How to be a good wife/partner LOL
(Relationship Humour Article)
Be a good wife. 1955 (keep reading it gets better) Have dinner ready. Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal ready for his return from work. This is a way of letting him know that you have been thinking about him and are concerned about his needs. Most men are hungry when they come home and the prospect of a good meal (especially his favourite dish) is part of the warm welcome needed. Prepare yourself. Take 15 minutes to rest so you will be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your make up, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh-looking. He has just been with a lot of work-weary people. Be a little gay and a little more interesting for him. His boring day may need a lift and one of your duties is to provide it. Clear away the clutter. Make one last trip through the main part of the house just before your husband arrives. Gather up school books, toys, papers etc. and then run a dust cloth over the tables. During the colder months of the year you should prepare and light a fire for him to unwind by. Your husband will feel he has reached a haven of rest and order and it will give you a lift too. After all, catering for his comfort will provide you with immense personal satisfaction.
Minimize all noise. At the time of his arrival eliminate all noise of the washer, dryer or vacuum. Try to encourage the children to be quiet. Be happy to see him. Greet him with a warm smile and show sincerity in your desire to please him. Listen to him. You may have a dozen important things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him talk first, remember his topics of conversation are more important than yours. Make the evening his. Never complain if he arrives home late or goes out to dinner or other places of entertainment without you. Instead, try to understand his world of strain and pressure and his very real need to be at home and relax.
Try to make sure your home is a place of peace, order and tranquility where your husband can renew himself in body and spirit. Don't greet him with complaints and problems. Don't complain if he's late for dinner, or even stays out all night. Count this as minor compared to what he might have gone through that day. Make him comfortable.
Have him lean back in a comfortable chair or have him lie down in the bedroom. Have a cool or warm drink ready for him. Arrange the pillow and offer to take off his shoes. Speak in a low, soothing and pleasant voice. Don't ask him questions about his actions or question his judgment or integrity.
Remember, he is the master of the house and as such will always exercise this will with fairness and truthfulness. [*] When he has had a chance to have his evening meal, clear the dishes and wash up promptly. If your husband should offer to help decline his offer as he may feel obliged to repeat this offer and after a long working day, he does not need the extra work.
Encourage your husband to pursue his hobbies and interests and be supporting without seeming to encroach. If you have little hobbies yourself try not to bore him speaking of these, as women's interests are often rather trivial compared to men's.
At the end of the evening tidy the home ready for the morning and again think ahead to his breakfast needs. Your husband's breakfast is vital if he is to face the outside world in a positive fashion. Once you have both retired to the bedroom, prepare yourself for bed as promptly as possible. Whilst feminine hygiene is of the utmost importance, your tired husband does not want to wait for the bathroom as he would for his train. But remember to look your best when going to bed.
Try to achieve a look which is welcoming without being obvious. If you need to apply face cream or hair rollers wait until he is asleep as this can be shocking to a man last thing at night. When it comes to the possibility of intimate relations with your husband, it is important to remember your marriage vows and in particular your commitment to obey him. If he feels that he needs to sleep immediately then so be it.
In all things be led by your husband's wishes; do not pressure him in any way to stimulate intimacy. Should your husband suggest congress then accept humbly, all the while being mindful that a man's satisfaction is more important than a woman's. When he reaches his moment of fulfillment, a small moan from yourself is encouraging to him and quite sufficient to indicate any enjoyment that you may have had. Should your husband suggest any of the more unusual practices, be obedient and uncomplaining but register any reluctance by remaining silent. It is likely that your husband will then fall promptly asleep, so adjust your clothing, freshen up and apply night time and hair care products. You may then set the alarm so that you can arise shortly before him in the morning. This will enable you to have his morning cup of tea ready when he awakes.
Purports to be an extract from a Home Economics textbook of the early 1950's entitled The Good Wife Guide. The part up to [*] is supposed to have appeared in Housekeeping Monthly dated 13 May 1955 under the heading 'The Good Wife's Guide. ' ----------------------------------------- I almost died when I first read this , however I soon regained my composure and then set about writing a follow up, namely How to be a good Wife/Partner in 2004. here is that follow up, Hope you enjoy. Maria -------------------------------------- How to be a good Wife IN 2004 Have a take away ordered to be delivered sometime after he gets home, if its a bit nippy out turn up the central heating a notch, no worries of noise from things like hoover, washing machine etc, cos they dont get used after 11am, EVER. Plonk the kids infront of their latest computer game and give them a fiver 5$ or 5£ each to stay out of the line of fire if youre pissed off with the old man, or same if wanting a bit of the old yeeha when he gets through the door. Check seams of stockings etc , touch up lipstick, lower top to reveal cleavage, hitch up the skirt.
As soon as he gets through the door, suggest a shower "together", pour him a drink, and head for the bathroom, he can by now undress himself, yes they teach men that too nowadays good isnt it!? 8pm, send the kids to bed, they know the way, no need to take em, unless theyre being awkward of course. Then its back to the better part of the evening, on goes the music off come the clothes, and wheeeeeeeyyyyyyyyyyyyy up the nights yours, eventually stagger up to bed, fall into bed, NAKED , if your Husband doesnt suggest getting jiggy with it, go raise the titanic always works, after a few O`s let him go to sleep, he can bring you tea and toast in bed in the morning, when he gets up and gets the kids off to school, you can venture downstairs sometime after theyve all gone.
If he should suggest some kinky sex then always agree, its more fun all over the house, so do it anywhere the mood takes you, make as much noise as you like and get vocal too, they love it when you talk dirty too them, if all else fails rip his clothes off, and chuck them on the floor, along with your own,
If he should stay out all night or go off somewhere without you, raise hell, do not stand for this kind of inconsiderate treatment, indeed if all else fails go off for a weekend with your mates, he`ll soon get the hang of it, and will think twice before he dares to commit such a dastardly deed again,
If you have a complaint air it, tell him and dont pussy foot around, just come out with it, of course you must allow him the same freedom of speech and right to complain, so be prepared for this eventuality, it might happen, if it does, seethe quietly and plot your revenge,
As 21stCenturyWomen you never need venture into "that room" ( kitchen) you are equiped with all the feminine charms and womanly whiles anyone could ever need and more, so use them to your advantage, he`ll love you all the more for doing so. Every Woman in every country in every town the whole world over has the equipment at her disposal to make her life a blissfully happy and trouble free journey, because she has got what every Man wants, her body woohoo, so use it and ont lose it, make it work for you, and youll all live happily ever after, it just takes a little thought and effort from you, but the rewards for making that effort are phenomenal.
Its your duty as an over sexed species to make sure you make your Man, happy, and he makes you happy too, so just be yourself, and be a horny woman, and let the rest fall nicely into place, the way to be a good wife is to be a horny and up for it wife, works everytime, as tried and tested by yours truly, A well shagged Man is a happy Man. believe it, I know. try it , it works.
written on 29th December 2003. by Maria A.L.Pike all rights reserved.
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