"This Moment" by Disturbed
Camera's fade in on Mark Hellion who is headbanging to Disturbed while his guest co-host, Kristin Holt, is raising the rock sign with her fingers. The camera zooms in on the crowd who are also enjoying Disturbed's song as some of them are jumping up and down while others are just headbanging. Some of them are raising their signs up in the air for their favorite wrestler while others are saying that their least favorite suck. Ladies and gentlemen, it must be BUD's ppv once again. The Rage & Retribution logo appears on the BUDvision and pyros hit the arena in Portland, Oregon as we go back to Mark Hellion and Kristin Holt.
Mark - Its so damn good to be back in the states! This crowd knows how to party!
Kristin - AWESOME!
Mark - Hello everyone, welcome to Rage & Retribution. We are your hosts for this evening, im as always Mark Hellion and next to me is Kirstin Holt who is hopefully the replacement for Jack Shephard because I seriously doubt I want Kevin Pierce next to me again.
Kristin - Hi everyone.
Mark - So we have a great ppv line-up for tonight. Leaky Format will be defending his BUDvision championship in a Waterfalls match against Jake Frost.
Kristin - What the hell is a waterfalls match?
Mark - Well, its simple really...
Mark Hellion scrambles around his paper work and cant find the description for it.
Mark - Dude, I have no idea honestly. Its just one of those crazy things that Leaky comes up with out of the blue and we dont understand it. Kristin, hopefully you'll get used to his shenanigans and we wont have to describe it.
Kristin - He's just a random kind of guy huh?
Mark - Wait a minute. Im getting word here... okay. so its basically. WHAT? So, they are going to fight inside of a fiber glass. The BUDvision title will be suspended 15 feet in the air. In order to win you have to climb the ladder and unhook the belt. Is that it? WHAT? Okay, so here's the twist. Every five minutes water will fall inside the structure and each time it falls, the water will get hotter. So once it reaches its boiling point, you have no choice but to scramble on up there.
Kristin - Im still confused.
Mark - Get used to it. I been working here for several years and I still dont get him.
Kristin - Lets just tell these lovely fans what else they bought Rage & Retribution for.
Mark - Good idea Kristin! Not only this match folks, but we also have Syck coming back from his retirement to face the 7 foot monster, Kryptt.
Kristin - As well as the up and comer Andrew Bradford taking on the legendary whorish queen Gypsy for a shot at the Franchise title. Will Andrew continue to be new hot sensation or will Gypsy end up facing her tag team partner, Misery, who is also in a match against Taio.
Mark - In an epic battle of evil vs... well... evil. Pyretta Blaze will wage war against the man that ended the lives of both Midnight and Ravyn Crow. Earlier this month, controversy surrounded as the cops were called to investigate this murder and the number 1 suspect on the list was Karime Atora. But in the end, it was their number 1 enemy, Joachim Armster who destroyed them. Now Pyretta is looking for revenge as we have installed security cameras all over the Blood Manor.
Kristin - Lets not forget our two double main event matches. The Bytch title is being defended by White Trash against the wiccan force, Karime Atora. This match should be one for the history books as both have stopped at nothing to make sure they end up being number 1.
Mark - And finally! Straight up rematch from last month. Drew Stevenson vs Kevin Sane 2 for the BUD Heavyweight Championship. Kevin Sane, the student defeated Drew Stevenson, the teacher, last month at Vendetta. During the whole Lethal Lottery fiasco to determine the Ultimate Tag Team Champions, Drew Stevenson showed his aggressive side and nearly took out Kevin Sane for good as well as his career. Tonight, both of them will square off for the second time. Will the student outshine the teacher or will the teacher give the student a lesson in respect?
- Match 1 -
El Lunatico vs Captain Anarchy
Stips: Broken Glass/Barbwire Bout
THC Championship Bout
Lily: The following contest is for the THC Championship!
"El Mariachi" by Antonio Banderas y Los Lobos plays while Mr. Estrada makes his way out to the ring with his client, El Lunatico. They step in the ring and Mr. Estrada claps his hands as El Lunatico gets on the top rope looking confused at the crowd.
Lily: In the ring at this time, from Tijuana, Mexico... EL LUNATICO!
The lights go out completely, and slowly fade up to a deep red. As "Captain Anarchy" starts to play over the arena's p.a system, a burst of bright red pyro goes off. The Cap'n steps into view and makes a b-line for the ring, ready to fight El Lunatico. As he gets to the ring, before getting inside, he throws both hands in the air as more pyro explodes from the corner posts. He then grabs ahold of the top rope and pulls himself up, and steps over to the inside with his THC belt still around his waist.
