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 Message 1 of 38 in Discussion 
From: MSN NicknameT-o-r-s-t-e-n  (Original Message)Sent: 1/7/2009 5:16 PM
This is it. 
I'm pulling up and heading out earlier than I said I would, albeit I never did say I'd definitely stay till the end of MSN.  Anyway, I've enjoyed meeting and befriending most of you and schooling others.  I've been considering doing a memory lane sort of recap of times here that have stood out, but like the whole idea of backing up files from MSN to archive them elsewhere, that'd be a long and tedious list and I will avoid that sort of daunting task unless I feel unusually energetic over the course of Thursday and Friday, which are my final two days as a message boarding member of society.  So I'll use this thread as my goodbye and goodthanks to my fellow members of the loft.  

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 Message 24 of 38 in Discussion 
From: MSN NicknameBekka2364Sent: 1/8/2009 5:52 PM
Yeh smig that is true, I went out with my girlfriend, and she is hot! But she was liking this one dude at the bar, so I urged her to go and put herself out there, I was almost pushing her! Well, he turned her down. God I felt bad, but shes still hot, but her ego took a dash. i had to convince her I guess he was gay :)

 Message 25 of 38 in Discussion 
From: MSN NicknameSmigChickSent: 1/8/2009 5:58 PM
LMAO! Yeah, that's the face-saving mantra, isn't it? "He must be gay."

 Message 26 of 38 in Discussion 
From: MSN NicknameT-o-r-s-t-e-nSent: 1/8/2009 6:08 PM
whoa whoa whoa....not really...the percentage of gals who approach is extremely low compared to that of guys
and i didn't intend to make the fishing analogy come across as making getting girls look to be an easy task--not that i woudl know since i hate fishing and have only done it twice in my life; both were obligatory--only that you have to have a strategy, or a standard, and mine has never been to see if you can get as much as you can get with a broadsword, rather a more selective, whatever, measured approach, which is one out of shyness and reserve as much as it is pickiness
but, i will say girls have the butterflies about having to reject that guys don't have to worry about mostly---which means, in cases of girls doing the approaching, we do, but most guys would not reject, in my view anyway

 Message 27 of 38 in Discussion 
From: MSN NicknameSmigChickSent: 1/8/2009 6:18 PM
I agree that the ratio is still greater on the side of guys doing the approaching, but that gap narrows with each passing year, imo. But I'm also of the opinion that - in the general - because of our socialization processes, which still haven't evolved all that much, girls have a lower sense of self-esteem than boys do, which means that they are more likely to take rejection harder than boys (could explain why it's still more boys doing the approaching, lol).

 Message 28 of 38 in Discussion 
From: MSN NicknameBekka2364Sent: 1/8/2009 6:20 PM
I was a sucker, when I was single in my younger years, I was terrible at saying no. I would always do the fake number, or be really nice until I slipped out of the club without being seen. It was very hard to just say, oh hell no. I feel bad for someone who puts themselves out there. I have some girlfriends who are terribly mean turning someone down, and unless they are skeezy or rude about it, its not like a big deal to just say no thanks, or Im with someone.

 Message 29 of 38 in Discussion 
From: MSN NicknameSmigChickSent: 1/8/2009 6:24 PM
That's another thing girls have trouble with because of socialization - saying no. We're raised to be nice and compliant and all that subservient junk, lol.
I'd actually approach guys if I saw someone I was interested in, I didn't care about the whole "role" thing, lol. But I generally didn't go out to look for someone anyway, I was usually going along with a friend who was on the prowl. So at least I had a decent 'out' if I was approached - I'd just point to my friend and explain that it's her night out, not mine, lol. You'd be surprised how easy it is to have an interesting conversation with a dude once you both know there's no reason for sexual tension or to play the 'game'.

