21 Jan 1996             dedicated to SC
I told you I would not be
torn down again.
I told you I would not
feel small or insignificant
or nothing.
I told you that the wall you saw
was not there to protect me,
it IS me.
You agreed
but you brought
your wrecking ball
and your battering ram
and started the job anyway.
I told you there were places
in my soul
you could not go,
dark places with locked doors
that no one would ever pass through
again.
You showed up with your map
and your flashlight
and crashed right in.
I promised that if I loved again,
I would not deny it
to you
and I would not apologize for it
to anyone.
You said you understood
but you never let me say
the words.
I told you I would not
change my life for you...
I lied.
You made a liar out of me
and it didn't even matter...
In the end,
I loved everything about you
except me.