naboth most likely considered it a religious obligation that he refuse the king's offer.)
            
            
      2. Was Ahab a gardener? Why would he care about how close his vegetable garden was unless he was tending it? (Apparently, this was King Ahab's summer house. Perhaps he enjoyed gardening. Perhaps he just wanted to easily supervise the workers.)
         
         
   2. Read 1 Kings 21:4. What is the level of Ahab's emotional maturity?
      
      
      1. How does this kind of maturity affect a marriage?
         
         
   3. Read 1 Kings 21:5-7. Does Ahab tell his wife the truth? (Not the whole truth. He omits the reason why Naboth's refusal is reasonable. Otherwise, the refusal seems totally unreasonable.)
      
      
      1. Leave the rest of what you know about Jezebel out of your mind. How is she acting as a wife now? (She is doing exactly what every spouse should do. First, she is not yelling at Ahab for acting like a little boy. Instead, she is sympathetic, but at the same time reminding him of his position of authority. It seems to be a gentle rebuke (although some experts in Hebrew might disagree). Second, she says "I'll take care of your problem." Wouldn't it be nice if our spouses always resolved those problems we cannot solve?)
         
         
   4. Read 1 Kings 21:8-10. What does this reveal to us about Jezebel - other than she has a clear plan of action for cheering up her spouse?
      
      
      1. Consider that she is a worshiper of Baal. How much does she know about Ahab's religion? (She knows the law requires at least two witnesses (Deuteronomy 19:15)to establish a fact, she knew you could not blaspheme God or curse the ruler (Exodus 22:28) and she knew that worshiping false gods was punishable by stoning. (Deuteronomy 13:6-10))
         
         
      2. Would she likely also know that it was improper for Naboth to sell his land to Ahab? (Yes.)
         
         
   5. Read 1 Kings 21:11-14. In this context, consider again Naboth's refusal to sell Ahab his land for religious reasons. What kind of man was Naboth? What kind of people ruled his town? (The rulers were either very corrupt and evil, or they were frightened of Queen Jezebel. Naboth was a remarkable man of principle.)
      
      
      1. Read 2 Kings 9:26. What evil element is left out of our story in 1 Kings 21? (That this evil plot required the death of Naboth's sons as well.)
         
         
   6. Read 1 Kings 21:15-16. What does this story tell us about the marriage of Ahab and Jezebel and their relationship? (It tells us that Jezebel was strong-willed and evil. However, she did act to please her husband (or at least to preserve his authority as king over his subjects). It also tells us that Ahab was immature, weak-willed, and manipulated by his wife.)
      
      
   7. Knowing what you do, should Naboth have traded or sold his land to King Ahab? (I would vote, "yes." The regulations on land were not a moral issue. They were practical rules to allow a family to support itself by the land through succeeding generations. Here, the practical goal of God's regulation is thwarted by the death of Naboth and his sons.)
      
      
      1. Does God always intervene to protect the righteous from the evil here on earth?
         
         
   8. Read 1 Kings 21:17-19. What level of guilt does Ahab have for the actions of his wife? (This shows that Ahab knew what she was doing.)
      
      
      1. To what degree are we responsible for the sins of our spouse?
         
         
         1. Does your answer turn on the level of authority you have over your spouse?
            
            
   9. Read 1 Kings 21:20-24. If you do evil, will God find and punish you? (There is a false teaching that God never acts like a judge to execute judgment. This teaching says that because God is love He cannot execute judgment. That teaching has a very difficult time surviving a story like this. Notice the parallel between the crime and the punishment. God promises to cut off Ahab and his descendants just as Jezebel has cut off Naboth and his descendants.)
      
      
      1. Given what Ahab and Jezebel did, do you want your God to execute judgment on them?
         
         
   10. Read 1 Kings 21:27-29. What picture does this paint of our God? (He is a judge, but what He wants is for us to repent! His desire is to save even the most wicked, not to destroy them.)
       
