FMS RULES OF ETIQUETTE

PERSONAL HYGIENE

1. Decisions about which body part to wash depend on which doctor you're seeing today, i.e., face/ears for the ENT; feet for the podiatrist; arms for blood tests; etc...

2. Read labels carefully. Ever notice how much the can of room freshener resembles the can of deodorant?

3. Remember to warn your spouse before kissing if you've just taken your herbal remedies, since your breath now smells like grass.

IN THE KITCHEN

1. If you can't remember what it is you're cooking in the pot, whatever it is, it can probably use more salt.

2. Do not toss that cold cup of coffee into the dryer or set the iron in the refrigerator to cool off, no matter how good an idea it may seem at the time.

3. When your husband tells you "Don't worry about dinner, just throw some frozen chicken in the oven and forget it", DON'T forget it.

4.  It's bad manners to fall asleep at the table, especially in the food.

5. If you're having a bad day, there's nothing better than pizza and quiet.

DRIVING ETIQUETTE

1. Always place a Post-It Note on the dashboard telling you where you're going. And when you get there, place another on the dashboard that says HOME.

2. Always carry an electronic homing device in your car and with you so you can find your car in the parking lot.

TIPS FOR ALL OCCASIONS

1. If you have to vacuum the bed, it's time to change the sheets.

2. If you take the dog for a walk, make sure he brings you back.

3. Never mind about taking one day at a time. Just stick to one thing at a time.

4. Try to spend at least 45 minutes each morning doing one get-up.

5. Work at learning something new every day, like sitting up, for example...

6. Remember to breathe when napping. It's unnerving to wake up and see vultures staring at you.

7. Learn to understand your "body language":

Joints - "I ache! It's going to rain!"
Stomach - "You're getting me upset!"
Nose - "Oh, oh, I'm getting a cold!"
Head - "Stop it, all of you! I'm getting a migraine