Mark - Kristin, we are about to see a straight up high flying lucha libre fight.
Kristin - I've been to Mexico, I know what they do.
Both men step forward and the bell rings. They lock-up and immidiately El Lunatico tries to do an arm drag but the Captain is too big for El Lunatico to lift him up. Instead, Captain Anarchy grabs the neck of El Lunatico, lifts him in the air, and chokeslams him on the mat. The Captain immidiately goes for the cover... 1...2..KICK OUT! The Captain picks up El Lunatico, irish whips him to the ropes, El Lunatico comes back and The Captain raises his leg for a big boot but El Lunatico ducks it, gets behind the Captain and knife edge chops him on his back. Lunatico turns the Captain around and delivers another knife edge chop to the Captain's chest. Lunatico pushes the Captain to the ropes and whips him to the other and as the Captain comes back, Lunatico double drop kicks him in the face to try and take him down. El Lunatico stands up and looks at the Captain who is shaking it off. El Lunatico runs to the ropes and tries to hit another double drop kick to the face but he once again just shakes it off. El Lunatico goes for another double drop kick and is another fail as the Captain shakes it off.
Mark - What the hell does Lunatico have to do to finish him off?
Kristin - Look for weapons, this is a THC match.
El Lunatico jumps out of the ring, grabs a chair nearby, slides back in the ring. El Lunatico folds the chair and slams it on the back of the Captain who writhes in pain. El Lunatico waits for the opportunity to strike as The Captain turns around and El Lunatico slams the chair over his massive head leaving a dent on the chair.
Kristin - The Captain is still standing!
El Lunatico is frustrated as he drops the chair, kicks the Captain in the gut, and sets him up between his legs. El Lunatico tries to pick up the Captain but he is 200 lbs. heavier than El Lunatico who gets back tossed. El Lunatico immidiately gets up, turns around, and watches as the Captain is running after him at full speed. However El Lunatico slides out of the ring and starts yelling in spanish at the crowd.
Mark - Is the Captain going up?
Kristin - MAKE IT HAPPEN CAPTAIN!
Captain Anarchy gets on the top rope, jumps off of it, and hits a Suicide Dive Splash on to El Lunatico who happened to turn around at that moment.
Mark - OH MY GOD!
Kristin - I think El Lunatico is dead!
Mark - I think both of them are dead! A man that size does not need to jump off of the top rope!
Crowd: HOLY SHIT, HOLY SHIT, HOLY SHIT, HOLY SHIT
Captain Anarchy gets up, grabs El Lunatico off the ground, picks him up, and hits an Overhead Belly to Belly Suplex on the outside. El Lunatico writhes in pain as his back is hurting from what he just went through. Captain Anarchy looks under the ring and takes out a table. He sets it up on the outside between the ring apron and the guardrail and walks over to pick up El Lunatico who is still hurting. The Captain picks up El Lunatico by his mask and throws him back on the ring apron. He lifts him up for a crucifix and as he goes down he hits a piledriver through the table.
Kristin - THAT HAS GOT TO HURT!
Mark - That right there was straight out of The Captain's Cookbook #42!
Crowd: HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT!
Kristin - This has got to be the best start of a ppv ever!
Mark - And it looks like El Lunatico is bleeding now.
The Captain picks up El Lunatico, throws him inside the ring, and waits in the corner as he watches El Lunatico start to slowly get up. He turns around and The Captain hits a Goldberg style spear on him.
Mark - RIOT CONTROL!
Kristin - I dont think The Captain is done toying with him.
Mark - He could win this match right now.
The Captain raises his hands in the air as he lifts up El Lunatico, whips him to the ropes, and The Captain goes to the ropes as well. El Lunatico comes back and The Captain hits him with a running shoulder tackle to the outside.
Mark - THUNDERRRRRRRRRRDOOOOOMEEEEE!!!
Kristin - MY GOD! I think El Lunatico is dead now!
The Captain smiles as he looks down at the fallen Lunatico, lifts him up for one more move as he drives his middle finger into a cut throat motion. He lifts up El Lunatico and hits a powerbomb but keeps holding on to him. He hits another powerbomb and keeps holding on to him as well. He finally lifts him up over his shoulders and hits a Death Valley Bomb and pins him. 1...2...3. Its over.
Mark - My god! That was the best opening match I have ever seen.
Kristin - Not bad for someone who is on Chaos Theory.
"Captain Anarchy" by Anti-Flag hits the speakers and The Captain raises his hands in the air as well as the THC belt as he wraps it around his waist. He gets out of the ring and out of the carnage he just made with El Lunatico who is being looked at by EMT's and walks out towards the back.
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