LETTER FROM A MOM WHOSE SON HAS ADHD AND ADVICE FROM BARBARA BULLARD, MA.

THE LETTER:

I am so concerned about my son. My heart is just breaking for him and I don't know how to help him. He has "ADHD". I've been dealing with this since he was about 15 months old when I first noticed he was "hyper". I kept thinking he was going through his “terrible twos�?early. Here he is in 5th grade now and it's been so very hard on him. I don't know how to help him. He is in a special class now because he cannot function in a regular class. He's been suspended from school, the bus, the daycare, friend's houses. Many people are mean to him and treat him badly because they think he is just a "brat" and needs discipline. He gets hit and spanked with a belt at his dad's house. He cries his heart out because he thinks he is bad, stupid, worthless, etc. He really wants to be good so much. He just sobs and says he can't help it. He has barely any self-control. He is a danger to himself and to others. He beats on his little brother and sister. He chews his fingernails until the tips of his fingers are raw. He has sores all up and down his forearms where he scratches himself until he bleeds. He lights fires, steals, lies, runs off. It is all affecting our family badly. I've tried every different kind of medication there is, and combinations.

They do help some, but, geez, he is still barely hanging in there. Counseling, parenting classes, behavior modification, all that. Please please help me figure out what I can do for him. I am in tears typing this. I did the pendy test on his chakras and his heart chakra is completely closed. No surprise, poor kid. I've read all about Indigo children and I'm sure he is one. He is SUPER sensitive. I've tried giving him Reiki. I've tried different things, but each time it seems to take months adjusting the dose, monitoring, etc. just to find it isn't working either.

Now he's going to start Jr. High, has to be in the "bad kids" "retards" class, and ride their bus. I feel so bad for him. He is bright, funny, sweet and definitely psychic, especially his dreams. I am just so upset I can't even sleep and I'm nine months pregnant. I lay awake at night crying for him and trying to figure out what I can do to help him. I can't stand it any longer; it's only a matter of time before he is in trouble with the law.

His birthday 10/18/92.
Blessings, R

BARBARA BULLARD’S ADVICE:

My first words of advice for you are to remind you how important it is for you to take care of yourself, mentally and physically, since you are pregnant and your baby is the recipient of your stress and emotions. So, I do hope that you can place your turmoil for your son in a more moderate emotional state. Having said that, it sounds like you do have your "hands full", as did I with my son Stephen. Let me suggest some areas to try in response to your commentary.

May I ask which medications you have tried with him? The hurting/scratching himself, the impulsivity (when he actually wants to be good) and the reactivity make it sound to me as if he may have a definite serotonin imbalance. Have you taken him to anyone who works with NAET (Nambudripad's Allergy Elimination Techniques �?www.naet.com) to have him tested for mineral deficiencies? Have you tried the nutritional path---such as CALM'd supplements (http://www.neurogenesis.com)? There obviously is a chemical disruption as a major component to this---although I am not a doctor so can not speak to this---I am just a mother and educator that went to hell and back raising kids....I caution you against use of SSRI's for one so young, personally, and do believe there are some more nutritional avenues. The brain is largely a chemical and electrical interaction. I am more informed on how to help at the electrical parts of the brainwave portions. Here are some of the specific suggestions that I will make, but these will only help IF HE is willing to use them for at least 3 months. He must "want" to get better. There are definite electrical aspects that can be helped at this time of his adolescence. If you read the excellent article in Time Magazine on The Teen Brain, you will read that your son is on the cusp of having the neurons of the brain pruned out---up to 25-40% will be pruned. This can often lead to the worst parts of ADD and ADHD to dissipate on its own. But, if you want to help the balancing process along, I would suggest that you try using the Hemi-Sync CD's that I did with my son, Stephen. He used them from 11-12 years old and he went out of ADD for the most part in that year. (He is now 22---a senior in college, getting a B plus average---I am here to tell you that things can get better). He would use the Hemi-Sync CD’s Brain: Repair and Maintenance going to sleep at night with headphones for 2 solid weeks---followed by Retain-Recall-Release for two weeks at night. (If he has math difficulties he also would follow this with 3 weeks of Sleeptime with Buy the Numbers. Now, during the day, when he studies, he has a MetaMusic background. If he is consistent for about 3-6 months on this approach, neuronal blockages that are electrical/neuronal in kind can rewire across the corpus callosum and this can help him a lot at the very least in his studies. More often than not, it also helps them to have better impulse control as well. If he is willing to try this approach (it can only help his brain to balance) I will be happy to send you a free copy of my book, Communicating from the Inside Out, that explains the role of music for learning. It would also help you if you read my recent article on MetaMusic to help with opening the door to learning in The Children of the New Earth Magazine, Spring 2004 Issue.

Again, I suggest you get more centered in your feelings about your son and how bad it is going to get. You need to return to holding a more positive perception of his abilities and his future. I will tell you that my hardest times with my son and daughter, both hyper ADD kids, were during adolescence. But so much happens in the brains of teenagers now that can help or exacerbate these issues you are already dealing with. I do know the Hemi-Sync CD program really helped Stephen and hundreds of other kids along the way. The electrical effects are extra ordinarily helpful in co-coordinating the connections at the pre-frontal lobe which grows from 12 to 21. This part must get hooked up gently and it helps the impulsivity aspects. We must all remember that these children are coming in for a good purpose. Our challenge as parents is to help them on that path. I hope that you have received much positive input from others. I know how hard it can be to raise a son with the difficulties of your son---it can get exhausting along with many other adjectives I could name. But it is worth the effort. My 3 children have all come out the other end of the tunnel of turmoil and are all productive young 20 somethings by now. To let you know, Stephen's kindergarten teacher told me that Stephen would never make it in the school system and would grow up to be a school bully or a gang leader....I got him away from her influence....but Stephen was more often than not in the principal's office a lot through school. Now my final suggestion for you if you are not already aware of it is to get your son into an organized sport like football or hockey to get an outlet for all that pent up energy. It sure helped Stephen! If he is not into sports then channel his energy into music---another release for all the energy. I sure do hope that this info is helpful in some way for you and your son. I wish you also much love and happiness with your new bundle of joy.

Love and Light,
Barbara Bullard, M.A.
Speech Communications
http://www.DNAMusic.com

(Editor’s Note: Visit the Hemi-Sync website at http://www.hemi-sync.com. CNE will begin reviews of the Hemi-Sync CD’s in the upcoming issues.)

I've worked with a number of forms of this kind of music & found it most helpful, although I have no connection to any business of this type.  RM

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