How To install a poor-man's security system:

Go to a second-hand store and buy a pair of men's used work boots (a really big pair).

Put them outside your front door on top of a pile of Guns and Ammo magazines.

Put a dog dish beside it; a BIG dog dish.

Leave a note on your front door that says something like, "Bubba, Big Mike and I have gone to get more ammunition.

Be back in a 1/2 hour.  Don't disturb the Pit bulls; they've just been wormed."