Hi E/everyone

 

I just want to thank you for including my response among the rest of the posts and for Shifting Wind Sir's comment on what i expressed.  You are as always very wise and thoughtful in what you write Sir.

 

I also want to say that i am very sorry for the Garden closing on Phriek chat.  There have been many many times over the last couple of weeks i have wanted to come in and talk with all of you.  I know that what i am writing now will upset a person i do not want to upset, but i know in my heart, for what it is worth at this point, i am truly sorry.  And i will say why ...

 

I loved the Garden and i loved it on Phriek.  I loved every moment i was able to share with all of you.  Over the last several months that Yyou welcomed me into your family, i learned a great deal about myself and my place in this lifestyle.  I know i did not always demonstrate the lessons i did in fact learn, i can only say i am falliable and sometimes i make the wrong choices.

 

So i regret, deeply regret, that i did something of my own volition - regardless of whether i believed i was right in what i chose to do at the time- that caused a place you all loved to close abruptly and for the stress and saddness it caused fury, at a time in her life when she did not need anymore stress.

 

All i can say to Aall of Yyou is that it was not my intention to have happen what in fact resulted from the choice i made.  I should have waited for fury and expressed my feelings and left it up to her to decide the appropriate course of action.

 

For whats it worth, it meant a lot to me to be among all of you.  I am not a bad person.  But i did make a horrible mistake.  And if in the past my actions offended any of you, then i find that regrettable as well.  If nothing else i was myself everyday i was with all of you.  I may not be eloquent or incredibly wise and i am certainly passionate and impulsive at times.  But my heart is good.  I dont want to hurt people or cause friction among friends.  My hope is that you know this about me. 

 

I dont have an issue with coming to the room.  I just saw in my email that my response to dev was finally posted and i decided to write out what i felt needed to be said.  I hope this is ok with all of you and i do hope to see you all very soon if would like.