The Amazing News January 4th, 2005
The unstable antics of the AAA manager continues. She disappeared for approximately three weeks. When questioned why she fled she claimed she was afraid the members would take away her PB stash. Now it seems her worst fears may come true. Deliberations are now underway to deprive the AAA manager of all her PB and Peaches. If this happens there's no telling what this desperate woman will do.
The absence of a certain King has sparked rumors. When questioned Zanzibar claimed he injured his eye while trimming hedges. It has been rumored however that Zanzibar was trying to spank monkey butts at the zoo again. Sources say that an enraged monkey threw a bananna and hit Z-Man's eye. Representatives for the King couldn't be reached to dispel these rumors.
The AAA has been blessed with a special new member. The Center of the Universe otherwise known as Jane has taken up residence. As for why she decided to join this group, one can only speculate. Could it be that she just wanted to share her wonderfulness with the AAA's, to give back to the universe? It has been rumored that she was blackmailed to join this group. This reporter's question is, how do you blackmail the center of the universe? Only time will tell.
We hope you'll join us again for our next installment of The Amazing News!