Mr. Rosenberg Dream, (continued)

 

.............The reason his pointing to the empty cart (a symbol for me in the dream state).......and seeing nothing in the cart, and warning me not to end up like this; I couldn't understand because I loved him so, (in my heart) as a young woman, and now, couldn't believe, he "felt" this way about himself, that his life had been wasted or empty.?

 

.............................................................

 

I decided that I should interpret and look at this as a dream of potentcy with a deliberate message to me.  In otherwords,IF I had "made up a story about him" - it would have been as I envisioned him, wonderful, funny, a big heart for the handicapped, always taking time for the young whether it was the handicapped boy who shined his shoes twice a week or me, a young girl at the time.

 

But, instead the dream was the opposite........he was telling me, (I wasn't coloring him in any way).......that he felt "empty" and warning me that I should work hard in this life not to end up the same way.

 

Perhaps (in retrospect) I reasoned;, his marriage to Dorothea, (which I became well aware was a sham) an attempt for a poor woman, who grew up in a rather poorer area, much younger then he, (she was approx. 40something when he was 62 or so)........he must have become AWARE himself, prior to dying, that she never did love him.

 

WHY then he would "feel" as he may have in the dream state I cannot say, but many people in our business world, (the Insurance Industry ) at the time, felt he was a very mean person, many people did but I did not.

 

I saw him as a person of strength, dignity, and no bull crap.

Another man I went to work for who owned a company asked me about him, and said, he was "very hard to talk to and deal with", which of course I never felt this for myself.

 

He was a Virgo (I think), and me a Cappy, and we liked each other, beyond just the work.,and I think we respected each other greatly, as he saw me as a potential "Dorothea" who he adored, and knew she was an excellent secretary, very efficient, very proficient in every way.

 

But perhaps, even though I saw him one way, he "felt" less then I saw him, and indeed communicated this to me in the dream state, feeling he could have done more with his life then he did.

 

I believe now, this was how he indeed did pass over feeling....

But, I also believe wholeheartedly, that our work doesn't end here, and by his "helping me to help myself" at various times as he has, has helped him grow too.

 

I know I'll see Mr. Rosenberg again., a different form, but I'll recognize his love.

 

The next important (very important) contact that I recall vividly, are the ones from my mother.

 

Although I know I had others, again of Mr.Rosenberg over the years, when times were tough, supporting ones, I can't any longer recall them to post.

 

My mother was very very ill when we moved to Phoenix from Baltimore, back in 1996.  We didn't know just how ill she was, as she was "misdiagnosed" as diabetic, (she never was), and instead,we found out she had a rare form of lukemia (blood cancer)...after we moved here.

 

We put her up in her own condo, near our home, only 2 blocks away, and the 2 years before she died, I'd like to think were mainly good ones for her.  She traveled to the Grand Canyon, had a nice place to live, was a little lonely, but yet seemed to take things well.

 

Of course she was such a loud, ambitious, live for the day enthusiastic Sagittarian lady, (Dec. 14, 1922)....she preferred as she said, to live in my backyard in an RV, lol, but I nixed that idea.

 

Not that I didn't love my mother, we just mixed like "oil& water".  Actually her personality was more like my husband's their sense of humor (similar), they actually loved each other very much and had much fun together, both in Md. and in Arizona in the two years she lived.

 

They went to the races (horses), one time together, (it's a shame they didn't go more).,like to the dog races, she was a real race enthusiast (Sagittarian traits)

 

Anyway, when the end came, it came very fast.

 

We were so used to taking her in for complete blood transfusions so she might live longer, this was required from twice a week to 3 times a week, to every day or she couldn't live.

 

She knew her time was up.

 

Apparently she & Ralph (my husband) had made a secret pact between them, that he would tell her when it was time to go!

 

The "time" was ready.

 

We called the hospice and they sent a woman over who said she'd get my mother's medications straightened out by finding her a room in the nearby care center, (which she did that same week we called her).....so mom told her neighbor, "Rose, I won't be coming back"......"so I'm saying goodbye".

