</MYMAILSTATIONERY> The Shadow Walker
There is not one of us who has not been taken in by a
Shadow Walker. What is this thing that causes so much
distress in our lives?
A Shadow Walker is a person who wears many masks (we
shall use the empirical "he" here; not to denote
gender, but for simplicity). He is the person who
oozes charm to everyone he meets. He offers help and
assistance, support, loving kindness. He is the
perfect good will ambassador with lofty ideals, great
concern for the welfare of mankind and a deep belief
in the brotherhood of all people. What a wonderful
person! You get to know him. You relax around
him, begin to rely upon his word and his judgment. You
confide in him about your work, your family life and
the most personal aspects of yourself. He is your
friend. He would do anything for you. You trust him.
He is not real. It is a mask he wears in public that
has nothing to do with the reality of who he is.
The Shadow Walker will take all your confidences and
use them against you. He begins to gossip about you.
He twists your words to use to his own best advantage.
He makes false accusations about you and, because
everyone knows what a wonderful and caring person
heis, he is believed. He steals your thoughts, words,
and the plans you may have shared with him, and makes
them his own. He takes full credit while laughing at
you for being a fool. You have been betrayed. He takes
advantage of every good thing he has learned about
you, and then turns his back on you. He is finished
with you. You have nothing more for him to take.
He moves on to his next mark, oozing charm and self
confidence.
The Shadow Walker is dangerous. He has destroyed
marriages, stolen lives, cost some their jobs,and
driven some to violence, alcoholism, drug abuse, or
suicide. More often than not, the Shadow Walker is the
product of an environment which battered his own view
of himself until he was convinced that he had no
value. His self esteem and feelings of personal value
and self worth have been virtually destroyed. At some
point, he has learned to lie, to steal, to manipulate
and to "con" in order to create an image of the person
he considers successful. He does this by absorbing the
heart, spirit and essence of those he admires but can
never be. Nothing is beyond him, and nothing is sacred
to him. He has learned how to create the mask
that will give him access to people he considers
valuable to him. He actively searches them out. He
uses them up and throws them away.
How do you fight a Shadow Walker? You can't. Once you
have been chosen as his mark, everything you do will
be used against you. If you speak out against him, you
will only arouse sympathy in others for him. If you
try to fight him, they will defend him. He is a master
at his game, and you don't even know the rules. The
natural reaction is to strike back in anger and
righteous indignation. The need for revenge is strong.
You have been betrayed at every level of your being,
and the hurt you feel is intense. Sometimes, a
financial loss may also be involved. If there is legal
action you can take, then take it and leave the
details of the battle to others.
I have worked with many people who have suffered at
the hands of such deceivers. The only way to
effectively deal with a Shadow Walker is to distance
yourself, cut your losses, learn your lesson, and walk
away. Rebuild your own dignity and value as a human
being. Don't allow your feelings against the Shadow
Walker to alter your dealings with other honorable and
ethical people. Control the impulse to be overly suspicious and distrustful of everyone. It's a
natural survival instinct after such an experience,
but remember what life was like before the Shadow
Walker. You are a good and honorable person. This is
the belief and attitude that will carry you through
the ordeal. Be strong, for you walk in the light.
| </MYMAILSTATIONERY> |
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