Dear SMUG Mom, first of all, roflmao@ "I am so HAPPY I could shit!!"
And I'm SO happy to hear that your son is well and on the right path and most of all, that he told you he loves you, I know how much you needed to hear that, that's wonderful.
I think all of us at some point have had to bite our lips to stifle the urge to tell someone I Told You So. When we know we're right about something that's one thing but to have someone else acknowledge it gives us a feeling of overall personal satisfaction and it's natural to want to own that and have others (especially the person we were originally trying to convice and trying to prove a point to) give us the thanks and/or appreciation we feel we deserve. In a world full of uncertainties where doing and saying the right thing at the right time doesn't come about every day, it's a personal accomplishment when we feel we've made some sort of difference in someone else's life, it's natural to want to be thanked, acknowledged and appreciated and to know that our actions have somehow made a difference.
Yes, there's a BUT coming and here it is lol. In times where someone close to us comes to the realization that we're NOT totally crazy and they finally see the light about something, we most often feel a mixture of emotions that range from a feeling of relief and being thankful to that eye-rolling, hair pulling sense of overall exasperation where it takes an act of God to keep from saying, Well, DUH! What have I been telling you these last weeks/months/years! In times where we're tempted to say things like this, it's especially important to try to refrain from doing so (and lord knows this Dear Abby is a bit on the lippy side and it's very hard for me to hold back at times lol) because all of us at one time or another have experienced hardships in our lives and have been in painful situations where we ourselves couldn't see clear what the right ansers were, we had to learn our lessons the hard way, when we were ready and receptive enough to learn them. These life lessons cannot be rushed or forced onto us. When we're experiencing hard times we feel like crap enough and it's at these times that invariably some well-meaning friend or family member will tell us to snap out of it, how can we be doing this, what's wrong with us, etc. etc. and though they mean well by saying these things, how do you feel when you hear them? Does hearing this make you want to open up more to this person? NO, it makes us shut down, feel worse and shut that person out and in the future should we find ourselves experiencing another trying time, chances are this supposedly well-meaning person will be the very last person we turn to for support. Also, none of us can change for anyone else and we can't do it at the snap of someone elses' fingers, we must experience life's lessons ourselves and grow on our own, we come out of things on our own time and emerge stronger because of it. Trying to force someone into something before they're ready to accept it is like popping open a chryssalis before the caterpillar has fully formed into a butterfly, it won't work and the butterfly will never fully develop like it would if left on its own.
It's more than normal to want to be validated for being right and appreciated and thanked for our part in things, we have to remember though what the consequences of our words will be; those we're trying to help are in a very vulnerable stage and need to be handled with love and tenderness and be shown our unconditional support and things will fall into place when they're supposed to and in the end, your actions and attitudes will be what the person will remember, they'll remember how great you were toward them during their down times and this will build a solid foundation for your relationship in the future, they'll most likely feel comfortable and more than willing to open up and trust you from then on. When we're in our darkest moments it becomes clear who our friends really are and when we once again see the light and things become clear to us, it's the friends and family members who showed us unconditional love and support who we now appreciate and turn to the most from then on. How we react to someone in trouble direcetly influences our relationship to them in the future.
Any mom wants what's best for her kid and as you're finding out, as kids grow up, they find that their moms know more and more all the time. You won't need to tell your son you were right, he's finding this out for himself and one of these days, you'll hear 3 more words you've been waiting to hear, "You were right!" and you'll hear them from your son.
Robyn 
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