Now, Eddie Murphy, I believe, would in fact make a fine Riddler; however, the speculation beforehand that the role would be filled by Johnny Depp leaves the task of being the man in the green question suit perhaps an unfillable order, but surely one where inevitable comparisons to what-Depp-would've-done or how he would've done it will weign on the minds of viewers, probably leaving the majority with that damn what could've been feeling. 

 

But, while I am torn over the addition of Shia Lebouf, or however he spells it--i don't care to get it right--since I still view him as a kid who belongs in teeny movies.  He was good in Suburbia, fine in Transformers, okay in Eagle Eye, ridiculous in Indiana Jones.  See a trend?  I don't know what kind of dirt he has on whatever Hollywood Bigs, but he's like an even wimpier and less credible action hero than Ben Affleck, who is even less believable than the unsatisfactory jobs Nick Cage submits in that same genre.  Shia is a dork.  Not a tough guy.  So seeing him cast in yet another action movie is undeniably upsetting.  Yet, it is for the role of Robin--a total pussy, probably the biggest pussy of all the characters in the history of comic book characters, period.  He's basically gay.  And that's not a knock on gays.  It's not pussy to be gay, but it is pussy if you're not gay and you seem gay.  Clear?  Did I clear it that time?  Anyway, but I still worry given the correct tack of the Bale era Batman movies being into the realm of darkness, accordingly.  Will this mean they will make Robin a more, I dunno, rough sidekick?  Give him more grit?  Try to make him, gasp, formidable even?  I hope not.  I don't want to roll down the aisle laughing my ass off in front of a theatre full of moviewatchers. 

 

But stop the press. . .while it seems certain (according to reports anyway, but what's that worth today?) Shia and Eddie are signed on and locked in, the next rumour is that the role and suit of Catwoman will be filled by the luscious curves of Rachel Weisz.  Meow.  This is a fantastic pick if it's true.  Catwoman is a unique character in comics.  She's sometimes bad but sometimes good, but always dangerous, and always sexy--that is, when she's not her normal self outside of the catsuit.  When she's out of that catsuit--and I've a number of times described this most desirable trait--she's cute.  And innocent, and maybe even sweet, but reserved, etc.  You wouldn't suspect her of being catwoman.  But when she is catwoman, she's sexy, intoxicating and undeniable.  Rachel Weisz herself is one of the rare breeds who manages to pull off being both cute and sexy at the same time.  So is Heidi Klum, as a point of reference.  Well, ok so Heidi is like, extremely rare equal parts cute and sexy at the same time, all the time, like 100% each, and really there's probably no one else that better captures that tonic, but well  Rachel Weisz can flip back and forth between the two with ease.  Plus, she's a good actress.  Furthermore, it's better than the 62-year old Cher who has more bad plastic than my wallet.  Who wants to watch that dried up hag try to be sexy in a catsuit?  Terrible pick.  If it's true that director Nolan wants her to be his first pick (and you know she'd do it, of course she would--it's a matter of the studio and the producers being convinced it's not as bad as an idea as it obviously is, which means they have to be convinced her nasty ass isn't going to turn moviegoers away), then you can count me out. 

 

I'd never see this Batman.  Shia, Cher to follow Heath Ledger?  I don't want to include Eddie Murphy's name with those two, but when you look at the last two, you'd have Ledger's legendary performance followed up by those three?  No thanks.  Viewers were left after the last film wondering how they could follow up Ledger's Joker.  The consensus was--you can't.  Until the rumours swirled that Johnny Depp would be the Riddler and Philip Seymor Hoffman would be the Penguin.  Then, it was like,  Oh that'd be great!  Because it would.  Now, Eddie Murphy might be fine or better than fine, but he won't be great.  Shia might be a good Robin, but c'mon, a good Robin?   That's like saying John Edwards is a good politician--no one cares b/c he sucks and is irrelevant.  Rachel Weisz is the best name of this group, and she's the one that's not a lock?  Jesus.  It's backwards.  She ought to be the lock, Murph and Shia should be the rumours.  But if Gotham--working title of the next batman flick--were peddling Deep-Weisz as the actors in the next installment, it'd be one eagerly anticipated.