331BC - Alexander the Great of Macedon defeats Persian army at Gaugamela

1800 - Spain cedes Louisiana to France in a secret treaty

1853 - George Brown first issues his 'Globe' newspaper as a daily in Toronto

1869 - The first postcards are issued in Vienna

1876 �?The first western Canadian wheat is shipped to Ontario

1884 - The first women were admitted to University College, University of Toronto

1890 - Yosemite National Park is established in the USA

1903 - The first baseball World Series, Pittsburgh Pirates vs Boston Pilgrims

1908 - Henry Ford introduces the Model T car at a cost of $825

1918 - T.E. Lawrence, a legendary British soldier known as Lawrence of Arabia was part of an Arab and British force that captured Damascus from the Turks during World War I, completing the liberation of Arabia

1922 - The former Chicago Staleys play their first NFL game as the Chicago Bears, winning 6-0

1936 - General Francisco Franco establishes the state of Spain

1938 - Germany annexes Sudetenland

1946 - 12 high-ranking Nazis are sentenced to death by the International War Crimes Tribunal in Nuremberg

1947 - NHL Pension Society founded

1949 - The People's Republic of China is proclaimed by Mao Tse-tung and the Republic of China (Taiwan) forms on the island of Formosa

1951 - Charlotte Whitton becomes Canada's first woman mayor in Ottawa

1955 - The "Honeymooners" premieres on TV

1960 - Nigeria gains independence from Britain

1960 - Opening of the O'Keefe Centre (later the Hummingbird Centre) for the Performing Arts with the worldwide premiere of "Camelot"

1961 - Roger Maris breaks the record for the most home runs in one season

1961 - The Canadian Television Network (CTV) began with stations in Vancouver, Edmonton, Calgary, Winnipeg, Toronto, Ottawa, Montreal and Halifax

1962 - Barbra Streisand signs her first recording contract with Columbia

1962 - Brian Epstein signs a contract to manage the Beatles through 1977

1966 - The CBC starts first colour television broadcasting

1971 - Walt Disney World in Orlando, Florida opens

1972 - First games of the World Hockey Association

1977 - Brazilian soccer great Pele retires with 1,281 goals in 1,363 games

1982 - EPCOT Center opens in Orlando Florida

Birthdays

1207 - Henry III - King of England from 1216-1272; ascended the throne at the age of nine, on the death of his father
1881 - William Edward Boeing, Detroit - founded Boeing Aircraft Co
1890 - Stanley Holloway, London England �?actor: Our Man Higgins
1903 �?Vladimir Horowitz, Kyiv, Ukraine �?concert pianist
1911 �?Bonnie Parker, Rowena, Texas �?outlaw “Bonnie & Clyde�?BR>1920 - Walter Matthau, NY City �?actor: Odd Couple, Bad News Bears
1921 - James Whitmore, White Plains NY �?actor: Give 'em Hell Harry
1924 - Jimmy Earl Carter, Plains, GA - 39th US President (1977-1981)
1926 - Ben Wickes, London, England - cartoonist
1927 - Tom Bosley, Chicago �?actor: Happy Days, Murder She Wrote
1928 - George Peppard, Detroit �?actor: Banacek, A-Team, Blue Max
1928 - Laurence Harvey �?actor: Alamo, Romeo & Juliet
1930 - Richard Harris �?actor: A Man Called Horse; singer: MacArthur Park
1935 - Julie Andrews, England - actress/singer: Sound of Music, Mary Poppins
1945 - Donny Hathaway, Chicago - singer: Where is the Love
1945 - Rod Carew, baseball player (AL Rookie of the Year 1967)
1950 - Randy Quaid, Houston - actor: Midnight Express
1963 - Mark McGwire, baseball player: Oakland A's (AL rookie of year 1988)

 

 

What You Give A Woman

 

Whatever you give a woman, she's going to multiply. If you give her sperm, she'll give you a baby.

If you give her a house, she'll give you a home.

 

If you give her groceries, she'll give you a meal.

If you give her a smile, she'll give you her heart.

 

She multiplies and enlarges what is given to her.

So - if you give her any crap, you will receive a ton of shit.