Don't let them get under your kind.  It's only words.  There is absolutely nothing to be ashamed of because your sons decided on a military career.  It's something to be proud of.  Guess that family can't take the dicipline it takes to be in the service.  Not to mention the fact that probably some of your family did their required years when they joined then they found other legitimate means of support.  A few of my cousins (LOL I only have 5 and 3 were career military) made out in life extremely well because of their military careers and they are quite successful in business' they started after they did their 20+ years.