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| | From:  MorgannLeFey (Original Message) | Sent: 5/13/2005 5:21 PM |
I'm sorry that it has taken me so long to finally post something, but there are never enough hours in the day. I'm new to the endo chat as I'm sure you know and I'm happy that you have invited me to be a part of your group. I came here because a very good friend of mine, Kelli, has been diagnosed with endometriosis. She had severe pain for a long time and because she was dealing with work related back pain and neck pain, I think it went untreated for a while. When they finally decided she did indeed have endometriosis, the treatments were, to me, more severe than what I would have imagined them to be. Kelli is 28. The doctors have started her on a round of thereapy that puts you into early menopause. As I'm sure most of you know what this is called, will you forgive me if I can't remember? She will end this treatment in about a month, at which time they have told her that she needs to either have a baby or a hysterectomy. Kelli is not married or dating anyone that she would like to have a child with and it's been very hard for her to try and come to a decision about this. She isn't at a point in her life where she is seriously thinking about children. She lives with her best friend Mindy, her husband Dave, and their two children. Dave and Mindy have discussed this at length and have decided that they would like to be the donors for Kelli. Obviously this is a wonderful gift, but also presents many more problems as well. It is a big decision to make and a very difficult one. I am hoping to get Kelli into this chat so that she can speak to all of you herself. I can not tell you what she would say if she were here and I don't know how much she suffers every day. I can only tell you that she is constantly "in Pain". How do you help someone with this, what can you say to ease their mind? I know what you are going through? I don't, I have no idea how this must be for her, and for all of you. My mother found out this week that she will also need to have a hysterectomy because of a precancer condition. I can see how hard it is for her but she comes from a completely different place, she's already had three children who are all grown up and she doesn't plan to have more. Puts you in the frame of mind to feel a little better about it. But it also makes me think even more about how this could just as easily be me. And so I come here looking for advice and help and hope. Thank you all for listening and I look forward to being here, for her, in any way I can. |
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This is very sweet and you are a wonderful friend. You are obviouly very supportive of her and you must listen to her and I do think that she is very grateful. I too live in pain but unfortunately people, friends, family have yet to understand and tell me to get over it. That its nothing just a little menstrual pains. So, you are giving her the greatest gift by just being there for her. I do understand where she is at and we do hope to meet her. i think here she find some answers to questions, friends and support. I too have had the hormone injections, surgery and was told to have children now or never. Now Iam married but still very much do feel rushed and at times I feel its not fair. But, if God will bless me I will take it although i know it will be a struggle since I already have a 1 year old. I fear how it will be and fighting the endo at the same time of caring again for a new born, a small child, husband and home. It has been wonderful to meet you and Iam sure you have touched all of us by showing your care and concern for your friend. We look forward to hearing from you again. Sorry for the delay in this post. hugs, Lisa |
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<HTML> Thank you for writing to me. I have been made to feel so welcome with all of the updates I receive! I've had to become a very good listener lately and it has been a blessing to be able to come to this website and read all of the postings by people that are in the same situation as my friend. It's terribly sad that so many people do not seem to get the love and support that they need from the very people in their that should be offering their ears first.
Thank you all so much for your help and your prayers.
