Soon an assistant manager approaches and says, 'Sir, the
Crisco is in aisle 3.
The old guy replies, 'Oh, I'm not looking for the cooking
stuff. I'm calling my wife. She's in here somewhere'
The clerk is astonished. 'Your wife's name is Crisco?'
The old guy answers, 'Oh no, no, no. I only call her that
when we're out in public.'
'I see,' said the clerk.
'What do you call her at home?'
'Lard ass.'