EVALUATE YOUR MOTIVES
Proverbs 12:15 says, “The way of a fool seems right to him, but a wise man listens to advice.�?
Motives are tricky. They’re often deceptive and difficult to uncover. Ten people can do the same thing, but they might do it for ten different reasons. Yet motives are tremendously important. In the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus encouraged his followers to pray, fast, and give-but not so that anyone else would know they were doing those good things (see Matthew 6:1-18). He knew that too often we do things--even good things--for selfish reasons.
Human beings are masters at rationalization. A song from a few years ago tried to rationalize a person’s desire for sex with these words: “How can love be wrong when it feels so right?�?We often assume something is right just because we want to do it. But that attitude is no different from animal instinct. We just have prettier words to describe it, such as passion and romance and desire.
Some people think they can get away with anything as long as they attach God to it. I’ve talked to teenagers who tried to tell me, “I know God wanted me to have sex.�?
So I asked, “How do you know that?�?
“I just know,�?came the reply.
Sometimes reason takes a backseat to raw selfishness. I’ve talked to young people who’ve stolen things, and when they were caught, they came up with this brilliant explanation: “I needed it more than he did.�?That’s deep.
All of our decisions seem right to us initially. It’s only later that we realize just how stupid or short-sighted they really were. What’s more, many of us are masters at twisting words to make our actions sound reasonable. If you’re uncertain about your motives for making a certain decision, ask yourself these questions:
* How strongly do I feel about one solution over another?
* Am I so biased toward one decision that I’m not open to other ideas?
* Do I know deep inside that my desire is wrong?
While it’s difficult to uncover every bias, it’s good to force yourself to think about some of the ways in which you’re influenced. If you’re not sure how strong your biases are, answer the following questions:
1. Do you typically favor one political party? If so, then in just one sentence, explain why.
2. Are there people in your life whose side you’d take even if they’re wrong?
3. List the five worst sins a person can commit.
4. What quality do you admire most in people?
5. Why do you dress in the style you do? With what look do you identify the most?
6. Which is more important to you: finishing a task or interacting with someone?
7. Do you typically prepare in advance or do you wait until the last minute?
8. If you’re supposed to meet someone, how late can the person be before you get annoyed with her?
9. What kinds of people make you cringe inside?
10. What do you think about people from other ethnic backgrounds?
11. Which groups do you admire and which do you not respect? Explain your attitude in one sentence.
Once you answer these questions, you’ll find that you definitely have opinions on some matters--sometimes strong, emotionally driven opinions. Take a moment to reflect on how that might bias you in a given situation.
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Taken from “Wisdom On... Making Good Decisions�?by Mark Matlock, copyright 2008, Zondervan/Youth Specialties. Used by permission. |
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