Alice's Restaurant

Can You Give Me A Push?

A man is in bed asleep with his wife when there is a rat-a-tat-tat on
the door. He rolls over and looks at his clock, and it's half past
three in the morning. "I'm not getting out of bed at this time", he
thinks, and rolls over. Then, a louder knock follows. "Aren't you
going to answer that?" says his wife. So he drags himself out of
bed, and goes downstairs. He opens the door and there is man
standing at the door. It didn't take the homeowner long to realize
the man was drunk.

"Hi there." slurs the stranger, "Can you give me a push??"

"No, get lost. It's half past three. I was in bed," says the man and
slams the door.

He goes back up to bed and tells his wife what happened and she says
"Dave, that wasn't very nice of you. Remember that night we broke
down on the pouring rain on the way to pick the kids up from the
baby-sitter and you had to knock on that man's house to get us
started again? What would have happened if he'd told us to get lost?"

"But the guy was drunk," says the husband.

"It doesn't matter." says the wife. "He needs our help. The right
thing to do would be to help him."

So the husband gets out of bed again, dresses, and goes downstairs.
He opens the door, and not being able to see the stranger anywhere he
shouts: "Hey, do you still want a push??" He hears a voice cry out,
"Yeah, please."

So, still being unable to see the stranger he shouts: "Where are you?"

And the stranger replies: "I'm over here, on your swing."

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