by Teresa Demory

What value would you place on yourself? What is your total worth? Who are you important to? Are you important to God? As an individual you are important to God---"Are not two sparrows sold for a cent? And yet not one of them will fall to the ground apart from your Father. But the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Therefore do not fear; you are of more value than many sparrows" (Matt. 10:29-31). God created us in His own image (Gen. 1:27)---- and He gave each one of us different abilities or talents (Matt. 25:14-30; Rom. 12:6-8; 1 Cor. 12:28-31). Every member of the body of Christ is important, just as every part of our physical body is important (I Corinthians 12:12-27).

The Single Woman's Life can be Full and Complete
Christ is the foundation of a complete life-----"For we are God's fellow workers; you are God's field, God's building. For no man can lay a foundation other than the one which is laid, which is Jesus Christ "(I Cor. 3: 9, 11). We must have faith to build on this foundation. "And without faith it is impossible to please Him, for he who comes to God must believe that He is, and that He is a rewarder of those who seek Him " (Heb. 11:6)

"I have been crucified with Christ; and it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh 1 live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and delivered Himself up for me" (Gal. 2:20). How do we obtain this faith? "So faith comes by hearing and hearing by the Word of Christ" (Rom. 10:17) We have faith through a knowledge of God's word and we must study and search the Scriptures daily to obtain that knowledge (2 Tim. 2:15; Acts 17:11)

Does God Require Marriage for Everyone?
God does not require marriage for everyone and some may choose to remain single. Paul was one of the greatest examples of a Christian who chose to remain single (1 Cor. 7:112). In this passage we find that the Corinthians had written to Paul and asked the  question---Is it good for a man to touch a woman?-----and in verse 1 Paul tells them---- "It is good for a man not to touch a woman?" 

We know that the city of Corinth was known world wide for its immorality----and if you study secular history ----you can see just how immoral these people were. This is why Paul just a few verses earlier in chapter six verses 9-11 tells them not to be deceived; "neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor homosexuals, nor thieves, nor the covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor swindlers, shall inherit the kingdom of God. And such were some of you; but you were washed, but your were sanctified, but you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ, and in the Spirit of our God. "

In verses 6-9 of chapter 7 Paul tells them, in his opinion, he wishes everyone was like him - and would remain unmarried ...but if you don't have self-control it's better to be married. We must always remember that even though Paul says `in his opinion' we must remember that he is an inspired writer.

Then in verses 10-11 Paul gives them instructions from the Lord - If a woman leaves her husband without a scriptural reason then she must remain unmarried (Matt. 19:9; 5:32). So if you are single for reasons that are unscriptural, then you may never re-marry. Is there any exception to this? --- Yes, if your spouse dies. In 1 Cor. 7:39-40 the apostle Paul says, "a wife is bound as long as her husband lives; but if her husband is dead, she is free to be married to whom she wishes, only IN THE LORD. But in my opinion she is happier if she remains as she is... " Paul explains it more clearly in Romans 7:1-3. Anna, in Luke 2:36-38 chose to remain as she was, a widow, devoting herself to the service of the Lord. In this verse, I Cor. 7:39, what does the phrase "in the Lord" mean? Before we answer this, read these verses---using the same phrase- * "Wives submit yourselves to your own husbands as it is fit "in the Lord" (Col.
3:18). * "Children, obey your parents "in the Lord "for this is right " (Eph. 6:1).

Now, what does this phrase "in the Lord" mean? In Eph. 6:1, does it mean that only Christian children----children who are old enough to obey the gospel and become members of the Lord's church are to obey there parents? What about Col. 3:20? "Children obey your parents in all things; for this is well pleasing unto the Lord. " Eph. 6:2 says children are to honor their father and mother. In Col. 3:18, is Paul giving a command that a woman only has to submit to her husband if he is a Christian? I Peter 3:1 informs us that wives are to submit to their husbands even if they are unbelieving. While it is true that Paul is writing to Christians, we cannot leave out the fact that non-Christians are held to the same set of laws. Sin cannot be charged to anyone when there is no law (Romans 5:13). This would mean if non-Christian children did not have to obey their parents, and non-Christian wives did not have to submit to their husbands, because there is no law against it; then we would be better off to live as non-Christians, because there is no law to condemn us. Again, this is not so according to Romans 5:13. 

God expects everyone--Christian and non-Christian alike to live according to His will---"in the Lord". If we are the kind of parents God would have us to be, then we will properly take care of our children, we would never demand that they do evil. If we are the kind of children God would have us to be, then we will obey our parents, submit to their authority, for this is the will of God---this is His law! Likewise, the wife---Christian or not---will submit to her husband---it is God's will---"in the Lord". Look back at I Cor. 7:39. Is Paul making a command that a widow only marry a Christian? While this is what God would prefer, why only in the second marriage, and not the first? If we use the same reasoning as before, Paul is saying that a woman is free to marry, if her husband dies, but she must do so according to God's will, His commands. Meaning, she should not marry someone who is not eligible to be married, someone divorced for the wrong reason. Keeping in harmony the context and all that the Scriptures teach, it cannot mean that a widow can marry only a Christian--it simply means she must marry according to God's will, God's word, His commands, "in the Lord".