 

Rose cried, and we all were very sad.

 

No one knew she knew it would be that fast.

 

The night she went into the care center bed, we were driving from working that day, when Ralph said, "We'll go see your mother tonight"........I said, I dont' think so, because her granddaughters (my 2 daughters, Jen & Jess) would be there with her, and perhaps we should wait till tomorrow,  giving her company the next day.

 

Ralph, said, "No,- I think we need to go tonight".......and so we did.

 

It was a good thing.

 

She was lying there, and while we were there with the girls, she started seeing little animals (a common theme with my mom in her dream state)....then she saw a trio of beings, who she said, "they are sitting up straight, " and I want to be sitting up too....she so tried to get up and sit up on the bed.

 

I insisted she lay down, but I told her, as I held her hand and comforted her, that "when you see them come back, it's okay for you to go with them"........we'll be okay, don't worry, we will be together again.

 

We left as mom slipped into a light coma that night.

 

A few hours later, around 3 AM they called and said Mom was gone.

 

She was only there one night as I recall.

 

I  was beyond devastated.

 

I did well, very well actually, during the hospitalization, during the hospice visit by the nurse, but I suppose the swift and final departure was still stunning to me.

 

The dreams come next.

 

 

Dream of mom #1:

 

.............in November 7th, 1998, mom passed away in a coma, around 3 AM.

 

My middle daughter Jennifer had a dream that morning around that time and said the dream showed her looking at her "caller ID" which was very popular back then.,next to her bed.

When she did, she saw 3 phones numbers, so she clicked each message.

one popped up a message photo of her grandmother, and Jen "clicked it off"

one popped up a message photo of her grandfather (Ralphs' dad), and she "clicked it off" (he died 6 months later!)

the next message photo was her other grandmother (Ralph's mom) and that picture stayed.

 

She knew then, when we called, her grandmother had passed that morning.

 

 

Dream#2 of mother's passing:

November 7, 1998

 

 

...........I kept crying myself to sleep, but Ralph and I do keep seperate bedrooms now, and I didn't want to disturb him with my weeping.  All I could think was "Where was my mother?"

 

That's all I wanted to know.

 

Not theories, concepts or abstract thoughts, I wanted to know where she was? (spacially, just exactly WHERE?)

I was inconsolable.  We'd try to work or go to the store to buy materials, I'd hear a song, and need to leave, (it was her favorite song, as my mom always sang to us and herself).

 

Everynight, I'd cry and ask, when would I hear from her, and where was my mother?

 

Ralph had the first contact.

 

His dream:

 

...............he said he saw mom sitting at a kind of small cafe, outside, a "Bistro" at a bistro type of table, alone, just sitting there and smiling at him.  He walked up to her (knowing she was dead).....but he said she looked so good, so healthy, so nice, like from around the 1970s, probably around 50 something when we first married and how she looked t hen.

 

He was so happy to see her, but still couldn't "believe" it was her, so her felt her arm, and it was   warm to the touch.

He then turned  her arm over, to inspect it, (he has Scorpio rising, the eternal doubter)....

 

As he did he saw a "Tan line", (mom had an eternal tan as her dad was an American Indian)..

and He knew then, it was her.

 

.......................................................................................................

 

Dream #3 (contact) from mother after she passed on Nov.7 1998

 

My mother died in November on the 7th.  Meanwhile, she didn't get to see my first little granddaughter Lindsay's birth, as Lindsay was born in Georgia on September, the 17th,1998 two months earlier.

 

Becky (Lindsay's mom) and my oldest daughter, is an avid dreamer and always dreams of dead people.  She is very used to it, and has Pluto & the Moon in the 8th house (of death)along with Uranus. She also has Jupiter in the 12th house (rising) Her outer planets (are all trine & sextile to each other) excellant for such dreams.

 

She is also a Cancer Sun, (water)and although she too has personality problems, (don't we all??).....and isn't perfect, she is quite psychic as well.

