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Hello my sweet love. I wanted to stop in here and tell you how much I love you and how pretty you are. I'm so lucky you are mine, by my side, my wife, lover and best friend. Sometimes I don't deserve you, but I never want to live without you. You make me happy deep inside my soul baby. I love you, with everything I am... forever and always. |
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Lol, you sent this message twice, did you think it didnt go through the first time? Just double the love though huh? Shouldnt be too long before your home, I think I'll just go start playing the game with Joshua, Im sure you wont want to come home and have to sit and play a game. Jeesh, Im tired and yet I slept in some lol. Im so lazy anymore, insecure, chubby, annoying, lazy woman.  I love the lyrics you posted too, thank you my love. Hey I was recalling remember when we talked a week or so ago about our first loves or first "fucks", you did say a lady named Rhonda was your first fuck right? Rhonda Gorby? Thin, attractive redhead if I remember right? I miss you, Im sorry I woke you last night, I know you said it was fine but still, I didnt mean to wake you out of a peaceful, sweet sleep, but I did really love cuddling with you, that always makes me feel better  Forever all my love, Amber xxoo |
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LOL... yeah, I must have thought it didn't go through I guess. You're not chubby sweety. And I wish you could get rid of your insecurities. I know, it's tough. And we all get lazy from time to time. Yes babe, her name was Rhonda Gorby, my first "fuck." Wow, how random was that? Anyways, I love you sweety. Very much....yours  |
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Im getting chubby lol. I wish we could all get rid of our insecurities in life, I guess everyone has weak spots, its what makes us human, I just hate mine sometimes. Well, if you dont mind me asking why do you search for her though, Rhonda I mean? I know you'll say besides being your first she was a friend, but still how come? I know you like re-connecting with people from your past, but dont you feel maybe re-connecting with a woman you have had sex with would maybe bother me a little bit? Or am I way wrong, honestly tell me. I try to think how you would feel if I was trying to re-connect with any guys I had slept with in the past, or even my first, even if it was a one time thing and afterwards we were just friends, I just know it would bother you, wouldnt it? I guess we have fundemental differences in some things, I dont want to focus on the past so much trying to re-connect with old people in a totally different life from you because my life is with you now, I look to us and our future not behind and to what once was and was a very different time for me, but I also even more important just know that it would bother you and your insecurities if I was to be searching for old guy "friends" and I would never do that to you, I try to always think of you and how what I would do or not do would affect you, because your my partner, my love and I try to always keep in mind you and not me so much because I love you so much. I guess this just goes back to having private/seperate things from each other, but I hope that even if you have to have private things from me, you still love me enough to think of how i would feel about something and make decisions based on that, I think thats how people in love do it. I know your going to just get mad at me, think Im "spying" on you as you often say, think Im so wrong.....its all me and my stupidity. I know Im just annoying the hell out of you, although I wish so bad your reaction might be something like, "you know, I never thought about it, but your right it would bother me and I dont ever want to make you feel less so lets be more open about things" or something that was supportive, helpful, loving, I wish you would think about it and respond with love, not being pissed off at me. I think I make valid points, I think its right for a couple to not have secret things from each other, I think even if you have to have your private life away from me, you still make choices based on us and me not just you and then even maybe mention, "yeah I thought it would be cool to try and find these old friends so Im searching for them" just so I knew, as i would do for you. Im not upset, just I guess upset with myself is only it, I feel very inadequete, a failure at times and I feel its my fault....so Im not upset with you at all love, just me. I love you my man, my husband, my love. All my love forever, Amber xxoo PS, I know your thinking this is why I was quiet earlier, but I promise you, its a combination of last night and my mom, being tired, being upset with myself and things of that nature, I swear on everything that is why I was quiet, nothing important and not because I asked you these questions. Believe me please. xxoo |
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|  0 recommendations | Message 5 of 6 in Discussion |
| | Sent: 10/19/2008 10:43 PM |
| This message has been deleted by the manager or assistant manager. |
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No, I'm not mad. What's the point in being mad. I wasn't trying to get in touch with her. However, in the past, even before I met you I always wondered what happened to her. I never had any intentions of communicating with her. It has nothing to do with fond memories of my first "fuck", just a curiosity of knowing how someone is you once knew. The only thing I had been able to find out over the years is that she married a guy named kenneth payne and she was in the air force. It's truly no different than say you trying to find that guy you once knew when you were young that you said was a really good friend, and you have tried to find a guy(s) you knew in Illinois. I admit, it bothered me when you wanted to move patrick into our home, and even went on about it after I said no, but I realize it's stupid insecurities in which we all have. I am sorry you feel like I have some secretive life beyond what we have. I don't, no more than you, but I understand how it makes you feel. I'm trying to be sensitive to everything I do, and try to analyze how it might make you feel. I love you more than anything in this world sweety, and all I want is to be able to show that to you. I know, I fail miserably, most of the time, but I just want us to be happy. I'm not mad, so please don't think I am. I love you, and I'm sorry I hurt you sometimes.... your man |
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