Hiya teaz

 

I'll apologise in advance in case i have trouble staying on topic hehe.

 

Like most people probably, my first experience with jealousy from a relationship standpoint was with my first long term Lover/Master. He was and probably still is a very jealous Man. Someone coming up to me in public to ask the time or for directions would be considered 'stepping on his turf' and would usually result in an angry accusation from him...or more. It probably goes without saying that i'm really not a fan of that brand of jealousy.

 

For myself, i dont often feel jealous so much. I do feel possessive however. I think the two are maybe different sides of the same coin. Watching someone else try their luck with what i would consider mine is kind of an aphrodisiac for me. There's a lovely pang that seems to feed the possessive little creature inside me and enough trust in my relationship to keep it on the fun side of play.

 

Another fun relationship ended for me eventually because of jealousy oddly enough...or my lack of it. A man i'd been seeing on and off for close to a year completely lost it with me because when he hinted that some girl he worked with might try to hit on him at his company christmas party my first response was to ask if she was cute and then if she liked girls. His anger over the fact that i hadn't responded the way a 'normal' girlfriend would caused an argument and opened pandora's box for what would ultimately kill even the friendship.

 

I'm not sure i'm even making sense but i'd liken it to the difference between someone admiring my necklace and me offering to lend it to them as opposed to trying to slip it from my neck when i'm not looking.

 

There have been times and will continue to be times where for reasons that honestly probably have more to do with my own insecurities than anything else, i will slip into the less than pretty side of jealous. I can be petty and a bit childish and want to ask for silly assurances. Thankfully these episodes are usually few and far between and the person involved is clever enough to see through the tantrum.

 

i'm really sorry if this has ended up as pure gobbeldygook  hopefully some of it makes sense.