She used to work (as all my daughters did) at a Retirement Home for the advanced Seniors, and Becky in particular, during High School, worked with the ones who were frail, sick and even dying.

The other girls worked in the Dining Room only.

 

Anyway, both Jen & Becky (the two older girls), always had the seniors they knew from  this job during their high school years, come to them both in their dream state often.

 

So Becky is a "natural conduit" it seems .

 

Anyway, my mom, came to Becky (after Ralph), to tell her, one message that she recalled.

 

 

This was Lindsay, and Becky knew now that her grandmother   knew of her.,and was conveying her congratulations on Lindsay's birth.

a month or two after my mom's death....

 

Still no dreams.

 

Becky had heard from  her, Jen (the Caller ID), and Ralph had I think two dreams.  I (her daughter) had no dream of my mother.

 

I was devastated still wanting to know Where was my mother?

 

Then one night while sound asleep I heard her voice.

 

It was so loud (just like in real life as I recall mom, who never spoke or laughed or did anything, but loud)

She yelled my name, (just as she normally would do when calling me)......she yelled " Deborah "

 

and it was so loud it reverberated throughout, like a kind of tunnel reverberation.

 

I was so happy, I knew it was the breakthrough I was waiting for.

 

The contact started.

 

The first contact, just the voice and my name.

 

The second dream:

 

...............Mom was bending over looking in the refrigerator, an old refrigerator and I couldn't see her face, only her back as she bent over in it looking.

 

All of a sudden the "shelves fell down"...and the food fell out.

I said to her ".What happened?.........and she said to me, "It wasn't my fault, there was no support",

so I looked and sure enough the support bars for the refrigerator were missing that needed to be there.

 

 

End of dream.

 

 

........................................................................................................

 

This dream was full of   symbols and puns.

 

The "Refrigerator" is what we use for food. Food is both emotional (symbolically) as well as physical.

 

Mom was telling me, via her own self-analysis probably in the (review of the life just lived), that    she really wasn't "equipped" as the refrigerator    showed via the lack of supports....

She wasn't equipped to be a mom perhaps that protected her daughters, but she really didn't need to explain that to me, as I never held that against her and always already realized, we are all different, and it was simply a surface personality defect, not from the inner self or heart defect.

 

There is a huge difference.

 

My mom wasn't "equipped" as she saw it, by virtue of being a rather naive person, who saw only good in people including her own husband who actually was not a nice person (behind her back).....and she never saw it.

Because of this (naivite), her children were hurt by him. (Child sexual abuse)......but I never blamed my mom, ever.

My sister did, but I never did.

 

 

I was very happy to  hear from her at last.

 

But the dreams didn't stop yet.

3rd dream of mom (after her Nov. 1998 death)

 

as I recall now, mom & I were walking together over a bridge.

It was a land bridge, which   she often walked over when younger, to walk to work for the Telephone Company, a lifelong job.

 

In the dream she & I walked happily together over that bridge.

 

............................................................................................

 

Interp:

 

I "knew" mom would be there to meet & greet me, when I pass over.

 

 

Mother continued to come to me , Ralph & Becky, (not sure about Jen or Jess) but probably Jen remembers some of these dreams of hers.

 

during that first year of her death.,1999.

 

with Ralph, one of his next dreams was mom playing with little animals all surrounding her, as she laughed and watched Ralph.,trying to avoid stepping on what looked like a chipmunk.

 

(In real life, she loved all animals including animal movies too, like Jungle films)

 

again, we are talking Sagittarius here!

 

 

Mom & me in the 80s

nope, error,that photo was in the late 90s......my where does the time fly?.....Mother had no gray hair in the 70s .

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Meanwhile, Ralphs dad died.

 

Becky was very very close to him, closer to those grandparents, (Ralph's parents) then to even my mother.,although I was not close to my in-laws at all, seldom getting along with them.

