And memory kept pace with time,
flooding the mind anew.
I tried to block it out to keep
the bitterness from tainting you.
All the time blind by looking back,
not seeing the danger in my path.
Stumbling, tumbling, being used
and fighting the hurt, my wrath.
To use this anger as a tool
seems wrong, to me, somehow.
And yet, to be the jaded fool
means accepting the bitter truth, now.
Despite the honey of your words,
you use us all the same.
You take what you want, then discard us,
in some twisted, immature game.
You love us until we bore you,
then you find someone new to play.
No wonder you wear out your welcomes,
when those who defend you become your prey.
It sickens me to think I was so dumb;
I cared so very much for a ghost.
Who only used me for what he could get,
the same way he does to most.
You tell us all we're "special",
and we swallow the poison lies
until we realize there are so many others,
and the betrayal opens our eyes.
You, who speak so much of honesty,
whose forked tongue knows no rest.
I'd like to say I can hate you now,
or that your name I could truly detest.
But then, I'd be as bad as you,
lying to myself once more.
I do wish I had never met you, though,
that I could go back to the innocence before...
Is love ever worth so much hurt and pain?
It shouldn't have to be so damned hard.
Well, I was the only fool who fell,
and I learned, though it left me scarred.
Does my venom show in my words to you?
Do you even care? I'll ask.
I can guess that the answer is probably "No",
because you hide behind a mask.
You mock the truth with nothing but lies,
it's so easy for you to do.
And what goes around, comes around again,
so, someday, it will happen to you.
When you finally wake up and realize,
the reason you'll always be so alone.
I doubt you'll ever get that wise,
because mistrust is all you've shown.
Despite the way you mistreat women,
you have my pity and sympathy.
I hope with all my heart that you'll finally grow up,
and become the man that I know you could be.
~ C.L.R. ~
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