Fresh from my shower, I stand in front of the mirror
complaining to my husband that my breasts are too small.

Instead of characteristically telling me it's not so,

he uncharacteristically comes up with
a suggestion. "If you want your breasts to grow,

then every day
take a piece of toilet paper and rub it between them for a few
seconds"

 Willing to try anything, I fetch a piece of toilet paper and
stand in front of the mirror, rubbing it between my breasts.
"How long will this take?" I asked.
"They will grow larger over a period of years," my husband
replies.

I stopped. "Do you really think rubbing a piece of toilet
paper between my breasts every day will make my breasts larger over
theyears?"

Without missing a beat he says "Worked for your butt, didn't
it?"      

 He's still alive, and with a great deal of therapy, he may
even walk again although he will probably

continue to take his meals
through a straw.
     Stupid, stupid man