The Forgotten Generation

By: Virginia Collie-Rodriguez

As I struggled through the doors at the Retirement Center,

weighted down with my mom's overnight bags as well as my

own, my first sight was several ladies sitting on the couch in

the entry as if waiting for some event to be happening soon.

I've always enjoyed this center when I've visited it the few

times before. It's rooms are full of light and very open in its
design.

Setting my bags down, I went in to see the manager. Pulling

his bifocals off his face he greeted me warmly. After explaining

who I was and my mom's name, he said, "Oh, we've been

expecting you!" He reached up and grabbed the guestroom

key and handed it to me. I had called in ahead of time earlier

in the week for a "test run" for my mom and I to stay overnight

in their guestroom. Mom had been diagnosed with Alzheimer's

earlier in the year and my family has been trying to determine

where the best place for her to live. We felt their program of

allowing visitors to stay a few nights at their facility would offer

her the opportunity to see its setting in a relaxed manner. It also

gave us the opportunity to observe others there and get their

feedback on the care they are receiving. Mom's home of 40

years no longer interests her and she's fearful of staying by

herself. We have narrowed our search to two centers, as well

as the possibility of her living with my older sister and her

husband. In her condition, we don't know whether she could

handle independent living.

In her red knitted cap and red jacket she looked cute even

though her confusion on her face was apparent. As a lost

child she obediently followed me up the elevator into our

room. After I put our belongings away, I was impressed with

the decor. Beautiful homemade accessories graced the

room to give it a homey touch. It was actually much nicer

than the motels I've stayed in the past! The entire center

looked like a museum with its Norman Rockwell's pictures,

crystal and porcelain figurines and fancy furniture. Slowly we

walked the hallways to introduce ourselves to the residents

and see where everything was located.

Upstairs, sitting at a table, were four people playing cards. By

the looks on their faces, you knew without a doubt, they were

serious card players, yet everyone was quick to be friendly to

us. One gentleman was nice and had a quick sense of humor

and a very old lady sat next to him. Mrs. J had a bright gleam

in her eye as she played her cards. Looking at her hands, I knew

she had to be VERY old yet her mannerisms and behavior didn't

reflect such a thing. I learned later she was 91. She is a godly

woman who is quick to hug and spread her love to everyone

who would receive it. She invited us to look at her room and we

sat and chatted with her for about 30 minutes. She showed us

some of the 30 cross-stitch quilts she had done. She was

extremely proud of them. She says she stays active when

she is in her room which was not too often. She showed us

her lamp that was 200 years old that was gorgeous!

Mom wanted to meet with a friend she knew from her church

so we looked up her room number and we paid her a visit.

During our stay, her insight and information regarding the center

was very valuable and she invited us to dinner in the dining hall.

She was quick to explain the routines there and we were very

grateful. "Now, if you lay your coffee cup on its side, " she said,

"it means that you want tea. BUT ... if you turn it right side

up-then you want coffee. They only serve it three times during

the meal, so be sure you drink it slowly!" I'm thinking to

myself -- I need to take notes to get all these details straight

in my head! She says, "When you are through with your

dishes, lay them on your left side so the servers can remove

them." During dessert time, my mom starts grabbing off the

food cart. Mom's friend quickly states, "Oh, we don't do that!

The servers need to do it." Mom had quickly grabbed several

desserts which turned out to be for the diabetic residents.

As I sat in the dining room, I thought of the accumulated

amount of wisdom in all the ages represented there. I envisioned

the wonderful stories with each person that needed to be

told to enrich the next generation. I don't want our elderly

forgotten and overlooked. They've invested their lives in

so many different ways. Each one of them is like a book

ready to reveal a tremendous story.

After dinner, a Brownie troop of 2nd graders entertained

20 of us with singing and sign language. I saw the twinkle

in their eyes and smiles on the girls faces and it certainly

blessed me as they went through their routine. At the end

of the program, they handed out carnations to everyone.

Later in the evening, we watched 8 ladies rehearsing their

program with the chimes. The blending of the sounds was heavenly!

Behind the doors of many Retirement homes are people

that many others forget. In our rush of daily life, we pass

them without a thought. The truth is that there lies a treasure

waiting to be exposed. If we take the time to spend a little

time with them we would be amazed in what we discover.

I'm very thankful I was given an opportunity to spend time

with them and their lives have certainly enriched mine. Their

unconditional warmth was given to my mother and myself

and will be a memory I'll certainly treasure.

With the day behind us, we retired for the night. I was

amazed at the humor, friendliness and helpfulness we

received from people who had been strangers to us. They

embraced us and made us feel welcome. I KNOW I'm getting

old when I have a great time at a retirement center! If the day

comes that I need a place to live, I know their facility would

welcome me. I just pray it won't be too soon!

Virginia Collie-Rodriguez