For single Christian women, the question of desirability can be loaded with a multitude of puzzling issues. Each woman must balance the age-old tenets of her faith with the mores and styles of an ever-changing world. When searching for a mate, every woman wants to be as attractive as possible within the bounds of her commitment to Christ.

In her book Until Love Finds You, Michelle McKinney Hammond takes a hard look at the issue with one eye on scripture and what she calls "the right spirit."

She begins by explaining a Christian woman's responsibility to remain attractive and ready for a relationship, even when a potential suitor is not apparent. "Don't get caught making the same observation as the Shulamite women in Song of Songs, who said, 'My own vineyard I have not kept.' A lady in waiting should look the part whether a knight is in sight or not."

McKinney Hammond then goes on to examine some of the reasons for this tendency to neglect the "vineyard." "Did God really intend for Christian men and women to walk around devoid of physical appeal? I think not. I think that Satan would like us to believe this subtle lie under the guise of 'true' holiness. That way believers would not be attracted to each other. After all, 'a house divided against itself will not stand' (Matthew 12:25). "The Bible has far too many stories relating how beautiful the women were and how handsome the men for me to believe that God dismisses the importance of our appearance."

McKinney Hammond also notes that beauty operates on three levels, and that while most Christian women have cultivated a spiritual beauty, many have neglected their mental beauty and physical beauty. She asserts that a woman's mental beauty is most clearly demonstrated through her willingness to control her passions and walk with God.

For most women, finding their physical beauty is a two-part process:

A) Learning to like yourself.
B) Confidently embracing your natural beauty.

While acknowledging the difficulty of the task, McKinney Hammond insists that learning to like yourself is simply a matter of thinking in terms of God's plan for you.

"God made all of us the way he determined best, in line with his superior knowledge and for his superior purpose. And in his thinking, you and I are just fine as we are. Think about your assets. Yes, you have some because God made you. Reflect on your best gifts.

"Otherwise the spirit of rejection walks in front of you shooing away all possible candidates for your hand. Worse yet, you sabotage every relationship—it's called 'I'll get you before you get me.' But the only person who gets got is you."

Embracing your natural beauty is the way McKinney Hammond suggests you enhance your outward appearance while staying within the tasteful tradition of God's word.

"Women in the Bible have a more holistic natural approach to beauty," she says. "They utilized herbs and oils long before they got to makeup. (Remember Esther's 12-month beautification rites?) They knew the importance of having healthy beautiful skin. This was the secret of maintaining a youthful appearance for many years. Purity has gotten a bad rap. It's considered by many to be a boring lifestyle, but I see nothing boring about having a clean conscience and healthy life style. Take a look around at the ravages of sexual promiscuity, alcoholism, nicotine addiction, and drug abuse. The results speak for themselves."

As she wraps up her look at beauty, McKinney Hammond reminds us that physical beauty is a benefit to be enjoyed in addition to a beautiful spirit, not in its stead.

"What you do, what you say, what you think—these will always have more impact and a greater lasting impression than your reflection in the looking glass. Don't just look beautiful, be beautiful."

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