__xx So, obviously I have been absent from the wrestling business just a tad bit too long, because during my absence there have been an abundance of whores...and I mean literally, WHORES climbing up that ladder of success and honestly it just sickens me. Like does talent not matter anymore? All you need to succeed is the deepest throat in wrestling?...Well damn, why wasn't I a porn star? Ha, oh yeah...because I actually posses some fucking talent. Kick. Ass. Talent. And if anyone would like to dispute that little statement, please feel free to check my list of accomplishments, I promise that they are better than yours.
__xx The scene opens up showing Kylee Oliver standing outside of the IWL arena smoking a cigarette as she watches a couple of people make their way inside...most likely to make their debuts...something that Kylee had yet to officially take care of. But judging by the contracts that have been signed, this place was going to be interesting to say the least. Not only would IWL have amazing talent like herself, and her friend Lexi Sheckler but it would also be the home to girls such as Jade Jiles, Louise Houghton and my personal favorite, Kourtney Cuntface. Damn, the names people come up with now a days. Kylee takes one last drag of her cigarette before throwing it down on the ground and quickly extinguishing it with her combat boot. Pushing herself off of the brick wall that she was leaning against she starts to head inside when the door opens the opposite direction almost smacking her in the face. The person looks just like any other stereotypical, hopeless female and Kylee scowls at them before saying "watch where the fuck your going". The person scuttles away as Kylee then steps inside the arena taking in a breath of the disgusting stench of air filling up the airways. She then looks over to find Lexi Sheckler looking down at something on the ground and smirks a bit as she makes her way over to her.
Kylee Oliver;; Long time no fucking see....speaking of "seeing"...what in the hell are you looking at?
Lexi Sheckler;; Hey, I was wondering when you were gonna show your face around here....and I am looking at an ant.
Kylee Oliver;; An ant? *she looks down to see it crawling along the floor* Might I ask why?
Lexi Sheckler;; Well, it kind of reminds me of some of the bitches here...like Louise Houghton for example, both her and this ant have a lot in common. Both of them are worthless, small little parasites that somehow managed to find their way crawling into this business. However, one thing this ant doesn't have, at least to my knowledge is the deepest throat...ever.
Kylee Oliver;; *she laughs as she looks back up at Lexi* So, you noticed some of the CUNTS around here too huh?
Lexi Sheckler;; How could you not notice all these fucking cunts? They are everywhere! We have like what?...Three self proclaimed cunts here and god knows how many are still in hiding.
Kylee Oliver;; Ah, I know...it almost discouraged me from debuting, but I figured that it could be fun seeing if I could possibly challenge Louise Houghton to a cunt battle.
Lexi Sheckler;; What the hell? A cunt battle?...Are you serious?
Kylee Oliver;; Yeah, I'm dead serious...like honestly, I would like to know if it's possible for anyone to say cunt more times in a sentence than that bitch. In fact, they should call the Womens Championship in this place the Cunt Championship, especially if she ever gets a hold of it.
Lexi Sheckler;; Mmm, yeah that would be quite fitting for a cunt such as herself.
Kylee Oliver;; Oh I know it...*she smirks*...so come on, let's go train...
Lexi Sheckler;; Train?...What the fuck for? Neither of us have matches yet.
Kylee Oliver;; No, but I am going to have a cunt battle, remember? And I need someone to help me train. So, come on.
__;; Lexi just laughs a bit as she follows Kylee down the hall and into her new locker room where they both take seats on the couch as Lexi props her feet up on the coffee table before looking back over at Kylee.
Lexi Sheckler;; Alright, so now how exactly am I supposed to help you train for this..."cunt" battle?
Kylee Oliver;; Well seeing as how I've yet to cut a 'debut promo', how about you pretend to be one of them lame ass cunt interviewers and ask me some questions?...and then I'll answer them in true cunt fashion.
Lexi Sheckler;; Okay, that works...*she clears her throat*...sorry, but I had to clear my throat of some left over cunt...
__;; Kylee bursts out laughing, not being able to keep a straigh face with that comment as Lexi joins her in laughter. Both women than quickly calm down and gain their composure as Kylee motions for Lexi to assume the position of "miss cunt interviewer"....
Lexi Shecker;; So here with me tonight, is Kylee fucking Oliver, you know her as Your One And Only Poison Girl, Thee Ultimate Bitch and Your Sweet Little Six Six Six...So tell us Kylee, how does it feel to be signed on to IWL?
Kylee Oliver;; It feels fucking cunt-tastic Lexi! Seriously, I've never been surrounded by so much cunt in all my life and I must say that this is truly a life changing experience for me. I know I've been in the business for quite some time now, but never have I ever had the pleasure of working with such grade A cunts! ....It makes me feel blessed, really it does, I wouldn't want to be anywhere else but here with all these lovely cunts.
Lexi Sheckler;; When you say cunts...are you referring to anyone in particular?
Kylee Oliver;; Yes actually I am...there are three cunts in particular that I have taken notice to. The first being Jade Jiles...probably thee most infamous cunt of them all. And damn is that a true honor for that cunt! I mean to screw around for all of those years and to finally get the title of most notorious cunt...is just amazing! So congratulations on that accomplishment Jade, only wish I could add that to my list of achievements. *she smirks* Now, cunt number two is a toss up between two other ladies...but we will go with Louise Houghton, only because she has claimed to have thee deepest throat in all of wrestling. Also, quite a cunt-tabulous accomplishment, because really only cunts with deep throats get anywhere in this business...without a deep throat, your nothing more than an old, washed up cunt with a lame ass gimmick. Which brings us to Kourtney Cuntface....the girl even managed to put cunt in her last name! Can you imagine the case worker's reaction when she asked to have her last name changed from like Swanson to...CUNTface? *she laughs* Damn, I wish I could of been there....
