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I think it may be. Don't get me wrong, I believe it should be there without a doubt, but it seems to me that some people look for two things (a spouse that is Christian and one that is 'hot' or has chemistry) and WHAM, time for marriage. I believe that to be a mistake, for several reasons...
One reason would be the chemistry, or infatuation, or whatever it is rarely lasts once the babies start coming, the day-to-day activities, and the stress of dealing with someone else in intimacy over a long period of time. Some might say then just being Christians together would be enough, but if you think about it, not so. I know for myself there are some Christians I really would prefer not to have much to do with on this side of heaven. God grant that I never marry one because of 'Chemistry' for when that wears off, ooooooh booooy!
I think there should be a meeting of the minds as well as the spiritual side and physical side. For instance, if one spouse feels called to the mission field and the other wants to stay home no matter what, that would be a poor chance for a long lasting marriage no matter how much chemistry there is at the beginning.
Chemistry is great, and I look for it in my own future relationship. But I will not subordinate other areas my common sense tells me that I must consider, no matter how much I may be influenced by a lovely lady.
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| | | From: augbara | Sent: 5/23/2005 12:41 AM |
Very good points, Becky. It takes quite a bit to have a real relationship
besides having chemistry. I can have chemistry with quite a few but due to
some things not gelling with my walk with God and that/those persons, it
would mean I would have to compromise my beliefs/lifestyle to accomodate
those things. They may be fine and we connect on levels, but their walk with
God is shaky, their choices are questionable. It all comes down to is this
the right person for me and will I regret my choice? Attraction is good. You
wouldn't want to be with someone you're not attracted to or have something
in common. But you must go beyond that. It takes time to get to know a
person and the deeper you explore their character, the more you will 'see'
them and realize what you're getting into beyond the clicking and the
gorgeous face.
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