Sick With Baby

An article from TodaysParent.com
   
    
  Holly Bennett

  
 
We were trading “trial by illness�?stories at my mothers�?group. My own worst time was the day I woke up with mastitis. I stood holding my baby at the top of the stairs, swayed and realized with panic that I was so sick I might actually fall down and drop him.

Gerry, a mother of three and the pro of our group, had a story to beat that. “We all had the stomach flu,�?she said. “I had to run to the toilet in the middle of nursing the baby. I was sitting there, still nursing, wondering what on earth I would do if I had to throw up.�?

Ugh. Before motherhood, you would have crawled into bed, pulled up the covers and stayed there. But your baby isn’t going to look after herself, no matter how sick you feel �?she’s not even old enough to watch a video while you grab a nap. What’s a parent to do?

There are no magic solutions to this �?not unless you have a partner or mother who can take over for a couple of days. But Cheryl Boldt, a public health nurse with Saskatoon Health Region, says that for some moms the biggest hurdle is giving themselves permission to take it easy, even when they are sick. “I think it comes back to the idea that we can’t take care of our children if we haven’t taken care of ourselves. If mothers can tell themselves, ‘It’s really in my child’s best interest for me to get better,�?then that helps them. If you have a cold or something, we know that if you get extra rest you recover more quickly.�?/P>

So how do you squeeze in that extra rest?

Seize the Moment
When the chance for some true downtime comes your way, nab it. “Maybe you have to endure the day alone,�?says Boldt. “But if you have a partner who comes home in the evening, then don’t put on a brave front �?go crawl into your bed and close the door.�?/P>

When Belinda Wright was sick with a cold and her husband was away on military duty, she made no pretense of keeping adult hours. “As soon as Aaron went to bed I went too. I’m sure this helped me get better faster.�?/P>

Bed Central
If you’re breastfeeding, do it in bed. “Cuddle up in bed with your baby and just allow him to nurse as much as he likes,�?suggests MacKenzie. “That way you can keep your baby happy and meet your need for rest.�?Collect everything you need first �?drinks and tissues for you, change pad, diapers, clothes and toys for baby �?and you might be able to get a whole morning or afternoon lying down this way.

Worried about passing on germs? Family members do that anyway. But if you keep nursing, your baby will benefit from the antibodies in your breastmilk, which are all set to fight whatever is making you ill. It’s not unusual, says MacKenzie, for a cold or flu to go through an entire family, while the breastfed baby either stays healthy or gets a much milder case.

Once babies get mobile, it’s harder to keep them in one place. “If you can have one room in your house that’s really carefully childproofed so the baby can have some freedom to roam, you could bring in a bunch of toys, and then just rest there while she cruises around,�?Boldt suggests. “You might need to let your baby get into more than you normally would �?as long as it’s safe. You might let her take all the plasticware out of the cupboards and spread it all over the house. Whatever keeps her occupied.�?

Ask For Help
Even when we really want or need help, it can be hard to ask. Yet, says Boldt, “so often with illnesses, other people honestly don’t know how bad you feel. So the reality is we have to ask for help when we need it.�?It’s one thing to ask a partner or close relative to step in and help, but what if you’re on your own? “My mother gave me this wise advice,�?says Boldt. “She said, how would you feel if a friend or neighbour phoned you for some help? Wouldn’t you gladly give it? And I said of course I would, and I think we sometimes forget that most other people will feel the same.�?Other parents who have been there and understand are usually happy, if they can, to lend a hand.

“Most of my friends had children before I did, and the first time I was really sick my girlfriend came over and took my children out of the house. I could have kissed her,�?Boldt recalls. “I actually cried. And I said to her afterwards, ‘Why didn’t you tell me? I would have been there for you.’�?/P>

Of course you don’t want to expose other children to a nasty bug, so if your illness is making the rounds of your family, think of less contagious ways a neighbour could help: picking up groceries or pharmacy supplies, washing a load of dishes or walking the dog.

Rest is Best
The most common way that parents get sick is from their own children. Lots of handwashing when caring for a sick child is important, but Boldt thinks that sleep deprivation also lowers our resistance to germs. Sick children are usually up a lot at night, and most parents of babies are already operating on short sleep rations. So Boldt suggests, “When your child is ill and you’re up at night, try to make an effort to get extra rest the next day.�?

This is one of the really tough parenting rites of passage. But as Boldt says, “We get through it. Somehow.�?/P>