Being In My Head Is Like ....

Hi all,

As you all know, our sweet baby boy Kaden had come down with a para
flu close to two weeks ago. On Thursday, Feb 7th, we did an x-ray
which confirmed Kaden's lung had collapsed and that there was a
viral pneumonia present. After this news our son got progressivly
worse by the hour.

By Saturday, Kaden's lungs were about 80 percent full of fluid and
the bi-pap that they had him on 24/7 was doing most of his breathing
for him. It seemed that his days were the toughest on his little
body but in the evenings, Kaden would wake up for about 2 hours and
look at daddy and me, watch a little of his favourite cartoons on
Treehouse then fall back asleep..

Tuesday morning the resident called us in to see another x-ray and
by this point his lungs were about 95 % full and it was explained to
us that if we removed the bi-pap he would surely pass. We continued
with all of his treatments to see if he could improve as the doc
said we will give him every chance we can..

Kaden was administered Lasicks (sp) as he was not peeing. With this
drug his body would force him to pee, the idea being to clear some of
this fluid from the chest area. Shortly after midnight, now
Wednesday the 13th the RT's came in and told us that Kaden's cap gas
came back as 200. She explained that for Kaden's age and weight he
should have only been about 40 points. She said that she has never
in her career seen anyone with levels that high that wasn't in a
coma.. So that tells me he faught so hard to stay with us.

By 1:00 am Kaden opened his eyes and started at his daddy and myself
until about 3:30 am, not once turning his eyes away. We told him
that we loved him, that he was a brave boy and that it was ok if he
was ready to go to a better place. The doc then let us know it was
time to end this struggle as there was no medical way they could
help him, he was dying to to the poison from the CO2.

I got comfy in a chair and we removed Kaden's mask so that we could
see his face when he died. He just started at me, so helplessly as
he was so very weak ... Again we told him we loved him and that it
was ok to go now, that he faught so hard and we understood how tired
he was. My sweet baby stared into my eyes with such a look it broke
my heart into pieces, I will never forget it as long as I live ...
Kaden then took about 15 breaths and he was gone...

We were so blessed to have him in our lives and we know in our
hearts that our son touched so many people, there were cuddlers on
the unit that would come to him night or day, nurses that would
argue over who got to take care of him that shift etc, and he would
smile, clap his little chubby hands and dance for anyone who
approached him. He was such a bright light and I can only hope that
he is in a better place now ... Never again having to endure the
invasiveness of a suction, a cap gas, colds, flu's and other
bugs ...

After Kaden's passing we asked all who were there to leave the room.
We changed and bathed our son, brushed his beautiful thick hair and
got him dressed in his cutest outfit .. nothing fancy though, he
just wore his "funny Kaden clothes" (smiles) We sat with him for 4
hours, listening to classical music and telling him all the things
we had in our hearts. We were also given these two piece ceramic
hearts from the girls on the unit. We tied each smaller piece to one
of Kaden's wrists and kept the other two for ourselves.

Kaden is to be cremeated within the next two to three days and the
service will follow within a week or two depending on how we are
feeling and what has been arranged so far.

Thank you all again for your support over the past year or so and
please if you can, take a minute to say a prayer for Kaden who was
so couragous and faught so very hard to stay with us .. And just so you all know, Kaden was on a small amount of morphine and did not feel any pain when he passed away ... Everything we had hoped his death would be, was and that is a great comfort to us during this hard time.

Will write more when I have had some time ..

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Being In My Head Is Like ....	[email protected]