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| | | From: Mette (Original Message) | Sent: 11/11/2008 3:12 PM |
I don't remember - Any of you guys who have adopted? We're thinking of starting the process in the new year. On one hand exciting - on the other really scary... |
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Hi Mette We haven't adopted, but sure has crossed our mind many times. We find it a hard decision to make as we are young and the possibility of having children of our own is of course always there (even though we seem to lose hope so often). I would love to adopt if we knew for sure that we could never have our own. Its not that Iwould intentionally treat an adopted child less than my own, if that would happen, but i am afraid of that happening. We have put a lot of research into it, and it seems like a very long, intensive process. If I was in your situation, I would probably consider it more seriously. And yes, it is a bit scary. There are so many different options with adoption too...Out here you can basically choose the child you want...e.g. gender, age, looks, etc. Sorry this isn't really advice, but just a few thoghts that crossed my mind when I read the word adoption! Take care, Clara |
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| | | From: Mette | Sent: 11/11/2008 7:57 PM |
Hi Thanks, nice to know we're not the only ones who find it scary. The adoptionlaws are a bit different here so we can't choose gender and the aproval goes from 0-36 months, 36-48 months and so on, and depends on the parents age when they aply for adoption. The looks depend on which country we choose to adopt from so that's generally the only thing we can choose - and ofcourse the age by aplying early. But still - there's so much to consider - do we want siblings, twins or just 1 at a time, China, Vietnam, Africa, south america or eastern europe, and so on. I must admit however I'm a bit reliefed that I don't have to go through ivf and so on since the doc's told me I would prob need surgery after each try because some of the hormones provoce the endo. I found a danish site and there's plenty of people with experience but figured I'd ask here also. Mette |
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I wish you all the luck in the world with this Mette. Sending you lotsa love and hugs Lulu |
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Hi Mette...I don't think there is anyone here that have adopted..we use to have a few and one of them I know got pregnant after they got their baby...I know a few people that have adopted ..one friend has adopted 6 kids..some of them siblings..and she is so happy that she did...I think it's a personal choice you have to make and I think the biggest thing to think about is that it could take awhile..and I know the girl that adopted on this site had many calls saying they had a child for her and then it didn't pan out ..which was very difficult for her...Also the friend that has adopted 6 has a few of her children with difficulties as the mom had been on drugs etc...so I guess you'll have to look at the whole picture and realize you may get a child that has problems etc... I don't want to be a downer about it..I'm excited for you and it would be hard to decide where to go...there are many adoption sites with many many children on it that tell their stories etc..it's so sad..I want to bring them all home and hug them...so very sad...please keep us posted ..sending you huge huggz..Angel |
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| | | From: Mette | Sent: 11/13/2008 6:44 PM |
Wow - 6 kids - that's a lot!! I'm thinking 2. It's expensive here to adopt. About 20,000 usd pr child. I know a few here who have adopted and none of them are having more "trouble" than biological parents so that's nice to watch them. I think it's this whole deal of both Benny and my grandmother passing away within 3 weeks of eachother that has made me think more about it again. I'll keep ya posted on what we decide - or maybe I should say - WHEN we start, since this obviously is the only way we can have kids. But still not regretting the hyster - pain is SO much better than I ever dared hoping. Mette |
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I'm glad that you don't regret having the hyster..and I'm so excited for you and Benny...and yes two kids is awesome :).....looking forward to hearing all about your plans...huggz..Angel |
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| | From:  Quelara | Sent: 11/18/2008 7:07 AM |
I don't know the laws where you are but a friend of our family has adopted, well rather more than one but anyway... One young couple we are friends with adopted a beautiful little girl. They found a pregnant young woman who already ahd one child and was not going to be able to keep another. Her husband was being deported for illegal activy and being in the country illegally. Anyway the mother called teh "parent's for when the baby was due and they got to be there when she was born. She is so sweet. Anotehr couple we know adopted from Asia and when they adopted the one child found out later she had two sisters. The family ended up adopting all three. I know it is scary but it can work out fine. On a negaive note my dad and his new wife have been trying to adopt for 10 years now, although he is in his 50's now. They went through a Christian adoption agency through South America and spent tens of thousands of dollars. All they were eveer considered for were special needs children because his wife is a nurse. |
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