My love, I know this day isnt going like either of us had planned or wished for so far but just know I love you so much Glen, and you are such a wonderful man. I wish I could give you so much more, you never ask for it, and you try to say you dont want anything but I still wish I could lavish you, every single day of our lives together just lavish the hell out of you with your every hearts desire. You make my life everything Glen, everything I always dreamed and wished, is because of you. I am so proud of you, so proud to be yours, so in awe of you.
Your capacity for kindness, for gentleness, for love, for humor and so much more amaze the hell out of me every day. Just the thought of you, brings a smile to my lips every time. Just the image of you inside me, makes me shudder with pleasure and desire, every time. Just the knowledge that I have the honor and pleasure of living my life next to you forever, is more than I could have ever wished and hoped for.
Every day with you is a celebration and though today has had its damper on some aspects of the day, knowing that I get to spend every day with you, that I can celebrate your birthday, your day anytime, over and over is all I need. Knowing that I have you and your love is all I need to get me through.
If life were perfect (which it clearly isnt as shown by this nasty weather hampering your day, but which does make life more interesting) but if life were perfect I would have driven you to work today. Taken the kids to school, ran to the store and with food stamps gotten you a cake, a yummy lunch and some plates and heading to your work early. I would have shown up at about 11 and set up your cake in your break room, and some food for you to eat, I would have waited to see your suprised look and wonderful smile as you came out.
Then after you had cashed your check and I left I would have run like a madwoman around getting your night ready. I would have gotten us tickets to a movie tonight, the opening night of a horror movie you mentioned, and I would have placed them in a special birthday card for you. I would have then gone to Wal Mart and bought a few gifts and wrapped them up for you. I would have taken the kids to Jenny. Come and got you and had you open the card first to see the tickets. Then you would have come home and got washed and before our movie I would have driven you to a restaraunt, nothing super fancy but something special for me and you. We would have eaten and laughed, smiled and held hands. In the car on the way to the movies we would have been chatting away about our hopes that the movie would be good, touching and just enjoying each others company. At the movies we would have hopefully watched a good, scary movie and come out grinning at how scared we got, saying it was a good one.
We would have either after that found a secluded area to make out or headed right home, depending on how you felt and what you wanted. You would have had a few small presents, nothing like I wanted but something at least to open. And we would have fooled around like teenagers for awhile, before getting down to heavy lovemaking.
It wouldnt have been lavish, but it would have be done with all my love, and all my heart into it and hopefully had been a wonderful birthday for you. But, as previously mentioned, life is not so perfect, plans have to be changed sometimes, improvised and sometimes scrapped all together. whatever the night ends up having in store for us my love, for you, whatever we do get to do and share together all I know is it still has one thing the perfect day would have had, all my love, and all my heart going into it.
I love you darling, so very much and I cant wait to celebrate with you!! xxoo