NUDGING WITHOUT NAGGING

We've all been there. We want to encourage a child to do her homework,
or a spouse to complete his project, or a colleague to complain less
and act more. How can we encourage without criticizing, berating or
pushing too hard?

Here are three techniques that can help you nudge without nagging.

* Show appreciation.

Novelist Arnold Bennett had a publisher who boasted about the
extraordinary efficiency of his secretary. One day while visiting the
publisher's office, Bennett asked her: "Your boss claims you're
extremely efficient. What's your secret?"

"It's not my secret," said the assistant, "it's his." She went on to
tell him that her boss always acknowledged and appreciated everything
she did, regardless how insignificant. That was why she worked so hard
for him. Her boss' appreciation nudged her toward constant
improvement.

* If possible, keep it light-hearted.

The careful use of humor can work in any relationship where nudging
may be required. One wife used it effectively when she found herself
on the verge of nagging her husband to repair the lawn mower. He had
promised to fix it, but the grass grew ever taller while he
procrastinated.

Then one day he came home and found her seated on the ground snipping
grass with sewing scissors, one blade at a time. He watched in
amazement and then went into the house.
When he returned, he handed her a toothbrush. "Honey," he said, "when
you finish cutting the grass would you mind sweeping the sidewalks?"

They both laughed. And, more importantly, the mower was fixed.

* Be polite and respectful.

Sometimes it's more about how you say it than what you say. People
respond best when they are respected and valued.

Elizabeth Harrison stated, "Those who are lifting the world upward and
onward are those who encourage more than criticize." Try these simple
techniques next time you want to nudge without nagging.

Steve Goodier

Here are 7 tips for making and nurturing real connections in life that will serve you:

1. Be yourself. Be real. Pretense in any situation can be dangerous. When you meet someone, simply be yourself. You may choose to put your best foot forward and be “your best self�?and that is perfect. People who resonate with your personality and energy will be drawn to you. You will find that being yourself at all times, makes for a life filled with ease, grace and less stress.

2. Be likeable. You know there is a part of you that is truly likeable and engaging and attractive. There is a part of you that people are drawn to and want to be around. If you take stock of how you are “being,�?you will know whether you are being charming or uninviting. Always “check your attitude�?at the door and choose to be the likeable you!

3. Express gratitude freely. It is said that you learn much about an individual’s character by how she speaks of others. Know that words have power. Any thanks or praise therefore, that you can give about another person gives power to everyone in the transaction. Power is heightened for the individual you share it with, the individual you share it about and also for you. It is always appropriate to express gratitude.

4. Be present. No matter where you are or what you are doing, give yourself freely to the people that surround you, the task at hand and the individuals who will be effected by your actions, words and presence. Put aside the chatter of your mind, clear your plate and simply be present. Being present is a gift for you and everyone else touched in the moment.

5. Make new connections at every opportunity. Even if you think you don’t have time for another person in your life, think again. There is always room for someone with good energy, an open spirit and the “right�?connections. When you choose to expand the circles of your life, you are choosing to expand yourself. Expansion is exciting, empowering, exhilarating and fun. You never know where a connection will lead, because you never know who or what anyone knows until you open up to them. The next person you meet may be holding the answer to your questions. She may be the perfect connection for you. Get connected.

6. Reach out and touch someone. The human touch contains more energy than any word, thought or material item. Touching someone makes an instant connection. They will pay closer attention to you, they will feel more a part of the conversation and they will feel that you care about them. A touch can be a small gesture like a handshake or a hand placed on their arm or shoulder. A touch can also be a bigger gesture like a hug, a kiss or holding hands. No matter the length or intensity, a touch commits your energy to the other person and creates and immediate physical bond. This will create, enhance and strengthen your intellectual and emotional bond and supply meaning to the conversation, the topic and your relationship. Perhaps above all, touching feels good.

7. Use wisely your power of choice. We all have the same 86,400 seconds in each day. How do you use yours? Are you honoring yourself and your time? If you do not have a big, huge “why�?for how you are spending your time and who you are sharing it with, and if you are not enjoying yourself ~ do something else. Seriously, find other people to hang around with, do business with and live with. Move if you have to�?physically move from your space, whether this is taking two steps back or moving to another community. The connections of your life matter. Find something and someone you completely love. Find something and someone who makes your heart sing. Find something and someone who inspires you. When you do, you will know the beauty and joy of real connections. Today is not a dress rehearsal.

It’s your life. These are your connections. You get to choose. Choose to create and nurture connections that serve you. And always, always, choose to enjoy the process. Now, that’s Powerful!

©Sue Urda.

Most of the things you worry about are not worth the time and trouble you take to worry. And all that needless worry distracts you from other, more productive, creative and joyful things you could be doing.

With every worry also comes the option to let it go. You can feel the worry, see it for what it is, and then choose to immediately walk away from it.

As soon as you do, your mind becomes vastly more clear and more focused. Your spirit experiences a glorious refreshment.

When your mind is filled with worry, just imagine how wonderful it would be to have that heavy burden lifted clean away. Imagine it, and then choose the simple act of doing it.

Choose to walk away from worry, and lift that burden from yourself. In a moment, your worry can be gone.

Breathe in the sweet, refreshing air of freedom, clarity and effectiveness. Walk away from worry, and walk forward with positive purpose.

Ralph Marston