Let Us Pray
13 readers share how they've been praying about their singleness lately
Feburary 18, 2004

I'm a 35-year-old woman who's never been married, and each day I pray that I won't take for granted the relationships I've been able to build with other single women and with my family. I believe these relationships wouldn't be as strong if I had a husband right now. Finding ways to be grateful in my life can be difficult as each year passes. However, I know God will provide all I need, and I place my faith on that promise.

CB

I feel called to be a prayer warrior for my single friends, so I regularly pray for us. There aren't too many of us left, which is another reason I feel we need to be especially supportive of each other. Usually I pray we can all rest in the knowledge that there's a higher purpose in our singleness. I pray that our future husbands are being fed spiritually and growing into strong Christian men with outstanding character. I pray these husbands are seeking the Lord, developing in spiritual leadership, and fleeing from temptation. I also pray that God is using this time to help us become the women he created us to be and that we're developing qualities that will make us excellent wives, if that's in God's plan for our future.

Suzanne

I've been asking the Holy Spirit to help me be more aware of his still, small voice. Because I'm a pretty confident woman, I often dismiss what may be his voice as a trivial matter. I need to learn to listen, to be aware that the smallness of the thought doesn't necessarily indicate a lack of importance. I feel that if I can learn to "be still," I'll be able to discern things in a new relationship much sooner than I have in the past.

Cindi

I've been praying to have eyes to see God's love for me. I know it's there all around me every day. I think so often I get blinded to it by the noisiness and busyness of our fast-food culture. And we singles often can feel passed over or unlovable. But really, we just have undivided attention to focus on God's love for us. I'm praying that I'll be able to take full advantage of that.

Janice

At some point I decided I'd like to find a godly woman, a woman of integrity in all areas, who has knowledge of the Bible, and who would be a good accountability partner. Then I asked myself, "Why do I deserve I woman like that?" A woman like that is likely looking for the same. My prayer then was that God would make me into the man I should be, someone who would attract the woman of my dreams.

Jay

I pray for God to open the eyes of my heart. I've been longing for my mate for many years. I've had crushes on lots of guys and have dated but I've never fallen in love. As I'm getting closer to 35, I have moments when I begin to panic because I fear I'll never meet that special someone to marry.

Recently I was listening to the song "Open the Eyes of My Heart" and it took on a different meaning. I started asking God to open the eyes of my heart and show me how his love surrounds me. Not just in the beauty of nature and people but to let me see how very much he cares for me—little me and my hopes, dreams, desires—the things that I don't often share with others.

One thing I've been praying about specifically is help for when I'm sitting in a pew on Sunday morning behind countless couples and can barely see past them because they're all sitting so close together. I ask for help feeling God's love and security because during those times I can feel so lonely, even in that crowd of people. I ask for other little things to remind me that I'm not alone, that he's with me and he knows the desires of my heart.

Name withheld

My prayer of late is that I'll truly milk all that's great about this life stage. That I'll seize the opportunities that God's putting before me now: to serve him, to travel, to really figure out who I am, to have close relationships with lots of people, to be spontaneous, to be nudged outside my comfort zone and into whatever new terrain God has for me in each season of life.

CeCe

I have been asking the Lord to give me his eyes when I'm interacting with men. For example, recently I started and stopped interacting with a guy whose personality normally would have turned me off. But, because he's one of the best-looking men I've ever met in my life and he was actually pursuing ME, I went out with him on a couple of dates. I really had to check my motives, because I felt as though I was turning into one of those shallow individuals who judge people solely on their looks. I felt horrible that I paid more attention to my ego than to what God says is truly attractive.