 Message 30 of 38 in Discussion 
From: MSN NicknameBekka2364Sent: 1/8/2009 6:29 PM
HA! That is true didnt think about the way we were raised, my issue was, his only problem is coming up and asking me out, that isn't such a bad thing, so there was no reason to be ugly about it. Now dont get me wrong, when Im out and i dont want to be bothered, or of there is a guy that is WAY too aggressive, sloppy, or wearing leather chaps over his jeans (that was last friday) they get the bek beatdown :)

 Message 31 of 38 in Discussion 
From: MSN NicknameT-o-r-s-t-e-nSent: 1/8/2009 6:38 PM
Not really being able to speak of experience, as obviously I wasn't a girl growing up and being raised, but I did have a sister, or do have one, and I don't recall her being brought up to be subserviant or compliant, lol.  Demure, maybe, but not encouraged to be that way.  I think it's a natural, inherent thing for girls to be that way, for most of them to be that way, which is why nonshy and extroverted girls get called sluts by the rest of them, lol.  But, anyway, rolewise, careerwise, yeah it's good that there is more of a peerlike and collegial setting b/c that's what's best for society, I think, instead of a situation where girls seem like subsidiaries of or subordinates to 'their men' or men.  But, don't try to get away with this, despite the equality, who still has to open the doors?  And so far as that sort of element remains, well thigns are good.  But it's not desired to have girls who are at war with society b/c of their perception of being slighted.  YOu know, like, it's not like guys wnat a girl who will just shut up and follow behind you, but it's not like the alternative to that is a superbitch who always interjects and tries to put her foot down, lol.  There's a balance
anyway, i'm rambling and really have to go since i have to leave in 20 minutes

 Message 32 of 38 in Discussion 
From: MSN NicknameSmigChickSent: 1/8/2009 6:57 PM
wearing leather chaps over his jeans
I have no words for that.....
Torty, not saying that your parents (or anyone's parent, specifically) raise their daughters (or sons, for that matter) specifically this or that way, I'm talking about the influences of society - the roles demonstrated in TV/film, magazines and, most especially, Madison Avenue. I don't think most people realize to what extent this stuff really does mold and influence us, just how pervasive it really is. You'd have to raise your kid in in a literal bubble to keep them from being exposed to these things, and since parents can't know what's going on inside their toddler's head (so they could say things like, 'that message from that commercial is wrong, honey' or whatever), they're not seeing all the 'stuff' that's being processed by those little sponge-minds. By the time we start school, we'll already pretty inculcated, and you don't have to be raised by people who make sure their daughter has a dolly and their son has a toy truck.
Your example of how catty girls can get about girls who are confident enough to not 'wait' something out and play that role is evidence of this societal influence.
Again, I'm talking in the general here. I've known some truly 'hands-on' parents who went out of their way at all times (exhausting) to make sure the messages their kids were getting coincided with an egalitarian viewpoint.

 Message 33 of 38 in Discussion 
From: HazzSent: 1/8/2009 8:32 PM
Torsten, it's been an honor and a pleasure.  You've made me laugh with uncomparable wit and dare I say sheer brilliance!  I sincerely wish you the best of luck in all your present and future endeavours, from babes to business encompassing all ventures in between.  I wish I were more eloquent and able to spill out a fairwell post befitting your writing style, but this will have to do.
Take care.

 Message 34 of 38 in Discussion 
From: MSN NicknameT-o-r-s-t-e-nSent: 1/9/2009 3:17 PM
Oh well that's way too kind of you, Hazz--but I'll gladly accept the compliments.  As well, I wish you success and happiness and good health, and likewise for everyone else too. 
I can't promise to actively engage in emailings, but if any wish to keep a tie to Torty, it is

 Message 35 of 38 in Discussion 
From: MSN NicknameT-o-r-s-t-e-nSent: 1/9/2009 3:21 PM
And with that, it has been fun. 
The End.

 Message 36 of 38 in Discussion 
From: BatmanSent: 1/9/2009 7:34 PM
I'm sure we'll have some sports-oriented, porn-star recollections via e-mail.

Adios Amigo. It's been fun.

(1 recommendation so far) Message 37 of 38 in Discussion 
From: Jnp9Sent: 1/12/2009 2:58 PM
Torty is about as retired as cher and celine dion and barbara streisand lol
he'll be back

 Message 38 of 38 in Discussion 
From: AnmaSent: 1/12/2009 8:25 PM
Add Tina Turner to that list. 

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