A Peaceful Place

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Hello, I know I have not said much in this group, and I appologize. I have been dealing with my own struggles with fybromyaliga.

See I have had it dr's think since I was 16 I fell off some bleachers, from the very top. Got up and walked off. However that's when things started.

It started I never seemed to be able to be rested, I was always tired, and my body always seemed to ache.

It went dormat here and there and then would fly up once again and esclate. Some days were not as bad as others. I managed to keep my LNA license for 6 years, and I loved doing it. BUT the work was too much for my system to handle.

I was also in an abusive relationship, that I was staying in because A i thought I had no other place to go not being able to hold down a realy job, and B because of the kids. I thought they needed their father. I stayed only to find out it did more harm then good.. OH The mistakes we make,

But the abuse took a tole on my system, the constant roller coaster, of the physical and abbuse my system has overloaded.

I have new sympotms now and they do not seem to be getting any better. And I am at my wits end

They're:
Dizziness
Vomiting
Blury vision, cannot see at all at times.
Diahrea
aches and pains
pressure in my Head so bad i feel like it needs to be sucked out LOL
Back pain
Stomach Pain
Numbness in my arms and Legs
And the list continues

I am so mad.. it is my own fault I know. Dosn't take away how mad it makes me.
The dr. has put me on Amytriptalin (sp sorry ) and Flexirel for my back. He is very sympathetic to my plyte but doesn't know what else to give me. Sigh any suggestions are greatly appricated..

Thank you soo much and sorry for not being on as much as I would lke

Welcome Midnight Magical Storm

Oh my heavens, MMStorm, this is not how we want to get through life ! I've had this DD for at least 20 yrs ! & know about the roller coaster thing, for sure. I suspect that I may have had it much longer, tho not as severely as it's been since my son was born ! Ahhh whew, it takes a toll on our relationships all around, without factoring in dreadful relationship issues too.

Today the terror attack, I seem caught in the middle of has me barely able to type. To experience this current level of anxiety is absolutely absurd, objectively in this situation now, so mentally, I'm fine, just really fed up with "such jangled nerves".

The last meds for this I used was the amtriptyline - and it did really help at the time. Now I'm well enough to use only supplements. The blurred vision is frightening, absolutely. Thankfully you have a supportive MD. That makes a huge difference.

As I'm able, I post material here which (I hope) helps to provide an understanding of what's really underlying this very confusing array of symptoms we experience. To me gaining a deeper understanding of the factors which may be part of the complex of factors affecting these conditions could give the needed boost to overcome the worst of it all. So to that end I do hope you will find something that helps to give you an edge in gaining some relief !

NP, when we don't feel well, gathering the thoughts & oomph to say much of anything, is asking alot !

I know I don't always get in here to respond to messages the way I think I "should" .

As to all of the symptoms, a lot of read points to the probable presence of stealth viruses, mycoplasms and mycotoxins and as I find various items to address that, I do find symptoms declining. Also a fairly restricted diet does make a big difference too.

I'm on MSN chat sometimes so perhaps we can chat too one of these days.

sorry you are having to deal w/that. my prayers are with you and know that the prayers from your friends in this group truly work. they certainly gave me more luck than anybody would know. this new job is working out great and i'm finally getting over my mentally abusive ex husband.

silly man told my daughter yesterday that he was gonna join the dating service that she had found her fiance thru. but, he only told her to get me jealous. lol, i never figured he would stoop to such a desperate attempt. but, obviously he isn't as over me as he thought and wants to see me run back to him. i told her to tell him "go ahead and join the dating service. i wish you luck. but it would be better for everybody concerned if you joined AA first!" lol. how transparent can somebody be?

anyway, i'm glad to see that you have gotten away from your tormentor. i too thought that there was no place to go. but i got away from him and actually got better. found new friends and am enjoying working in a great job w/benefits and great furniture discounts. also great friends to work with.

so just think of it this way, there is nowhere to go but up. sure your going thru some things now and they are truly valid. but having a positive attitude, having your children to concentrate on and getting your health back will make things better. i know its hard. but just think that its his loss and you are better off getting away from him.

my first husband was abusive physically, but not violently, compared to what most ppl go thru. i only got bruised not beaten. but for years i harbored hatred for him. no i will never forgive him as ppl tell you you need to do. but, eventually i found that just pitying him was better. he would never have somebody as good as i was and he ended up marrying a user/abuser like himself. she pushed him to abandon our kids (but it backfired on her later, b/c then he wouldnt abandon her kids and she was stuck w/him till the day he died and after) and try to get out of paying child support.

well, he did abandon my kids, but he didnt get out of paying child support. later he realized his mistake and after they had 2 boys of their own he vowed he wouldn't lose them. well, before he died 2yrs ago of a stoke and aneurysm of the brain, he was at her house every weekend (the boys gave him a key) and after he died she had to do all the arrangements for the funeral and is paying for his burial b/c the children loved him. so i guess that is poetic justice. she was abusive to my children and had him abandon them. but in the end she is stuck w/him in one way or another till she dies. ha!

so just think of it this way, "better to have loved and lost than have to put up w/him for all eternity!"

so you dont have to forgive him, just try your best to let the anger out and then get over it. b/c ppl like "our" ex's never really understand and will go to their graves knowing that "we were at fault". so ignoring them and never going back serves more purpose than out right anger. b/c they never understand and its "their loss, not ours!"

ps. sorry for the rambling. but i hope it helps!

Important Announcement The MSN Groups service will close in February 2009. You can move your group to Multiply, MSN’s partner for online groups. Learn More
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