Living in a Material World
Why it will never satisfy the longings of the soul
R. Ruth Barton

 
 When my husband and I were first married and lived in a small apartment, I thought if we could just buy a house I'd be satisfied.

Several years later, we did get our house. Even though it was a modest, three-bedroom ranch in need of decorating and repair, it felt so good to have space! And to walk out our front door into a grassy yard rather than a dank hallway seemed like heaven on earth. For the privilege of owning a home I could certainly live with peeling paint, yellow and green wallpaper, and an outdated kitchen.

Or could I?

It didn't take long for me to realize I'm not that easily satisfied. Oh, I was fine as long as the first flush of purchasing excitement lasted. But pretty soon, desire began to overtake me again. If we could just replace the shag carpeting, if we could just get rid of the avocado appliances, if we could just remodel the kitchen �?then I'd be satisfied.

Well, here it is ten years later. We've done all those things (and more!) and I've made a startling realization: It doesn't matter how much we buy, there is always plenty more that I want. I'm very much a part of the never-enough world. Chances are, so are you.

Exposing the Myths

In the never-enough world, the myth of materialism is preached as though it were the gospel truth. Nearly every time we open a magazine, turn on the television, or talk to a neighbor, we're bombarded with the message that material things provide the answers to life's basic questions. What am I worth? The most expensive hair color. What is success? Having an American Express card. How do I find peace of mind? Buy more insurance. How do I show someone how much I love them? Send a Hallmark card. And what do I do when the going gets tough? Go shopping, of course.

Materialism promises that if we can just achieve a higher income level, get our dream house, wear the right clothes, and enjoy the right kinds of leisure activities, we will be satisfied. But in reality, it often produces families that are unable to get off the treadmill because they are deeply in debt. Materialism produces parents who have no time for each other or their children. It gives us nicer things than our parents had when they were our age but little time to enjoy them, and men and women who know how to dress for success but who are full of doubts and questions on the inside.

Great Expectations

To make matters worse, those of us who are baby boomers have a propensity toward materialism just because of the time in which we were born. As journalist Landon Jones described it: "For most of human history, people had thought life was hard, brutal, and tragic. But the baby boom's early affluence developed into �?'the psychology of entitlement.' What other generations have thought privileges, the baby boomers thought were rights."
I don't know about you, but I see myself in that description. I've grown to expect that the "starter home" in which we live now is just that—a stepping stone along the way to something bigger. But recently I've had to ask myself, Who says? There are people all over the world and right here in our own inner cities who live with their extended families in small apartments. They never "expect" to even own a home let alone the custom-built, designer model on which I and so many fellow baby boomers have our hearts set. Today in my suburb, homes like that cost between $200,000 and $500,000! Who says life owes me that?

I'm not saying we'll never buy a larger home; it's the attitude of expecting it that I need to confront and question.

The Source of Our Discontent

As much as I'm influenced by cultural expectations, I'm learning that the source of my discontent goes far deeper than that. I'm most vulnerable when I drift from the relationships for which I was created, and the undercurrent of my own emptiness threatens to pull me into a sea of unbridled materialism.

We're relational beings created first to be in relationship with God. When sin, rebellion, or lack of attention causes a rift in this most important relationship, the resulting emptiness of soul can be very painful.

Although we may try to fill our emptiness by acquiring more things, make no mistake about it: There'll never be enough material things to satisfy the longings of the human soul. That's why the Book of Hebrews in the Bible draws such a strong connection between freedom from materialism and our relationship with God: "Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have, because God has said, 'Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you'" (13:5). The questions that the myth of materialism claim to answer can only be satisfied in a personal relationship with the Lord. The more consistent we are in pursuing that relationship, the less obsessed we'll be with money and things.

Keeping Things in Perspective

I'd be unrealistic if I didn't admit how much I enjoy the things money buys. Our home with its grassy lawn and good neighbors has been a wonderful place to raise our family and host our friends. My newly remodeled kitchen is saving me untold time and frustration so I'm free to devote more time to people and activities that really interest me. And life would certainly be more difficult without adequate, regular income. I enjoy these gifts without guilt because God "richly provides us with everything for our enjoyment" (1 Tim. 6:17).

But a balanced perspective reminds me that money does have its limitations. It can buy clothes but not true beauty. An exotic vacation but not the ability to relax and sleep. A big house but not a happy family. Sports fees and equipment but not a dad. Expensive gifts but not love. A Better Homes and Gardens lifestyle, but not a mom who has time and energy left to play games or read stories.

A balanced perspective also keeps me from being consumed by my desires and warns me about sacrificing what really matters in life for things that never quite satisfy. Contrary to the myth of materialism, it isn't the ones who die with the most toys who win. It's those who've loved their families well and know the joy of having that love returned. It's those who've known what it is to spend their lives for a purpose greater than themselves. It's those who've known their God and look forward to eternity with him.

Asking the Right Questions

Oftentimes, asking the right questions is just as important as finding the correct answers. In fact, I've found that the process of asking questions is the answer to my struggle with cultural influences, great expectations, and emptiness of soul: What do I expect out of life and where do those expectations come from? What is success and do I tend to measure it by outward trappings? How much of myself am I giving to my loved ones and how much am I relying on expensive gifts (for birthdays or Christmas, for example) to communicate love? What is the real source of the emptiness or drivenness I feel?

In the noisiness of daily life, it's hard to quiet ourselves and wait for the answers to questions that are as important as these. Answers that fit into simple categories of right and wrong or quick-fix solutions are not the ones we're looking for. Real answers offer us insights about ourselves, the material world, and the spiritual world, and free us to choose a lifestyle consistent with our core values rather than cultural expectations. Real answers help us keep our perspective in a world where desire is out of control. Real answers take us deeper into the relationships for which we were created. And it's only then that we'll be satisfied.

R. Ruth Barton is a speaker and author of such books as Becoming a Woman of Strength (Harold Shaw). Adapted from Pursuit magazine (November/December 1993).

Copyright © 1997 by Christianity Today International/Today's Christian Woman Magazine.