The Positive Effects of Giving Casual Dating Up to God

Everyone dates. Or at least everyone is supposed to date. If they don’t date, then something is wrong with them, right?"In our society," writes author Douglas Wilson, "recreational dating is taken to be a positive good, like food, air and sunshine, a necessary, inescapable activity. It is considered to be a normal and natural part of growing up." Many people do, indeed, date casually, going from one person to the next; although, there are others who have chosen to do otherwise. They have chosen to give the world of dating up to God, because they know that when they focus on Jesus and put this matter in His hands they will be blessed beyond imagination. The effects of giving "casual" dating up to God are, indeed, amazingly positive!

It is easy to see that dating can become a chronic "disease", consuming our every thought and minute. Many men and woman that spend hundreds of hours with each other, just to end with a breakup. Precious time has been wasted, gone for good. When a person gives dating up, he or she will then be able to focus on things of more importance. Focusing on one’s relationship with God, meditating on His powerful Word, and praying continuously, are only a few things of more importance! We do not find out who our spouses are by dating one here, another one there, trying this one, and trying that one. We find out who our spouses are by getting so close to Jesus that we learn to hear His voice accurately. As a person decides to put casual dating in God’s hands, it is highly likely for them to see the positive effects right off the bat. That person will notice the joy and contentment growing inside their hearts. The fear of never finding their mate will diminish. As we place our worries or fears in the Father’s hands, we are showing Him that we trust and acknowledge that He knows best. We are showing God that we know that He comes first and that we long to draw nearer to Him. This greatly pleases Him and He will shower us with abundant blessings. I came across an inspiring story about a woman named Ellen Duncan. Through her story we are able to see a clear example of a person devoting the dating world to God. Ellen put her trust in the Lord and focused on her relationship with Him. Through this quote one is able to see Ellen’s devotion to God, "Finally, after much prayer, I made a covenant with the Lord, wrote it on paper, signed it, and prayed over it with my pastor’s wife. In this covenant I told the Lord that I would trust Him with my future mate, and that whatever time I would be spending with a boyfriend, I’d spend with God in prayer and in the Word instead. It would not have been enough for me to just give up dating, but it was imperative to replace that void with the Lord. I also told Him that if it was not His will that I’d ever marry, that I’d be willing to serve Him in whatever way He wanted, even if He wanted to send me as a single missionary to a hut in the middle of Africa, to be killed in a Muslim country, or to just be a janitor in my local church. The only thing I asked of Him was that if it was His will that I ever married, He would let me know when my husband came."

Think about the word ‘dating�? What other words or thoughts do we associate with ‘dating�? Of course we think of ‘love�? ‘butterflies in the stomach�?and ‘weakness in the knees�? but in reality things like, ‘breaking up�? ‘pain�? ‘broken hearts�? and even ‘cheating�?can occur. When a person puts casual dating on the shelf he or she will not have to deal with all of the stresses and pains of dating somebody whom they are not even planning on spending forever within the first place! There will be no breakups, no falling in and out of love, and by the way if a person can easily fall ‘in and out of love�?then true love never existed in the first place, and more than likely, it was lust. A person will not have to worry about being pressured into premarital sex, and remember too that in God’s eyes ‘sex�?occurs way before intercourse and any act of impurity a person commits, sexually, whether it is physically or mentally; He looks at as adultery. The Father knows what is best for His children and He knows that instead of hurting and stressing, or going through the temptations often faced with dating, one should be focusing on their intimacy with Christ. God knows our hearts and He knows that we have a tendency to become distracted with the ways of this world, and those ways are not God’s ways. He also wants to save His children from hurting. God is a compassionate God, and He only wants what is best for His children. As Ellen Duncan says, "It is so important for young people to completely consecrate themselves to the Lord while they are single. If they sow into the Spirit, one day they will be able to give their spouses a godly mate to share their lives with. A mate who will know how to get a hold of God in the time of need, one, who has the Word hid in his/her heart, and one who will not be tossed to and fro like the waves of the sea."

It pleases God when a person remains pure until marriage, and for that, God will bless that person. The Lord knows that when a person saves himself for his future spouse, the relationship will mean so much more and be all the more special and honorable. God sees things that we sometimes cannot see, and we cannot see our future, but He can. We cannot see who our future mate will be, but God can. Our Lord has predestined a partner for each one of His children, to serve Him with, and in His time He will reveal that person to them. During the time we wait for our future mate, God prepares us, molds us into the person that our spouse will be attracted to. Until we have been prepared and are ready spiritually, God will not allow that person into our lives. That is why it is so important to wait. The Lord wants us to wait on Him to reveal our Mr. or Ms. ’Right�? not ‘Right now�? He knows that in the long run, a person will be so much more felicitous if they listen to Him and follow His wise ways. Patience is such an amazing virtue! Maybe we can’t see how having patience affects us at the present time, but the effects in the long run are wondrous. God will bless a person who waits patiently and the marriage will be so much more endearing. God created marriage and He knows just how extraordinary and important it is. God created sex, and He knows how special it is; so amazingly special, it was meant only for married couples, who are to spend forever together. If a person gives casual dating up to God and waits patiently for his soul mate, he will not have to worry about having guilt or regrets for his past because he will have done his best to refrain from anything that is sexually impure.

When taking a closer look at ‘dating�? it is easy to see the negative effects dating can have on a person. The modern dating system does not train people to form a lasting relationship, it actually trains them to form a series of short term relationships, which is basically training for divorce. Yes, the modern dating system is as much a preparation for divorce as it is for marriage! This is evident by simply taking a look at divorce rates. It is further evidence of the nonchalance going on in relationships today. How can a person prevent divorce? It is indeed, quite simple, one must listen to God’s voice, and in order to have the ability to do so, that person must form a close relationship with God. Ellen Duncan tells a story of a young lady who went through divorce, "A certain young lady married a young man who seemed to be a great guy but later turned out to be in awful sins, leading to divorce. The comment was, ‘if she had dated him longer and spent more time with him, she would have found that he was not a good fellow!�?However, we know that there have been marriages where a partner hid his or her sins for many years before the spouse ever found out about it! The solution is, that if she had spent more time with God, asking for direction, and not as much with the young man, God would have told her not to do it!"

It is important to have Christ-centered relationships. When the Lord does reveal a person’s soul mate to him, and both the man and the woman have a Christ-centered relationship, the chances of divorce are slim to none. Preventing divorce saves a person from a tremendous amount of anxiety and brokenheartedness, and that is exactly what God is attempting to protect us from! He can see the negative consequences that come of dating casually, without having a Christ-centered relationship. When Christ is not in the extreme center of any relationship, the danger of marrying the wrong person is very real, and can therefore eventually lead to divorce. God knows the terrible things that can come out of divorce. He sees the effects divorce can have on the rest of the family. Children are affected mentally and can have all kinds of troubles later on in life and not to mention all the frustrations and unnecessary stresses they will have to face during the time of divorce! They absolutely do not deserve that kind of life. God intended for a man and a woman to raise a child, together, as a team. Divorce affects other members of the family and friends as well. It saddens me to think of how so many people are taking divorce so lightly and they do not even think of how the rest of the family will be affected. Divorce is just part of the mess God is trying to save us from. He can see what lies ahead and loves us so much that He warns us and attempts to protect us from our own selves.

A little quote that is very dear to my heart says, "Run for God with all your might and do not worry about whom you will marry. Just keep your eyes on Jesus. One day you will look next to you and you will find someone running alongside of you. That will be your husband or wife." It is that simple.