BRINGING HARMONY TO DISCORD

 

I once talked with a couple about their marriage. They completed
personality "testing" and were discussing some differences that had
frustrated them both over the years. I summarized some of those
differences for them.

 

"You are sensitive," I said to the husband. He nodded affirmatively.
"You try to keep harmony in the relationship. It is important to you
that you don't have too much conflict, so you tend to give in often
in order to keep the peace." He agreed.

 

"You like affection and will often reach out and hold your wife's
hand for no reason at all." He smiled and nodded.

 

"And you remember birthdays and special days - these are important to
you." He continued to smile and nod.

 

"And you particularly appreciate it when she says, 'I love you.' In
fact, you need her to say that at least once a day."

 

"EXACTLY!" he exclaimed with a broad smile, looking at his wife.

 

Then I spoke to her. "And you appreciate his sensitivity, but you
tend to be more rational and logical." She smiled and nodded.

 

"You can be more objective than he can about personal criticism and
may sometimes be too blunt with him." They both agreed.

 

"You like affection, but you don't require it like he does. If you
hold hands or not, that is unimportant to you." She continued to nod.

 

"And you also appreciate the fact that he remembers those special
days, but if he were to forget one, that would not upset you. In
fact, you have to remember to say, 'I love you' to him, not because
you don't love him, but because saying it is just something you don't
think about often." She agreed, looking at her husband.

 

"Saying words like 'I love you' does not mean the same thing to you
as it does to him. You know you love him. In fact, you looked into
his eyes when you got married and said, 'I love you' and figured
that, if you ever change your mind, you'll let him know."

 

"EXACTLY!" she exclaimed, with a smile.

 

They told me that the discussion helped them to simply understand one
another and to accept themselves. Rather than trying to change the
other to get their own needs met, they could more easily appreciate
their differences and also appreciate themselves as they are.

 

They found harmony where there used to be discord.

 

We don't get harmony when everybody sings the same note. Only notes
that are different can harmonize. The same is true with people.

 

Steve Goodier

 

 

You have the right to be treated well, to value your own
intelligence, to create a satisfying life for yourself and to
value your own creativity.

 

You are worthy of happiness, health, success and love.
You deserve to have good friends, fulfilling personal
relationships, and strong family bonds.

 

No matter how many difficulties you face in a day,
remember to value yourself.  You deserve to have a great
relationship with you.  Because, you are worth it!

 

 

 

Look closely, and you will see the bright spots in this day. Give your attention, your thoughts and your efforts to those bright spots, and they will grow even brighter.

Look closely, and you will see the positive possibilities in this moment, in this situation. Focus your energy on the good and valuable things you can do now, and the best of those possibilities will become real.

Though many circumstances may not be perfect, there are perfectly good, positive, life-affirming responses available to you. Respond to life from a perspective of love, and your response will have real, lasting power.

Life is rich and complicated, ever-changing and coming at you from every direction. You always have the opportunity to make the very most of it all.

You can grab on to those bright spots and nurture them toward magnificent proportions. In the midst of all the noise and confusion, you can take a glimmer of hope and build it into a dominant force.

Whatever may be going on in your life, there are bright spots that you can find and build upon and utilize to create great value. Even now those bright spots are there, ready for you to develop into something truly special.

 Ralph Marston