 

Ralph's father "haunted" many of Becky's dreams, coming often, seeing him in the old apartment house where they use to live (he & his wife who is still alive now at 91)

 

he came so often, in all his grandchildren's dreams, and even to Ralph, that it was obvious, his soul was very restless, as in the dreams he never seemed at ease, only upset.

 

Actually, he crossed over in a strange way perhaps

 

It was a very easy death, sitting in his easy LazyBoy Chair, recliner.

He had just come back from the WW2 Veterans Club where he went to have a few beers, as was his custom, and said he had a headache to his wife who sat on the couch.

 

So, he sat in his chair, leaved back, (reclined), and the next thing she knew, an hour later when she looked over, she realized he was gone.

 

.................Gone, (but not really)....in the Astral Realm he remains, even till today.

 

He has come to all his grandchildren, as I said, and to Ralph often.

With Ralph, it's usually upset over his wife's condition, (being very old now, and living with her only daughter).

She takes a lot of medications, (pain pills, nerve pills, etc), though not an alcoholic, she was always on pain medication and also abuses it, living in a kind of daze usually.

 

So it's normal I suppose for this concern.

 

Last year (because of one of these dreams) we actually flew over to Maryland last June, to check on her and her living conditions etc. because "Pop", asked Ralph to.

 

She seems okay to us.  Just old.

 

 

The only dream I recall (myself) about him, was when he died.

Like I said, I didn't get along with my father in law.,a real Scorpio, with Aries Moon if there ever was one, (LOL)

and Capricorn Rising.

 

Talk about INTENSE!,.............

 

In one dream not too long after he died, Ralph told him, "You know you were wrong".........

he sheepishly, nodded.

 

He (Ralph) was referring to how he treated me, rather nastily.

 

I suppose he is sorry now. Rather late, but maybe better late then never, to acknowledge this.

 

For myself, the only dream I had was after he died, and I told Ralph, I saw his dad, and  "they" showed me a baby bottle.

 

INTERPRETATION:

 

............I don't know who "they" are, but the Baby Bottle was a symbol to me that he was "being nourished".......on the other side.

 

Becky has told her grandfather (after I talked to her about grandmom ) to "Move on Grandpa, stop visiting me now".

 

I know she loves him dearly and his memory will always be very special to her, but I suppose the dream visits were just too many for her and upset her too much, that he was so "unsettled".

His nocturnal visits ceased for awhile

 

I'm not sure if he still visits her, but occassionally still visits Ralph.

 

 

Another person I was never close to was my own father.

 

When my father died in 1995, there were no huge amount of tears I shed.  He was not nice to his two daughters, so the closeness was not there, but yet I wanted to forgive him, and understand his actions, so I did my duty while he was alive, helped my mother to care for his needs, but yet didn't feel any connection.

 

When he died I had this dream:

 

 

..........I was in my grandmother's kitchen (mom's mother's house).....who I was close to.

 

My father was in the Living room, and I said to my mother, "You better go in there and ask him, how much he made, better there will be a tax to pay on any profit he made"..

 

Apparently I knew he had "sold a house"......

 

Mom went in the Living Room, and asked him.

 

She came back to tell me, "He said, it was a wash",  meaning no gain but no real loss either. just a wash.

 

................................................................................................

 

 

INTERPRETATION:

 

Again, just like my Mr.Rosenberg's message to me dream in the supermarket POST # 7 it was a kind of message I'd not create, as I thought (rationally or reasonably) that my father's life, if I had to guess, would be judged to be a "loss" and certainly not a gain, as he was a very selfish individual .

 

But this wasn't the message.

 

The Message said, it was a "Wash", meaning no gain, but not a bad loss  either.

 

I remember before he died, he told me one night in the hospital, he dreamed of his dead brother Louis who he saw in the dream standing near a gate and opening the gate for him.

 

On the gate were "oranges and lemons", and I said to him, they symbolized, both sweet & sour.

 

Perhaps, this was how his own soul judged his life he just left. Both sweet (at times) and sour?