Aries (March 21 - April 19) You will find a many-legged creature under the fridge. Unfortunately, it will be the size of a small horse, and actually will be making off with the fridge, when you spot it. My advice? Let him have it. Taurus (April 20 - May 20) Good day to discuss zoospores (motile usually naked and flagellated asexual spores, especially of an alga or lower fungus) with casual acquaintances. Gemini (May 21 - June 20) Today you will be suddenly struck by what a genius Norman Rockwell was, and how unappreciated (in the major art circles) he remains. You will vow to do something about it. Cancer (June 21 - July 22) Someone will soon approach you with an idea. Stay well clear of it. Leo (July 23 - August 22) In a savage reaction against what you view as New Age Wooly-Mindedness, you will write a best-selling book titled I'm Ok, You're A Twerp. Later, people will often regard you as having "defined" the current decade. Virgo (August 23 - September 22) You will attain your dream of having your own cooking show, but it will become tiresome when you have to battle your way past people dressed as chickens to get into the studio each day. Libra (September 23 - October 22) Someone you don't like will make repeated attempts to talk to you today. The best way to handle this is to stuff extremely crunchy food in your mouth during each attempt, and then mumble "What?" while looking at something slightly over their left shoulder. Scorpio (October 23 - November 21) Excellent day for standing barefoot on the lawn and wiggling your toes. Under no circumstance should you stand barefoot on the lawn and wiggle your nose. It simply isn't done. Sagittarius (November 22 - December 21) You will decide to change your life by taking up fishing. Unlike the average person, however, you will be "strictly bass". One must have standards, after all. Capricorn (December 22 - January 20) You will have a visit from "The Scourge of Valderia". He's thin, small, balding, wears little round glasses, and dresses in a rumpled blue suit. Still you don't want to cross him. Aquarius (January 21 - February 18) Excellent time to show the world that plaid and stripes do too mix. (Tip #12 of Arnold Pinknobble's "How To Get Noticed".) Pisces (February 19 - March 20) Soon, your cup will runneth over. Then you'll have to moppeth it up.