i wonder now if maybe i left this too open lol, so here's the follow up to what i was thinking when i asked...

 

Talking about women in general i am of the belief and often outspoken about the need for personal strength and self reliance. Sometimes it feels like i'm living with two different people inside of me. My opinions and beliefs seem to grow in two different directions. I hate depending on anyone and yet when my world is going pear shaped i yearn for nothing more than to slip under the blanket of certainty that comes with just being the submissive. Closing all of the other parts of my life off, emotionally (and maybe mentally) holding up the reins and saying 'please just take them'. Sometimes just for a few hours and at some points in my life for longer.

 

I'm not particularly proud of these moments, it feels a bit as though im taking advantage of something precious when i look back on it with a clear head.

 

Thinking about the times when i have done it makes me wonder if others do it too. Is there a line that's not okay to cross, is it not okay to do it ever? At what point do you stop really serving your Master and start serving your insecurities or aprehension? If They're happy, does it even matter?