       
3. Judgment
   
   
   1. Read 2 Kings 9:6-10. Jehu was a commander of the army who had now been anointed the new King of Israel! What do you think about the prophet? (For background read 2 Kings 9:1-3.)
      
      
   2. Jehu starts on his task by heading towards the palace of Ahab's son, Joram. Read 2 Kings 9:20. Is there a connection between the way you drive and your success in life?
      
      
   3. Joram comes out to meet Jehu and Jehu kills him. Jehu had heard the prophecy spoken to Ahab, so he orders that Joram be tossed on Naboth's land. Jehu then continues on to the palace. Read 2 Kings 9:30-31. Why did Jezebel "paint her eyes?"
      
      
      1. Would Jehu be enticed? Was this foolish vanity of an older woman? (Read 2 Kings 9:32-33. Jehu is not enticed. Notice they loyalty of Jezebel's household! They waste no time throwing her out the window.)
         
         
   4. Read 2 Kings 9:34-37. Has justice been done?
      
      
   5. Friend, make the right choices when it comes to God and your spouse. These choices will have consequences here and they certainly will have consequences eternally.
      
      
4. Next week: Hosea and Gomer: Forgiving the Unfaithful.

Introduction: My parents grew up in a situation in which it appeared to them they were not the favored child. Those married couples who have gone through a difficult time or divorce, because of adultery, have a close-up look at what it means to be considered "second-best." God felt that way in His relationship with His people, Israel. He was unhappy because they did not put Him in first place in their hearts. This week our study is on a couple who display this problem. Let's plunge into our study and find out more!

1. The Marriage Instructions
   
   
   1. Read Hosea 1:1-3. What is Hosea and how long has he been on the job? (He is a new prophet. God has started to speak through him.)
      
      
      1. What is one of the first things that God reveals to Hosea? (Marry an adulterous wife and have illegitimate children.)
         
         
         1. As a new prophet, might this make you wonder about your gift?
            
            
         2. Those are certainly odd instructions from a God who condemns adultery! Why does God say that Hosea should do this? (God wants to illustrate the point about the way His people are treating Him.)
            
            
      2. Was Gomer (Hosea's wife to be) an "adulterous wife" before or after their marriage? (The Bible is not clear on this. How would you know your wife would commit adultery? My view is that Hosea wanted to marry Gomer (I think his first mistake was to marry someone with that name (I'm kidding) and it proved, as God predicted, that she would be unfaithful to Hosea.)
         
         
2. Jezreel
   
   
   1. Who is the father of Gomer's first child? (Hosea.)
      
      
   2. Read Hosea 1:4-5. God tells Hosea to give this son a prophetic name. What future does the name Jezreel predict? (Think back to last week, where we studied what Ahab did at Jezreel - and God's punishment on Ahab's wife (Jezebel) and son (Joram).)
      
      
      1. Who was the "good guy" in executing God's judgment on Ahab's wife and son? (Jehu!)
         
         
      2. How could God punish Jehu for what God commanded that he do (2 Kings 9:6-9) and what God later commended Jehu for doing (2 Kings 10:30)? (Read 2 Kings 10:31. Jehu continued to worship idols. He did not keep God's law with all of his heart. Essentially, Jehu was involved in the same sins for which he punished Ahab's family.)
         
         
         1. What good is it to execute God's judgment on the House of Ahab when you are committing the same sin?
            
            
         2. Does this suggest that Jehu's motive for doing God's will was mostly self-aggrandizement?
            
            
      3. Imagine a spouse, who does most of what you ask, but is unfaithful?
         
         
         1. Would you be happy with a spouse like that?
            
            
         2. Are you a spouse like that?
            
            
         3. More importantly, are you a Christian like that? You generally obey God, but your motives are not pure and you do not give God first place in your heart. Is that you?
            
            
3. Lo-Ruhmah
   
   
   1. Read Hosea 1:6. Is Hosea the father of Lo-Ruhmah? (When it comes to the first son, the Bible specifically says it is Hosea's. That statement is lacking here.)
      
