wearing leather chaps over his jeans
I have no words for that.....
Torty, not saying that your parents (or anyone's parent, specifically) raise their daughters (or sons, for that matter) specifically this or that way, I'm talking about the influences of society - the roles demonstrated in TV/film, magazines and, most especially, Madison Avenue. I don't think most people realize to what extent this stuff really does mold and influence us, just how pervasive it really is. You'd have to raise your kid in in a literal bubble to keep them from being exposed to these things, and since parents can't know what's going on inside their toddler's head (so they could say things like, 'that message from that commercial is wrong, honey' or whatever), they're not seeing all the 'stuff' that's being processed by those little sponge-minds. By the time we start school, we'll already pretty inculcated, and you don't have to be raised by people who make sure their daughter has a dolly and their son has a toy truck.
Your example of how catty girls can get about girls who are confident enough to not 'wait' something out and play that role is evidence of this societal influence.
Again, I'm talking in the general here. I've known some truly 'hands-on' parents who went out of their way at all times (exhausting) to make sure the messages their kids were getting coincided with an egalitarian viewpoint.