Some Single Women are Widows
In 1 Timothy 5:5-10 Paul tells how those that are truly widows indeed must be. Look at some of those things that qualify a woman as a widow indeed.
*Be one who has fixed her hope on God
* Continued in supplications and prayer night and day
*Is blameless or above reproach

*Must be at least 60 years of age and the wife of one man
*Must have a reputation for good works
*If she has brought up children (she must have nourished children either her own or
those entrusted to her care).
*If she had shown hospitality to strangers (3 John 5; Rom. 16:23)
*If she had washed the saints feet
*If she had assisted those in distress
*And if she has devoted herself to every good work

These single, widowed women are not retired from the Lord's work----God doesn't have a retirement plan---they are still faithfully serving God. They are widows indeed -- leading a godly life --- full of good works. They have now taken on their role as older "single" women in service to God. These women are "reverent, teaching what is good and encouraging the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, to be sensible, pure, workers at home, kind, being in subjection to their husbands, that the word of God may not be dishonored (blasphemed) " (Titus 2:3-5). We have some older women who teach the younger women as they are commanded to do. They follow the example of Naomi who taught her daughters-in-law (Ruth 1-2). We need more older women, single or married obeying God's command to teach the younger women.

Single Women's Service to God
Paul wrote so many passages that help us live the Christian life. In 1 Cor. 7:32-35 we read, "But 1 want you to be free from concern. One who is unmarried is concerned about the things of the Lord; but one who is married is concerned about the things of the world, how he may please his wife, and his interests are divided. And the woman who is unmarried, and the virgin, is concerned about the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and spirit; but one who is married is concerned about the things of the world, how she may please her husband. And this I say for your own benefit; not to put a restraint upon you, but to promote what is seemly, and to secure undistracted devotion to the Lord. " Paul is telling us to seek Christ first (Matt. 6:33) even before marriage.

Single women sometimes have more time to secure that "undistracted devotion to the Lord" (I Cor. 7:35). They don't seem to have as many distractions as women that are married and have children. Bear in mind, Paul is NOT saying marriage is wrong by any means--------God created woman for the man (I Cor. 11:8-9, Gen. 2:18-25). He's simply saying for him---and some of us---we could better serve the Lord by not marrying.
As servants of God---whether married or single ---we have great influence on others---but
single Christian women have influence that maybe others don't have. Their willingness to
serve God alone shows strength as the worthy woman in Proverbs 31:25. They don't have
the sheltering arm of a husband (Prov. 31:28-29)----Yet, they are always ready and willing
to serve the Lord any way they are able---if devoted they should inspires us all. They are
the ones we so often look to with admiration for their faithfulness to the Lord. They let
their light shine in such a way as to glorify the Father (Matt. 5:16). Those who choose to
remain single as Paul did, show the greatest example of self-control. "Abstain from fleshly
lusts" (I Pet. 2:11). God gave men and women the desire they have for each other---and
this is good in the realm of the marriage relationship---singles must have self-control.

Exercising this self-control allows her to live as God wants her to. She must be holy and
pure. "...Be holy both in body and spirit..." (I Cor. 7:34). "Finally, brethren, whatever is
true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely,
whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, let
your mind dwell on these things" (Phil. 4:8). "This is pure and undefiled religion in the
sight of our God and Father, to visit orphans and widows in their distress, and to keep
oneself unstained by the world" (James 1:27). "Blessed are the pure in heart for they
shall see God" (Matt. 5:8) "Like a city that is broken into and without walls, is a man
who has no control over his spirit" (Prov. 25:28). Without this wall of self-control, we
can become weak and sin.

A wonderful example that we have today of a single woman totally devoted to the Lord's work is our Sister Lottie Beth Hobbs. She chose to remain single to serve the Lord and has influenced women for the cause of Christ the world over. She has written many books which she supplies (in most cases) free to those in mission fields. She has made a great impact on my life -----and she supplied me with many of her books and lots of material when my husband and I were in full-time mission work. She is a dear, special friend and sister in Christ. Her books have been translated into many languages and she has spoken to women all over the United States. We may never know the countless number of women whose lives she has touched and influenced for the cause of Christ. She spends much of her time teaching younger women in classes, lectures and by her godly example. Some of you may know other single women like Sister Lottie Beth----who have shown this kind of devotion to our Lord. Single women seem to have more time to devote to teaching, writing and encouraging other women. "Therefore encourage one another, and build up one another, just as you also are doing" (I Thess. 5:11).

What are Some Good Qualities of a Single Christian Woman?
The worthy woman in Proverbs 31:10-31, has many good qualities. Even though this woman is a wife, in principle, wouldn't most of her qualities apply to single women as well? Can you think of some of those qualities that would apply?

*virtuous
*trustworthy and loyal
*good business woman
*does good always; lets her light shine
*has dignity, honor and wisdom
*has a good name
*doesn't worry; is not idle or lazy
*uses the talents that she has
*has confidence without conceit
*has inward beauty and fears the Lord

What does Ecclesiastes 12:13 say is the whole duty of man? "Fear God and keep His commandments. " A single, Christian woman must walk worthy of her calling. Therefore the prisoner of the Lord entreat you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling with which you have been called, with all humility and gentleness, with patience showing forbearance to one another in love" (Eph. 4:1-2). 

What does forbearance mean? To bear with; endure (W.E. Vine). "...That our God may count you worthy of your calling... in order that the name of our Lord Jesus may glorified in you, and you in Him, according to the grace of our God and the Lord Jesus Christ" (II Thess. 1:11). We are called as "saints "---- "partakers of a heavenly calling" (Rom. 1:7; I Cor. 1:2; Heb. 3:1) "sanctified in Christ Jesus. " What does sanctified mean? Set apart, holy ones---it is the state into which God, in grace, calls sinful men, and in which they begin their course as Christians
(W.E. Vine). "And so, as those who have been chosen of God, holy and beloved, put on
a heart of compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience; bearing with one
another, and forgiving each other, whoever has a complaint against anyone; just as the
Lord forgave you, so also should you. And beyond all these things put on love, which is
the perfect bond of unity" (Col. 3:12-14). "Conduct yourselves in a manner worthy of the
gospel of Christ; so that whether I come and see you or remain absent, I may hear of you
that you are standing firm in one spirit, with one mind striving together for the faith of
the gospel" (Phil. 1:27).