1. Your houseplants are alive, and you can't smoke
   any of them.
2. Having s*x in a twin bed is out of the question.
3. You keep more food than beer in the fridge.
4. 6:00 AM is when you get up, not when you go to
   bed.
5. You hear your favorite song on an elevator.
6. You watch the Weather Channel.
7. Your friends marry and divorce instead of hook up
   or break up.
8. You go from 130 days of vacation time to 14.
9. Jeans and a sweater no longer qualify as "dressed
   up."
10. You're the one calling the police because those
    %&@# kids next door won't turn down the stereo.
11. Older relatives feel comfortable telling sex
    jokes around you.
12. You don't know what time Taco Bell closes
    anymore.
13. Your car insurance goes down and your car
    payments go up.
14. You feed your dog Science Diet instead of
    McDonald's leftovers.
15. Sleeping on the couch makes your back hurt.
16. You no longer take naps from noon to 6 PM!
17. Dinner and a movie is the whole date instead of
    the beginning of one.
18. Eating a basket of chicken wings at 3 AM would
    severely upset, rather than settle, your stomach.
19 If you're a gal, you go to the drug store for
   ibuprofen and antacid, not condoms and pregnancy
   tests.
20. A $4.00 bottle of wine is no longer "pretty good
    stuff."
21. You actually eat breakfast food at breakfast
    time.
22. "I just can't drink the way I used to,"replaces,

      "I'm never going to drink that much again."
23. 90% of the time you spend in front of a computer
    is for real work.
24. You drink at home to save money before going to
    a bar.
25. You read this! entire list looking desperately
    for one sign that doesn't apply to you and can't
    find one to save your sorry old butt. Then you
    forward it to a bunch of old pals & friends 'cause
    you know they'll enjoy it & do the same!