~Melanie |
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Hi Morgan,
For starters, your friend is EXTREMELY lucky to have you! You are an absolutely wonderful friend to write in for her. I am also pretty sure that it must be hard on you as well as you most likely are the person who sees what she feels and who has to listen to her. She was on Lupron, - I was too when I was just a little younger than her, - I just turned 32 and STILL feel the side effects. I hope that they put her on calcium, i think they call it kick back? or feed back? they did not do that for me, they swore there were no side effects and that they were all in my head. Needless to say this year I shrunk 3+", broke some teeth and a 2x now my toes and foot. I was told the same type of advice as her. I agree with your friend that having a child was not, still is not, a logical solution for me as its not for her. It's not 100% guaranteed and if it doesnt work then how is that child going to be cared for properly with a mother in that condition? Also, for me, I would want to raise my own child, and being single and having to work and not getting my ducks in order yet does not provide for a good foundation for a child. As for a hysterectomy, please inform her that this is not a cure. There is a little loop to that, - it the endo has traveled outside of that area already, then the hysterectomy will not do a damn thing since the areas that have spread already think they are part of the uterus as they are endometrium tissue (the outer lining of the utersus) and will always go thru the monthly routine. I think that the people she lives with and she have a beautiful relationship. I had a "best friend"since childhood. She got married and naturally i was the maid of honor, etc. etc. Anyway, she wanted a baby more than anything. All of her circle were getting pregnant, but her. You name the fertility option, she tried it and finally became severely depressed. I thought about it long and hard, especially because i am single, feel like crap, your body never looks the same, life style change, etc. etc. Finally, I offered them that I would carry there child - using HER egg, so its there child. I was able to carry then (dont know now) it would help me, and i could give them this gift. i explained that i loved her so much, i could see no other way. Well, guess what? She was so discusted with me that she's never spoken with me! She thought it was discusting to give up your child, to which I explained its hers, her egg. Either way, there was no thank you to say the least. She did finally conceive two twins, to save a long story unless you want to hear, was the one beside her, etc. etc. and she winded up in icu and they didnt give her much time. well, again, the nerve of me to be nervous, without telling me gave the godmother job to somebody else, and then stopped speaking with me pretty much. I am happy for all of you because you are very fortunate. You asked what you can do for your friend, I would say being there for her. Don't be by her side and then make her feel bad for it, or make her feel like she wont be able to do something socially, you know what I mean? Whether or not it is expressed to you, I am sure she is grateful. Most important, LOOSE THE DOC - he/she sounds like an unimformed quack! -----Original Message----- From: MorgannLeFey < [email protected]> To: Endo chat line < [email protected]> Sent: Fri, 13 May 2005 09:21:41 -0700 Subject: My friend Kelli
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New Message on Endo chat line
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From: MorgannLeFey
Message 1 in Discussion
I'm sorry that it has taken me so long to finally post something, but there are
never enough hours in the day. I'm new to the endo chat as I'm sure you know and
I'm happy that you have invited me to be a part of your group. I came here
because a very good friend of mine, Kelli, has been diagnosed with
endometriosis. She had severe pain for a long time and because she was dealing
with work related back pain and neck pain, I think it went untreated for a
while. When they finally decided she did indeed have endometriosis, the
treatments were, to me, more severe than what I would have imagined them to be.
Kelli is 28. The doctors have started her on a round of thereapy that puts you
into early menopause. As I'm sure most of you know what this is called, will you
forgive me if I can't remember? She will end this treatment in about a month, at
which time they have told her that she needs to either have a baby or a
hysterectomy. Kelli is not married or dating anyone that she would like to have
a child with and it's been very hard for her to try and come to a decision about
this. She isn't at a point in her life where she is seriously thinking about
children. She lives with her best friend Mindy, her husband Dave, and their two
children. Dave and Mindy have discussed this at length and have decided that
they would like to be the donors for Kelli. Obviously this is a wonderful gift,
but also presents many more problems as well. It is a big decision to make and a
very difficult one. I am hoping to get Kelli into this chat so that she can
speak to all of you herself. I can not tell you what she would say if she
were here and I don't know how much she suffers every day. I can only tell you
that she is constantly "in Pain". How do you help someone with this, what can
you say to ease their mind? I know what you are going through? I don't, I have
no idea how this must be for her, and for all of you. My mother found out this
week that she will also need to have a hysterectomy because of a precancer
condition. I can see how hard it is for her but she comes from a completely
different place, she's already had three children who are all grown up and she
doesn't plan to have more. Puts you in the frame of mind to feel a little better
about it. But it also makes me think even more about how this could just as
easily be me. And so I come here looking for advice and help and hope. Thank you
all for listening and I look forward to being here, for her, in any way I can.
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