Lexi Sheckler;; So from the sound of it, you seem to really idolize these cunts...
Kylee Oliver;; Oh hell no, actually I fucking hate them and their cunt loving guts. I'm so over the whole cunt gimmick, like seriously come up with something new people. I mean, granted I've never heard of Kourtney Cuntface prior to IWL, so I guess her gimmick is slightly more valid than the other two...but Jade...damnit...Jade has been around for fucking centuries, like I think she was here before the dinosaurs and yet...she is still going by "cunt"?...How..fucking...lame! You know what Lexi?...I think that for Christmas I'm going to buy her a new gimmick, because really its the least that I could do after having to see and listen to her cunt bull shit for so long. I figure that either she doesn't know how to be anything else but a sorry fuck or that she doesn't know how to get a new gimmick, which is why I will be purchasing her one this holiday. Perhaps, I'll buy her Lita's gimmick...yeah, that's it! Can't you just see it now? Jade Jiles...no longer a cunt but...a hardcore, punktastic bitch! Fuck, I would pay to see that! I think it might even draw in a new crowd of fans....sadly though she would probably just become a gothic little cunt when it's all said and done, and my money would have been spent in vain. *she shrugs her shoulders* Ah well, it was the thought that counts right?
Lexi Sheckler;; Oh of course...and how thoughtful of you Kylee to be thinking of someone as big of a cunt as Jade Jiles...perhaps Santa himself will get you something special this holiday season for you after thinking so kindly of Jade, someone that surely must be on his naughty list.
Kylee Oliver;; Well if ole' Saint Nick is listening...I would like a new pair of Dr. Martens and...oh, some sanity please because god knows I'll need it after having to deal with these cunts.
Lexi Sheckler;; Well you heard it guys straight from the mouth of Kylee Oliver, her very own Christmas list, and if you all arn't cunts like Jade, Louise and Kourtney, you will be a pal and perhaps fill those wishes. Now Kylee, is there anything else you would like to say to the millions of people and cunts alike watching tonight before we go off the air?
Kylee Oliver;; Mmm...oh yeah there is one other thing. *she smiles devishly* All cunt jokes aside, I honestly can't stand those three...yeah I know I havn't met them...well I've met Jade, years ago, and obviously Jade hasn't changed so I think it's still safe to say I hate the bitch....and no doubt she will just laugh at all of this, and god I'm ever so glad, because this was all meant for shits and giggles anyways. However, even though I've yet to really meet the other two, just the fact that they are cunts is pathetic and fucking disgusting to me....and even if you arn't a self-proclaimed cunt in this business, the chances are very high that I still can't stand your ass, and it's not just some idle threat when I say that if you stand in my way towards any sort of championship that I will fucking bash your face and or cunt in, whichever may apply. So bitches...and when I say bitches, I'm including the male bitches in that little sentiment...you all better watch your fucking backs and learn how to listen because when I say jump...you say "how high?"...and if you guys learn how to play the game like that, then I'm sure we can all get along just fine. *she smirks* Whether you all wana believe it or not, Kylee Oliver and Lexi Sheckler are back and in the IWL together and for those of you that know us are probably shaking in your boots and or cunt style stripper heels, because it's a universal known fact that whenever we debut somewhere, that we wreck absolute havoc. Hell, we even got shunned by the Dizman in TEW for our antics at one point in time *she laughs*...god, what a fucktard...but hopefully IWL is a bit tougher and can handle our crazy bull shit and fucking amazing ass kickings, because until we are kicked out of these doors, me and Lexi mother fucking Sheckler are here to stay. *she pauses for a moment before smiling again and looking back into the camera* Now, can you CUNTS handle that?!...
__;; Kylee looks over to Lexi smiling and gives her this look that Lexi picks up on immiedatly as she herself now looks into the camera to finish off Kylee's sentence.
Lexi Sheckler;; The answer to that of course is HELL NO BITCHES! You can call yourself mother fucking cunts all you want, but sadly your deep throats and blown out 'va-jay-jays' arn't going to help you when your forced into the ring with me or Kylee Oliver here, because unfortunately we're not dudes and no we don't want you to fuck us...hell, we don't even want you to touch us, but that's necessary in a match, especially if we're going to kick your asses
Kylee Oliver;; Oh wait Lexi...speaking of fucking them bitches, I really don't know why any guy would want to fuck those cunts...gotta imagine it must feel like shoving a pencil down an empty hallway...
__;; Lexi bursts out laughing and Kylee soon follows suite as the cameras keep rolling, Kylee then looks back up at the camera, still laughing a bit as she speaks.
Kylee Oliver;; Alright, shit...I think that was enough training for the cunt battle today...so until next time, remember ladies and gentlemen always wear a fucking condom.
Lexi Sheckler;; Especially if your fucking with Jade Jiles, Louise Hougton or Kourtney Cuntface.
__;; Lexi and Kylee start laughing again as the scene starts to fade out and as it goes black a little public serve announcement flashes across the screen that reads::
::This message was brought to you by Kylee Oliver and Lexi Sheckler and was sponsored by the Please Practice Safe Sex and Don't Create Another Cunt Foundation....We fully approve of the content of this message::
End of Scene