Tia

One of the things I pray about the most regarding my singleness is for the Lord to keep me holy, and with eyes focused on him. I've seen a few examples of wonderful women of Christ who took their eyes away form him and ended up in unholy relationships with non-believers. One—a fervent follower of the Lord for 17 years—even ended up living with a guy, whom she got pregnant by then got married to and divorced from all within an 18-month period! The Lord used this situation with my friend to show me that no matter how many years we spend in relationship with God and how devoted to him we may be, Satan is waiting for one small moment of weakness to make his move and lead us down a path of sin and destruction. At times I've struggled with the wait, and I have to get on my knees and ask the Lord to keep me safe with my eyes focused on him and my trust firmly in place that he knows what's best for me.

Claudia

I pray the following prayer (that a girlfriend gave to me) every night. I also pray against my brain being washed into thinking that only a tall, dark, and handsome man will do!

Lord God, your Word declares that if I delight myself in you—if I enjoy and seek your pleasure above mine—you'll give me the desires of my heart (Psalm 37:4). Desiring a husband is neither evil nor selfish because marriage is honorable (Hebrews 13:4). At the beginning of creation, you proclaimed, "It is not good that man should be alone" and then you created Eve to be a suitable partner for Adam (Genesis 2:18). In the name of Jesus, I ask that you would protect the husband—a suitable partner—you have chosen for me. Because the covenant of marriage is sacred (Mark 10:9), I ask for a man of God. Please give me a husband whose love for me is only outmatched by his love for you; a man who will cherish me and build me up (Proverbs 31:28); a man who will honor me (I Peter 3:7) and our marriage vows; a man who will be a good father and provider; a man whom I will be attracted to physically, emotionally, and spiritually; a man who will love me as Christ loved the church (Ephesians 5:25). Keep me from attaching myself to another man out of desperation. I will not settle for a relationship that's second best, convenient, or one that feeds my insecurities. Guard my purity and give me the patience to wait. And when I meet him, confirm to me that he is the one. Release from me the baggage of past relationships, and prepare me for the man You have chosen to be my husband. Free me from any hindrances to a healthy and godly marriage: insecurities, habitual sins, selfishness, and emotional hurts. Dispel my unrealistic expectations that set me up for disappointment. I place my trust in you rather than my partner. In this period of waiting, I will look to you alone to be my companion and best friend. You are the one who redeems my life from the pit, who crowns me with love and compassion, who satisfies my desires with good things (Psalm 103:4-5). I will not be anxious, but as I present my requests to you, flood me with the peace that surpasses all understanding so my heart and my mind are guarded in Christ Jesus (Philippians 4:6,7). In this request, I commit myself to trust you and do good, to dwell in the land and feed on your faithfulness. I commit my way to you and trust that you will bring it to pass (Psalm 37:35).

Beth

Recently I've come to grips with the fact that I may stay single. Living in the West Indies is hard; because of Third World values you are expected to get married by a certain age. So I'm going through a lot of hurt and pain, and my self-esteem has crashed.

I've begun to ask God to help me learn to accept his will and to take him as my husband. I'm learning that although he can't take me in his arms and physically hold me, he gives a spiritual comforting of the soul that no man can give.

Avionne

My prayer is based on the one my mom has been praying for me since I was in the sixth grade—that God would prepare the heart of my husband for me and I for him. I've also begun praying that he would make my desires to be that of the man he has for me and to make his desires be for me. When I notice strange changes in my heart or changes in the ways I think about/approach marriage and children, it feels strange and sometimes a little weird—but I know it's all a part of God's process of preparing me to be a better woman of God so that someday I can be a ministry-focused wife and loving mother. My prayers don't include a timeline, though! As a matter of fact, I try to make my prayers reflect a submission to God's timeline—whether that be in the next year or the next ten years. And that helps me to remember that God's timing is seldom early, but never late!

Molly

One prayer I've prayed consistently is that the Holy Spirit would help me discern the motives of the people who come into my life. The answer: I've met lots of people I thought ultimately would be my perfect match, but very quickly my eyes have been opened to see the red flags and warning signs. Because of that, I haven't invested a lot of time in relationships that were headed nowhere. At the same time, I've made friends that remain a source of encouragement and motivation when I need it—and I'm there for them when they need me too.

Dikeledi

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