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| | (1 recommendation so far) | Message 1 of 4 in Discussion |
| From:  Serarae (Original Message) | Sent: 1/15/2004 5:25 PM |
I found this the other day as I have not been long from a break up with my long term boyfriend. I find it hard to deal with the fact he just left with no warning even though he was not a church going man and I found out just recently that he was seeing other women. I know in my BRAIN I am better off without him, but my HEART still missed him a lot. I guess I am still in stages 1, 2, and 4 over and over and it has been four months.
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Death of a spouse or breakup of a marriage or long-term relationship can trigger similar responses in a person. Each person mourns a loss differently. However, there are 5 common stages of grief a person goes through when mourning the loss of a relationship.
You may not experience these stages in one fluid order. You may go through some of the stages more than once. Sometimes an event can trigger you to experience one of these stages again. For instance, cleaning out the basement and finding an old shirt of your deceased spouse or hearing your ex-partner is to remarry might cause reoccurrence of certain stages.
The five stages of grief are:
1.Denial �?The "No, not me" stage.
This stage is filled with disbelief and denial. If your partner has died you still expect him to walk through the door. If your partner has asked for a break-up you think that she will change her mind
.
2.Anger/Resentment �?The "Why me?" stage.
Anger at the situation, your partner and others are common. You are angry with the other person for causing the situation and for causing you pain. You might feel anger at your deceased partner for dying. You may feel anger at your partner for asking for a divorce and breaking up the family.
3. Bargaining �?The "If I do this, you’ll do that" stage.
You try to negotiate to change the situation. If you’ve lost a spouse to death you might bargain with God, "I’ll be a better person if you’d just bring him back". You might approach your partner who is asking for the break-up and say "If you’ll stay I’ll change".
4. Depression- The "Its really happened" stage.
You realize the situation isn’t going to change. The death or break-up happened and there is nothing to bring the other person back. Acknowledgement of the situation often bring depression. This could be a quiet, withdrawn time as you soak in the situation.
5. Acceptance �?The "This is what happened" stage.
Though you haven’t forgotten what happened you are able to begin to move forward.
Adapted from Elizabeth Kubler-Ross,
'On Death and Dying'
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| | | From: kysjane | Sent: 1/16/2004 9:30 PM |
Hello, How are you there? I just thought id say hello i know how it is to break up with someone u love too. I broke up with my bf, he broke my heart almost 6months ago..Its still hard to let go and move on..But it does take time..IF you can learn to give the load to jesus has he really does care.and love you..if u want to email me feel free..at [email protected]. Love and blessings kylee xx |
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Reply
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BREAK UPS TAKE TIME TO HEAL FROM. I AM CURRENTLY HURTING RIGHT NOW BECAUSE
I AM CRAZY ABOUT THIS GUY WHO ONLY WANTS ME FOR SEX AS FAR AS I AM CONCERN. SO I
AM BACKING OUT AND OFF.WE ARE BETTER THAN THAT, WE NEED TO REMEMBER THAT WE NEED
TO PUT OUR HEARTS AND MINDS IN GOD. HE WILL NEVER LEAVE US NOR FORSAKE US NO
MATTER WHAT.
GOD BLESS
----- Original Message -----
Sent: Thursday, January 15, 2004 11:25
AM
Subject: 5 Stages of Grief After a Break
Up
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New
Message on 7th Day Adventist
Chatroom
-----------------------------------------------------------
From:
Serarae
Message 1 in Discussion
I found this the other day as I have
not been long from a break up with my long term boyfriend. I find it
hard to deal with the fact he just left with no warning even
though he was not a church going man and I found out just recently that he was
seeing other women. I know in my BRAIN I am better off without
him, but my HEART still missed him a lot. I guess I am still in stages
1, 2, and 4 over and over and it has been four
months.
--------------------------------------------------------------------
Death of a spouse or breakup of a marriage or long-term relationship can
trigger similar responses in a person. Each person mourns a loss differently.
However, there are 5 common stages of grief a person goes through when
mourning the loss of a relationship.
You may not experience these stages
in one fluid order. You may go through some of the stages more than once.
Sometimes an event can trigger you to experience one of these stages
again. For instance, cleaning out the basement and finding an old shirt of
your deceased spouse or hearing your ex-partner is to remarry might cause
reoccurrence of certain stages.
The five stages of grief
are:
1.Denial - The "No, not me" stage.
This stage is filled
with disbelief and denial. If your partner has died you still expect him to
walk through the door. If your partner has asked for a break-up you think that
she will change her mind
.
2.Anger/Resentment - The "Why me?"
stage.
Anger at the situation, your partner and others are common. You are
angry with the other person for causing the situation and for causing you
pain. You might feel anger at your deceased partner for dying. You may feel
anger at your partner for asking for a divorce and breaking up the
family.
3. Bargaining - The "If I do this, you'll do that"
stage.
You try to negotiate to change the situation. If you've lost a
spouse to death you might bargain with God, "I'll be a better person if you'd
just bring him back". You might approach your partner who is asking for the
break-up and say "If you'll stay I'll change".
4. Depression- The
"Its really happened" stage.
You realize the situation isn't going to
change. The death or break-up happened and there is nothing to bring the other
person back. Acknowledgement of the situation often bring depression. This
could be a quiet, withdrawn time as you soak in the situation.
5.
Acceptance - The "This is what happened" stage.
Though you haven't
forgotten what happened you are able to begin to move
forward.
Adapted from Elizabeth Kubler-Ross,
'On Death and
Dying'
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