Premarital Sex, Demystifying the Festivity

by Katrina Lacey

A girl and her boyfriend have talked about it repeatedly, thought about it constantly, debated about it regularly, and they have decided that tonight is the night. The mood is set; the lights are dimmed, candles are flickering, romantic music serenades them softly. Everything seems right. Or is it? He has done some research, she has talked to her doctor, they have checked a few statistics online, and he even has a condom but, is all this right? Today’s society has utterly desensitized the true meaning and significance of sex. Premarital sex has become a trend, another thing to do on a Friday night. Even with all the advertisements and warnings about STDs, the constant reminders of being a teenage mom, and all the lessons on doing what is right and what is wrong morally, teenagers and young adults are still subjecting themselves to this feral life of premarital sex and sin. Having sex before marriage affects these allegedly invincible teens physically, emotionally, and spiritually. 

The physical consequences of premarital sex may be the greatest. The risk of getting pregnant, being infected with a STD, or obtaining the HIV or AIDS virus should be enough of a warning sign. According to Erica Monasterio, a nurse practitioner and associate clinical professor of adolescent medicine at the University of California in San Francisco, "the teen years are the beginning of a girl's most fertile time," (Forman 70). Therefore, the risk of getting pregnant is notably high, higher than in a middle-aged woman. These young women and men whom choose to have premarital sex are putting themselves at risk, and the risk they are taking has consequences that can radically change both lives. Teens who think they are invincible to an unwanted pregnancy are entirely wrong. Statistics show that four out of every ten girls in the United States will get pregnant before they are 20, that is an average of nine hundred thousand to 1 million teens per year, an unbelievable amount (National 1). In addition to obtaining an unwanted pregnancy, there is always the risk of contracting a STD. One in five Americans obtain a penicillin resistant viral STD, accounting for the three million new cases of STDs teenagers contract a year (Encouraging 409). According to Linda Alexander, Ph.D., president and CEO of the American Social Health Association, ASHA, "one forth of [these] STDs occur in 15- 22 year olds,�?(Forman 64). These STDs are transmittable, deadly, and all have grim consequences.

In addition to the physical consequences are the emotional penalties. These penalties often haunt the individual and will remain for a lifetime of distress. In an article about teen mothers, all state that their lives will never be the same, and wish that they would have thought a little more before they acted. One teen mother, Nora Cadena, 18, from San Fernando, California says that she “wish[es] [she] could just go to the movies on a whim or play basketball like [she] used to,�?(Marsa 103). She also states that she is determined not to be another teen mom on the road to nowhere. Of the teens polled by Seventeen Magazine, a magazine for teenage girls, 36% regret the choices they made to have pre-marital sex (Forman 63). After having sex, a person’s personal value and dignity are destroyed. They begin to be known not for who they are or their accomplishments, but for what and who they do. With sex between two married individuals, the sex is about giving, not taking. Teenagers who engage in pre-marital sex choose to have sex for selfish reasons. It is all about getting as much satisfaction as possible, and leaving before there is a relationship to deal with. There is also usually the confusion between sex and love. Teenagers cannot decipher whether the feelings they are having are based on love, or if they being wooed into a false security of alleged joy and satisfaction. This emotional baggage has the ability to haunt an individual for the rest of their life; it will weigh down their heart, and disturb them psychologically forever.

Having premarital sex not only disrupts members of modern society physically and emotionally, but will also interfere with their spiritual lives as well. The relationships individuals hold with God are ones that are not meant to be broken. When a person makes the decision to have premarital sex, he or she is disobeying the law that our creator has sent forth. God does not want us to be lustful. In 1 Thessalonians 4:3-5, the apostle Paul tells the world that “God wants [the world and its inhabitants] to be holy, so [they] should keep clear of all sexual sin,�?(Inductive 1373). The sexual sin Paul speaks of includes engaging in pre-marital sex. God says that sex is a gift given to married people only when he commands man to “share your love only with your wife�?(Inductive 764) in Proverbs 5: 15. God compares a man’s sex life to a spring of water, asking the question of why an individual would “spill the water of your springs in public, having sex with just anyone?�?(Inductive 764). These verses directly command men and women to remain solely loyal and sexually involved with the their husband or wife. When a person disobeys these laws, their relationship with God is crushed. They become lost in their spiritual walk, and lose their faith all through one night of supposed bliss. God did not intend for casual sex to become another thing to do on a Friday night, he created it for pleasure, yes, but exclusively pleasure between two married people.

Premarital sex �?just another thing to do on a Friday night �?or is it? Selfish, perplexing, convoluted, grim, and feral are all words to describe this unintended way of life. Despite all of the risks: pregnancy, STDs, HIV, AIDS, death, pain, grief, emotional baggage, guilt, decreased self image and value, a child, and a corrupted relationship with God, teenagers and young adults are still participating in the act of pre-marital sex. This once serious and sacred act has been diminished into a daily and mere casual confrontation between two strangers. Do not let this repulsive sin engulf modern society any longer. Choose to be abstinent until marriage; it is the safest way to ensure society’s physical, mental, and spiritual health.

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