Inspiration of The Heart

STEP BY STEP

The sun is sparkling across the morning grass
I wonder if these feelings will ever pass.
It's such a beautiful day, so why am I blue?
Of course, I forgot, my colors are tainted in hue.

The anger, the hate, the disgust is strong
I know what he did was very wrong
Why in my head do I believe this to be true
But in my heart I feel a warped point of view

The anger, the hate and disgust are not just for him
I blame myself for reacting so dim.
So I was a child, what do you expect?
I knew right from wrong so why did I neglect?

I could have walked away and saved my heart
From the abuse and damage he invoked from the start.
The memories go as far back as they can
A little baby girl he set out to damn.

Was it fear, curiosity or desire I felt?
Probably all of the above with the emotional cards we are dealt.
Does this scare you when you read my inner thoughts?
Its tough to face the truth even when its sought.

Fear makes sense to all concerned
Curiosity can be a painful lesson learned
All kids have this trait to varying degrees
But desire? No way! Do you refuse to believe?

This is how programmed our minds have become
I know what you are thinking and its a sexual one.
Consider for a moment another look at the word
Sexual meaning is not the only connotation to the verb.

The DESIRE to PLEASE is a given in one so young
Why wouldn't they trust and believe in an older one?
To take advantage of this labels one as a coward
Deformed minds are what makes them feel empowered.

It has taken me years to put my demons to rest
Now knowing that there never was a test.
I pressured myself into guilt and self-doubt
I was an innocent child I am happy to shout!

He was to blame for the damage he caused
It was his choice to break all these laws
My family is healing as best as they can
We have taken the power back from this horrible man.

I have children of my own and I vow to protect
By educating them with knowledge that cannot deject.
I want them to be as strong as I feel today
Love, trust and respect is our household mainstay.

I feel sad for you, you pitiful thing.
You know not what strength of character can bring.
I dare not label you within the category of man
It does a disservice to those that can.

I have no fear that one day you will be punished
It may not be by me. Does that astonish?
Oh yes, I look forward to 'your day'
For I will be there in spirit watching you pay!

The sun is sparkling across the morning grass
A faint memory has just floated past.
What a beautiful day, the sky is cornflower blue.
I am so excited for there is so much to do.