      
      1. Lo-Ruhmah means "not loved." Husbands, would this be natural for a child who was conceived while you were married but is not yours?
         
         
         1. Why would you have unloving thoughts towards that child? It is not the child's fault. (The child is a reminder of your "second place" status.)
            
            
         2. What reminded God of His second place status? (The idols the people continued to worship.)
            
            
         3. Put yourself in the place of the people of Hosea's time. Why would they keep these idols? (They did not trust God. One commentary points out that Baal worship mixed religion with sex. Thus, it had a sensual appeal to the people.)
            
            
            1. What are your idols today? What do you do (or keep) that shows that you do not trust God?
               
               
            2. What sensual practice do you put above obedience to God?
               
               
      2. What about your marriage? What do you keep or do that shows that your spouse is "second best?"
         
         
         1. If you continue with these things, can you blame your spouse for having the same reaction as God: "I will no longer show love [or] ... forgive?"
            
            
4. Lo-Ammi
   
   
   1. Read Hosea 1:8-9. Is this son the child of Hosea? (Again, the Bible does not positively say, thus suggesting that he is not.)

1. Lo-Ammi means "not my people." This would be the obvious description of a child who was not yours - but is there a deeper meaning here? (This is the last stage of the breakdown of a relationship. You come to the point where you say "I don't care anymore" - and you mean it.)
   
   
1. When you reach this point in your marriage is there any hope? When you reach this point in your relationship with God, is there any hope?
   
   
1. The Way Back
   
   
   1. Hosea 2:1-15 tells how God will punish Israel for its unfaithfulness. Basically, these verses speak of all the things that God will take away from His people. Is this the course that will help your unfaithful spouse return to you?
      
      
      1. If your spouse returns does it mean that you were loved for your "stuff?" (This sounds like the "tough love" approach to me. God wants to bring His people to their senses by taking away the blessings He has given them. Presumably, every spouse brings something to the marriage. We all bring "stuff." If you take that away, the other spouse may stop taking your contribution for granted.)
         
         
   2. Read Hosea 2:14-15. What course change do we see here?
      
      
      1. Does this course change make any sense to you? If so, why? (The goal is to restore the relationship, not simply punish the spouse. Can you see the path of God's thinking? He first warns His "spouse." Then, when the behavior does not change, He withdraws His blessings from the spouse. Then, when He has the attention of the spouse, and (hopefully) common sense has returned, God woos the spouse back.)
         
         
      2. Are these the stages that we should use to repair our marriage?
         
         
      3. What, specifically, does God do to "woo" Israel?
         
         
         1. What is the symbolism of taking her to the desert? Is this like taking her to the beach? (It means being alone. Perhaps a fresh start.)
            
            
         2. What is the symbolism of speaking tenderly? (Not getting angry or sounding angry. Speaking caring, encouraging, sensitive, sensual words.)
            
            
         3. What is the symbolism of giving back vineyards? (For one thing, it means gifts. Vineyards, grapes, wine have special meaning in the Bible. I think it means a spiritual connection, physical health, pleasure, and joy.)
            
            
   3. Read Hosea 2:16. What change in attitude takes place in the marriage?
      
      
   4. At any point in this process has God stopped loving His people? (Read Hosea 3:1. God tells us that He continued to love His people through the time of their unfaithfulness. He is a great and steadfast God!)

1. Friend, consider God's approach to sin. God desires to have a relationship with you. It may take a little "shaking" of your world. But God's goal is to come close to you and love you, not harm you. Will you come back to Him?
   
   
1. Next week: Yahweh and Israel: Fulfillment Beyond Failure.

Introduction: This is our last lesson in the series on Old Testament marriages. Why do we find so many illusions to marriage in the Old Testament? One answer is that God often uses marriage to tell His side of the story about His relationship with His people. When the Bible speaks about our individual relationship to God, He is often referred to as our Father. When the Bible speaks about God's relationship to His people as a group, it often refers to a marriage. Why, out of all of the relationships that exist, would God use marriage as an illustration? Let's dive in and find out why!