The following warning labels will be placed immediately on all varieties of alcohol containers:
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a retard.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your friends over and over again that you love them
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at four in the morning
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause pregnancy
WARNING: The consumption of alcahol may Mack you tink you can tipe real gode...